51 guides · real cards in every one
Conversation tips that actually help
Short, practical guides to starting conversations, keeping them going and getting past “fine, thanks”. Every guide comes with real question cards you can use tonight.
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Conversation tips
How to start, keep going and go deeper.
- How to reconnect with your partnerFeeling distant? Small, daily ways back to each other, and what to say.
- How to plan a date night at homeCall it a date, change the room, cook together and bring a few good questions.
- How to talk about the future with your partnerStart near, daydream first, and keep the big topics from becoming a test.
- How to start a conversationOpen with something easy, follow the detail, and never need a script.
- How to get past small talkTurn “busy, you?” into a real conversation without forcing it.
- How to ask follow-up questionsThe second question is where conversations happen. Here’s how to ask it.
- How to check in on someoneHow to ask how someone is really doing, and what to do with the answer.
- How to be a better listenerListening is a skill you can practice. Here’s what it looks like at the table.
- How to handle awkward silenceWhat to say when a conversation goes quiet, and when to say nothing.
- How to reconnect with an old friendWhat to text first, what to ask, and how not to lose touch again.
- How to talk to your parentsFor grown-up kids who want more than updates about the weather and the dog.
- How to host a conversation nightSet-up, house rules and pacing for a night of good questions at home.
- Better family dinner conversationsHow to get past “how was school” at the family table, kids and grandparents included.
- How to keep a conversation going on a dateWhat to talk about on a first date, and what to do when the talk runs dry.
- Deep conversations with your partnerA weekly check-in ritual for couples, and how to talk about the harder things.
- How to break the ice in a groupIcebreaker ideas for teams, classes and youth groups that don’t make people groan.
- How to lead a small group discussionFor lifegroups, Bible studies, book clubs and support groups: questions, pacing, silence.
- Conversation tips for introvertsHow to talk to people without running out of energy, from someone who gets it.
- How to make your own conversation cardsWriting good questions, ordering them light to deep, and printing your own deck.
- How to have deep conversationsDepth comes from time, privacy and one honest answer, not from big questions.
- How to ask good questionsSmall, specific, about a moment, and only one at a time.
- How to keep a conversation goingPick up the threads people hand you, and add some of your own.
- How to talk to strangersShort, friendly, easy to leave: the art of the five-minute conversation.
- How to get kids to talkSwap the after-school interrogation for silly, side-by-side questions.
- How to talk to your teenagerFewer lectures, more car rides, and real interest in their world.
- How to talk to your dadFor dads who answer “fine” and kids who want more than the weather report.
- How to interview your grandparentsRecord their stories before they’re gone: what to bring, ask and keep.
- How to talk about feelingsFor people who find it hard: start small, name it plainly, and go side by side.
- Conversation games for groupsNo-prop games that get a group talking, sorted by size and energy.
- Turn conversation cards into a game for adultsScoring, guessing and steal rules that make a question deck feel like game night.
- Game night without board gamesPaper, pens, a bowl and good questions: a whole evening with nothing to buy.
- Conversation cards at a partyFor a mingling crowd, not a dinner table: cards at the door, on the tables and by the drinks.
- Conversation cards in the classroomMorning meetings, think-pair-share, inside-outside circles and exit tickets.
- Conversation cards for ESL classesMatch the card to the grammar, pre-teach the words, and correct later.
- Conversation cards for team meetingsA two-minute opener that doesn’t make anyone cringe.
- Conversation cards at a weddingTable cards for the reception, the rehearsal dinner and the getting-ready room.
- Conversation cards for youth ministryFun first, faith second, leaders answer honestly, and everyone can pass.
- Conversation cards for seniorsFor activity directors, volunteers and families visiting assisted living.
- A phones-down dinnerA basket, one question and a few honest exceptions.
- How to start a conversation over textSkip “hey”: send something specific, easy to answer and easy to ignore.
- Open vs closed questionsWhat each kind is good for, and how to turn one into the other.
- How to answer deep questionsFor the other side of the card: take a beat, shrink it, tell one story, or pass.
- How to reconnect with your siblingsFor adult siblings who drifted: drop the old roles and start with small things.
- How to avoid politics at ThanksgivingA host’s plan: a quiet word beforehand, smart seating and redirects in your pocket.
- What to ask instead of “How was your day?”Better end-of-day questions for kids, partners and roommates.
