Guide · Alternatives
A Where Should We Begin alternative, for every kind of night
Esther Perel’s game asks for stories people rarely tell. It’s a wonderful thing for the right table. For the nights you want something lighter, broader or free to start, here’s how Kumustahan compares.
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Name a small thing people close to you know you always do.
Sabihin yung small thing na alam ng close sa'yo na lagi mong ginagawa.
Being known often lives in tiny details. The little things people remember can feel surprisingly sweet.
Minsan nasa tiny details yung feeling na kilala ka. Sweet din kapag naaalala ng tao yung small things mo.
In short
The idea
A disclosure first: we make Kumustahan. We describe Esther Perel’s game only as her team does.
“Where Should We Begin? A Game of Stories” is a card game created by psychotherapist Esther Perel, who also hosts a podcast of the same name. Its second edition has 200 story cards, dice and rapid-play instructions, and it invites real stories and vulnerability with a partner, friends or strangers; there’s also a version shaped for work culture. Kumustahan is a conversation card app with seven decks, from Icebreakers to Couples, where you choose how deep to go and every card has English and Filipino.
Tips
- Match the game to the table: depth-first groups versus mixed groups.
- Ask for a time and place in every answer to get stories.
- Give listeners one follow-up question each.
- Start light, then open up, even with close friends.
Decks for this
Side by side
As each is described by its maker (checked October 2026).
| Where Should We Begin? | Kumustahan | |
|---|---|---|
| Format | Physical card game with dice | App for iPhone and Android |
| Cards | Story cards that prompt a story | Question cards, with a reflection on the back |
| Made for | Partners, friends, family and strangers who want depth | Any table, from new neighbors to couples |
| How deep it goes | Built for vulnerability | You choose: Keep it light, Open up or Go deeper |
| Languages | English | English and Filipino on every card |
| To start | Buy the game | 420 cards free, no account, offline |
Which fits your night?
- Choose Where Should We Begin if you love Esther Perel’s work, your group wants depth and storytelling from the start, and you’d like a beautiful physical game.
- Choose Kumustahan if your table is mixed (some people want laughs, some want depth), if you want to start light and open up slowly, or if you want to try something free tonight.
- Use both for different nights: a story game for a dinner with close friends, the app for the family reunion.
Getting stories out of question cards
Kumustahan’s cards are questions, but many of them ask for a moment rather than an opinion, which is what makes a story. A few ways to make a session feel more like a story game:
- Add a house rule: every answer has to include a specific time and place.
- Let the listeners ask one follow-up question each before the next card.
- Pick Getting to know and Reflect, and set the depth to Open up.
- Flip the card and read the reflection aloud as a way to end each story.
The questions
Story-starting cards from Kumustahan
Real cards from the app that ask for a story, not an opinion. Kumustahan’s cards are questions rather than story prompts, but many play the same way.
Small stories
5 questions
Funny, quick and easy to tell.
-
Share a funny public moment when something embarrassing happened, but you tried to stay normal.
Mag-share ng funny public moment na may embarrassing na nangyari, pero sinubukan mong umaktong normal.
Back of the card
The public poker face deserves credit. Sometimes looking calm is just excellent acting with a normal facial expression.
May credit dapat ang public poker face. Minsan mukhang calm ka lang, pero acting na pala yun.
-
Name a small thing people close to you know you always do.
Sabihin yung small thing na alam ng close sa'yo na lagi mong ginagawa.
Back of the card
Being known often lives in tiny details. The little things people remember can feel surprisingly sweet.
Minsan nasa tiny details yung feeling na kilala ka. Sweet din kapag naaalala ng tao yung small things mo.
-
What funny experience made you late to meet a friend?
Anong nakakatawang nangyari kaya ka na-late sa pagkikita ninyo ng friend?
Back of the card
Retell the delay as a very dramatic excuse, if you like.
Kung gusto mo, ikuwento ang pagka-late na parang sobrang dramatic na palusot.
-
Recall a harmless mistake that became a good story later.
Anong pagkakamali ang nakakatawa nang balikan ngayon, na wala namang nasaktan?
Back of the card
What would the title of this story be?
Ano ang magiging pamagat ng kuwentong ito?
-
Describe a moment that stressed you out before but makes you laugh now.
I-describe yung moment na stressful dati pero natatawa ka na ngayon.
Back of the card
Some stressful moments lose their sharp edges with time. Once the panic fades, the story sometimes becomes surprisingly funny.
