Questions · Friendsgiving

Friendsgiving questions for the family you picked

Conversation starters for Friendsgiving, where the table is part old friends, part roommates and part someone’s coworker who brought store-bought rolls. Questions about food, friendship and the year, in the order the night actually goes.

  • 22 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Barkada№ 57

Which ability did a friend notice in you before you noticed it yourself?

Anong galing mo ang unang napansin ng friend bago mo ito nakita sa sarili mo?

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A note

You could borrow their words to describe your ability once.

Puwede mong gamitin ang sinabi nila para ilarawan ang galing mo.

Tap to returnkumustahan

The questions

22 Friendsgiving questions

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

Potluck debates

6 questions

For when the dishes are lined up on the counter and everyone is judging the stuffing.

  1. Choose one food that tastes better when it’s left over for the next day.

    Pumili ng isang pagkain na mas masarap kapag tira siya hanggang kinabukasan.

    Back of the card

    Some food needs an overnight plot twist. Leftovers can be humble, practical, and somehow better than round one.

    May pagkain talaga na mas gumaganda kinabukasan. Simple lang siya, practical, pero minsan mas panalo pa.

  2. What food do you and a friend disagree about?

    Sa anong pagkain magkaiba ang opinyon ninyo ng friend mo?

    Back of the card

    No need to settle this food debate. You can both keep your favorites.

    Hindi kailangang matapos ang pagtatalo sa pagkain. Puwedeng pareho pa rin ninyong piliin ang gusto ninyo.

  3. Tell us a food combo you like that people might question.

    I-share yung food combo na gusto mo pero baka kuwestiyunin ng iba.

    Back of the card

    Questionable does not always mean wrong. Some pairings just need one brave person to admit they work.

    Hindi porket questionable, mali na agad. Minsan kailangan lang ng isang brave person na umaming masarap siya.

  4. What food is too messy for you to eat while chatting with friends?

    Anong pagkain ang mahirap kainin nang maayos habang nakikipagkuwentuhan sa friends?

    Back of the card

    This meal may need a pause button for the conversation.

    Baka kailangan munang i-pause ang kuwentuhan habang kinakain ito.

  5. If you were too tired to think, what would you order?

    Kapag pagod ka nang mag-isip, ano yung o-orderin mo?

    Back of the card

    The no-thinking order is its own kind of comfort. It is the choice that carries you when your brain is done.

    May comfort din sa order na hindi mo na kailangang isipin. Siya yung choice kapag ubos na utak mo.

  6. What meal with a friend became memorable for something besides the food?

    Anong kainan ninyo ng friend ang tumatak dahil sa nangyari, hindi lang dahil sa pagkain?

    Back of the card

    If this meal's story had a title, what would it be?

    Kung may pamagat ang kuwento ng kainan na ito, ano iyon?

How we all met

7 questions

Friendship origin stories, so the plus-ones learn who everyone is.

  1. How did your first impression of a friend change once you got to know them?

    Anong first impression mo sa isang friend ang nagbago nang makilala mo sila?

    Back of the card

    You can finish: “I thought they were..., then I noticed...”

    Puwedeng ituloy: “Akala ko..., tapos napansin ko...”

  2. Share the origin of an inside joke that is okay to explain.

    Ikuwento ang simula ng inside joke na okay lang ipaliwanag.

    Back of the card

    Tell only the part you have permission to share. The rest can stay an inside joke.

    Sabihin lang ang bahaging okay ibahagi. Puwedeng sa inyo na lang ang natitirang biro.

  3. What failed plan with friends turned into a good memory?

    Anong pumalpak na plano kasama ang friends ang naging masayang memory?

    Back of the card

    The failed plan can be the story's best plot twist.

    Puwedeng ang pumalpak na plano ang pinakamagandang plot twist sa kuwento.

  4. Name a place that reminds you of a funny story with friends.

    Magbanggit ng lugar na nagpapaalala ng funny story kasama ang friends.

    Back of the card

    That place gets a new name just for this story. What would it be?

    Kung papangalanan mo ang lugar ayon sa kuwentong ito, ano ang itatawag mo?

  5. Tell about a ride home with friends that you still remember.

    Magkuwento ng pag-uwi kasama ang friends na naaalala mo pa.

    Back of the card

    You could remember just the last thing someone said before you parted.

    Puwedeng balikan ang huling sinabi bago kayo naghiwa-hiwalay.

  6. Which ability did a friend notice in you before you noticed it yourself?

    Anong galing mo ang unang napansin ng friend bago mo ito nakita sa sarili mo?

    Back of the card

    You could borrow their words to describe your ability once.

    Puwede mong gamitin ang sinabi nila para ilarawan ang galing mo.

  7. Tell us about a friend who made you feel like you belonged.

    Ikuwento yung friend na nagparamdam sa'yo na belong ka.

    Back of the card

    Inclusion can happen through one seat saved, one question asked, or one person making room on purpose.

    Minsan isang upuang tinabi, isang tanong, o isang taong sinadyang magtabi ng space ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka.

Thanks, said to someone’s face

6 questions

Gratitude about the people at this table, not about life in general.

  1. Which compliment from a friend made you smile recently?

    Anong compliment mula sa friend ang nagpangiti sa'yo lately?