- What to ask instead of “How are you?”Alternatives for coworkers, friends going through it, texts and phone calls.
- How to make a question jarA jar, colored slips and a few rules: questions for every dinner, all year.
- A weekly family question nightThirty minutes, one night a week, rotating roles and a notebook of answers.
- Networking conversation tipsArrive early, join open groups, ask about projects, exit gracefully, follow up.
- Long-distance friendship tipsStanding calls, small contact and doing things “together” from far away.
- How to run a virtual icebreakerChat waterfalls, round robins and breakout pairs for video calls.
Guides
Conversation cards, explained.
- What “kumustahan” meansThe Filipino word for checking in on each other, in English, with examples.
- Filipino conversation cardsWhat makes a deck Filipino, and how to choose one, on paper or on your phone.
- Conversation card games in the PhilippinesComfort Cards, Toni Talks, Hugot, Parents Are Human, WNRS and Kumustahan, compared.
- A We’re Not Really Strangers alternativeLove WNRS but want Tagalog, more decks, or a deck on your phone?
- Conversation card app or physical deck?Paper or phone: what each is better at, honestly.
- A conversation card app for any tableQuestions for friends, couples, families and teams, in English, anywhere.
- Learn Tagalog with conversation cardsFor heritage learners, partners of Filipinos and anyone who wants to talk, not drill.
- Kumustahin and kumusta in EnglishWhat kumustahin, kumusta, kamusta and nagkumustahan mean in English, with examples.
- What is kwentuhan?The Filipino word for swapping stories, and how to start one.
- What “barkada” meansThe Filipino word for your close group of friends, explained in English.
- What “hugot” meansThe Filipino slang for lines pulled from deep feelings, usually heartbreak.
- Deep talk, the Filipino wayWhat Filipinos mean by “deep talk”, and how to say it in Tagalog.
- What “kilig” meansThe Filipino word for the giddy rush of romance, explained in English.
- What “salo-salo” meansThe Filipino word for a get-together around a shared meal.
- Tagalog terms of endearmentMahal, sinta, bes, pare, bunso and more: what Filipinos call the people they love.
- Filipino family valuesRespect, utang na loob, bayanihan and close family ties, explained without the clichés.
- Filipino Christmas traditionsFrom the ber months to Three Kings: the world’s longest Christmas season, explained.
- The 36 questions, explainedWhat the famous “36 questions to fall in love” study really found, and a gentler way to try it.
- A TableTopics alternativeLove the cube on the dinner table? Here’s how a conversation card app compares.
- A THE AND card game alternativeLove THE AND’s two-person format? Here’s a free app that plays a lot like it.
- A Where Should We Begin alternativeEsther Perel’s story game, and a conversation card app for nights it doesn’t fit.
- Conversation card games for adultsWe’re Not Really Strangers, TableTopics, THE AND, Where Should We Begin and Kumustahan, compared.
- What are conversation cards?Questions written to be asked out loud: what they are, the kinds, and how to play.
- Conversation cards for familiesWhat to look for in a family deck, and how to play with kids, teens and grandparents.
- A couples conversation card appWhat to look for in an app for two, and how to use it on date night or far apart.
- An offline party game appFor cabins, campsites, flights and basements: a pass-the-phone game that needs no signal.
The short version
Ask small, listen long.
Most conversation advice comes down to two things: ask a question that is small and specific enough to answer, and then listen to the answer instead of planning your next line. The guides here show what that looks like at a date, a dinner, a team meeting or a phone call home.
Each guide ends with real cards from Kumustahan, a conversation card app with 1,200 questions in English and Filipino. Read them from the page, or play them in the app, where 420 cards are free.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions
How do I get better at conversations?
Ask smaller, more specific questions, follow up on what people say, and let silences sit for a moment. Most people get better quickly once they stop trying to be interesting and start being interested.
What is a good question to start a conversation?
One that is easy to answer and invites a story, like what someone ate on a good day or a place that stayed with them. Avoid yes-or-no questions and anything that feels like an interview.
Do conversation cards really help?
Yes, especially in groups. A card takes the pressure off whoever would otherwise have to think of a question, and it gives quieter people a clear turn to talk.
Bring a better question to the table.
Free on iPhone and Android. 420 cards free, no account, works offline.