May stressful moments na lumalambot habang tumatagal. Kapag wala na yung panic, minsan funny story na siya.
Stories about people
5 questions
Who shaped you, who surprised you.
-
Tell us about a time someone was fair to you in a way you still remember.
Ikuwento yung time na naging fair sa'yo ang isang tao, at natatandaan mo pa rin.
Back of the card
Fairness can be memorable because it gives people room to breathe. It says, I see the whole situation, not only the mistake.
Natatandaan ang fairness kasi nakakahinga ang tao. Parang sinasabi nito, nakikita ko yung buong situation, hindi lang yung mali.
-
What is a recent act of kindness that caught you by surprise?
Anong magandang ginawa sa'yo lately ang hindi mo inaasahan?
Back of the card
Keep names private if you like. Picture the instant you realized what they had done for you.
Puwedeng itago ang mga pangalan. Balikan ang sandaling naisip mo kung ano ang ginawa nila para sa'yo.
-
Tell us about a friend who made you feel like you belonged.
Ikuwento yung friend na nagparamdam sa'yo na belong ka.
Back of the card
Inclusion can happen through one seat saved, one question asked, or one person making room on purpose.
Minsan isang upuang tinabi, isang tanong, o isang taong sinadyang magtabi ng space ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka.
-
Who taught you a work or school habit you still use, and what was it?
Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng work o school habit na gamit mo pa rin, at ano yun?
Back of the card
Some habits come from people who modeled them first. Their way of doing things can quietly become part of yours.
May habits na galing sa taong nauna lang magpakita. Tahimik mong nadadala yung style nila hanggang maging part na rin ng style mo.
-
Which compliment have you remembered long after someone said it?
Anong compliment ang tumatak sa'yo kahit matagal na itong sinabi?
Back of the card
The exact words are optional. Notice which part of the compliment stayed with you.
Hindi kailangan ang eksaktong salita. Balikan kung aling bahagi ng papuri ang tumatak sa'yo.
Stories you might not tell often
5 questions
For later in the night. Passing is always fine.
-
What difficult situation are you proud of handling?
Anong mahirap na sitwasyon ang proud kang naharap mo?
Back of the card
You can pass or keep the situation private. What did handling it help you notice about your own abilities?
Puwedeng mag-pass o itago ang sitwasyon. Ano ang napansin mong kaya mo pala matapos mong harapin iyon?
-
Tell us about something you used to avoid that feels less scary now.
Kuwento mo yung dati mong iniiwasan pero hindi na ganun ka-scary ngayon.
Back of the card
Less scary is still movement. You do not have to be fearless to know something has changed.
Movement pa rin ang less scary. Hindi mo kailangang maging fearless para malaman na may nagbago.
-
Which version of your past self are you starting to understand more now?
Aling version ng past self mo ang nagsisimula mong mas maintindihan ngayon?
Back of the card
Understanding your past self does not erase what happened. It can soften the way you hold the person you were.
Hindi binubura ng understanding ang nangyari. Pero puwede nitong palambutin kung paano mo hinahawakan yung dating ikaw.
-
Tell us about a small childhood memory you still remember clearly.
Kuwento mo yung maliit na childhood memory na malinaw pa rin sa'yo.
Back of the card
The memories that stay are not always the biggest ones. Sometimes one small scene keeps its color for years.
Hindi laging pinakamalaki ang memories na naiiwan. Minsan isang maliit na scene ang malinaw pa rin kahit ang tagal na.
-
Name one truth about this season that has been hard to admit but helpful to say.
Magsabi ng isang truth sa season na ito na mahirap aminin pero helpful sabihin.
Back of the card
Some truths become less heavy when they stop hiding. Naming them can be a quiet form of courage.
May mga truth na gumagaan kapag hindi na tinatago. Minsan courage na rin yung kaya mo siyang pangalanan.
A Where Should We Begin alternative
Frequently asked questions
What is a good alternative to Where Should We Begin?
For a mixed table or a free start, a conversation card app like Kumustahan lets you choose the depth, from light to deep. For a dedicated storytelling game, another physical story deck.
What is Where Should We Begin? A Game of Stories?
A card game by psychotherapist Esther Perel. Its second edition includes 200 story cards and dice, and it’s designed to prompt real stories with partners, friends or strangers.
Is there an app for storytelling conversation games?
Kumustahan is a conversation card app whose question cards often ask for a moment or a memory. 420 cards are free, offline and with no account.
Bring a better question to the table.
Free on iPhone and Android. 420 cards free, no account, works offline.