    Back of the card

    Did you believe it right away, or did it sink in later?

    Naniwala ka ba agad, o saka mo lang ito naramdaman?

  2. How do you usually show a friend that you care?

    Paano mo usually pinapakita sa friend na may care ka?

    Back of the card

    Care has many shapes: checking in, feeding people, remembering details, giving space, or staying when it gets inconvenient.

    Maraming itsura ang care: nangangamusta, nagpapakain, nakakaalala ng details, nagbibigay ng space, o nananatili kahit hassle.

  3. What preference of yours do close friends remember without asking?

    Anong gusto mo ang kabisado na ng close friends mo?

    Back of the card

    Imagine they had to choose it for you today. Would they still get it right?

    Kung pipili sila para sa'yo ngayon, tama pa kaya ang pipiliin nila?

  4. Which small kindness from other people do you notice right away?

    Anong small kindness mula sa ibang tao ang napapansin mo agad?

    Back of the card

    It could be someone checking in, saving you a seat, helping quietly, or remembering a small detail. The kindness you notice may be the kind you needed before.

    Puwedeng may nag-check in, nagtira ng seat, tumulong quietly, o nakaalala ng small detail. Baka yung kindness na napapansin mo ang kind na kinailangan mo dati.

  5. What is a recent act of kindness that caught you by surprise?

    Anong magandang ginawa sa'yo lately ang hindi mo inaasahan?

    Back of the card

    Keep names private if you like. Picture the instant you realized what they had done for you.

    Puwedeng itago ang mga pangalan. Balikan ang sandaling naisip mo kung ano ang ginawa nila para sa'yo.

  6. Which simple friendship tradition would you like to keep even when everyone gets busier?

    Anong nakasanayan ninyong gawin ng friends mo ang gusto mong ituloy kahit maging mas busy kayo?

    Back of the card

    What would be the easiest version to keep on a busy week?

    Ano ang pinakamadaling bersiyon nito kapag busy ang linggo?

Before the pie runs out

3 questions

A look at the year, for the late, sleepy part of the night.

  1. What goal would you like to reach and celebrate with friends?

    Anong goal ang gusto mong maabot at i-celebrate kasama ang friends?

    Back of the card

    Pick the celebration's mood: quiet, silly, or a little of both.

    Piliin ang gusto mong celebration: tahimik, makulit, o kaunti ng pareho.

  2. Which small plan are you looking forward to?

    Anong small plan ang nilu-look forward mo?

    Back of the card

    Looking forward to something simple can help a week feel kinder. Small plans are allowed to matter.

    Nakakagaan ng week kapag may simpleng nilu-look forward. Puwedeng maging mahalaga kahit maliit na plan lang.

  3. What have you done recently that you are pleased about?

    Anong nagawa mo kamakailan ang ikinatuwa mo?

    Back of the card

    If your win had a tiny trophy, what would be written on it?

    Kung may maliit na trophy ang nagawa mo, ano ang nakasulat dito?

How to use them

Before you ask

Friendsgiving works best when the questions are about the friendships themselves: how people met, which failed plan turned into a good memory, what a friend at the table always remembers about you. That’s the part of the night a family Thanksgiving can’t give you.

The tricky bit is the mixed table. Four people have known each other since college, and around them sit a new roommate, two partners and a coworker who was invited last week. If the talk is all inside jokes, the newcomers spend dinner on their phones. Start with the food, since everyone just carried a dish in and has an opinion about the stuffing. Then ask the old friends to tell their origin stories out loud, so the new ones are let in.

The gratitude round lands better at Friendsgiving than anywhere else, because the people you’re thanking are right there. Keep it specific: one compliment, one small thing a friend did this year. Nobody needs a toast.

Good for

  • Friendsgiving potlucks
  • Roommates who stayed in the city for the holiday
  • International students at their first Thanksgiving
  • Coworker Friendsgiving lunches
  • Mixed tables of old friends and plus-ones

Tips

  1. Ask people about the dish they brought before they sit down. It’s an instant, easy story.
  2. Seat a newcomer between two talkers, not at the far end next to the dessert.
  3. When an inside joke comes up, ask the friend to explain where it started.
  4. Make the gratitude round about someone at the table, and let people pass.
  5. Keep the cards by the pie. The last hour is when the good conversations happen.

Decks for this

A loose Friendsgiving run of show

You don’t need a program, but a rough order lets the host stop worrying about the conversation and enjoy the meal.

  • While dishes arrive: ask each new arrival one question about the dish they brought.
  • First plates: go around once with a food debate. Ten minutes, and everyone has talked.
  • Seconds: ask the longtime friends how they met, and let the newer people ask follow-ups.
  • Before dessert: the gratitude round, each person thanking someone specific at the table.
  • Pie and dishes: the year-end questions, for whoever is still around the coffee.

Friendsgiving

Frequently asked questions

What are good questions to ask at Friendsgiving?

Questions about food, friendship and the year: a potluck debate, how people at the table met, a compliment from a friend that stuck. They work for old friends and for plus-ones meeting the group for the first time.

How is Friendsgiving different from Thanksgiving dinner?

The people at the table chose each other, and many of them don’t share a history yet. Questions that tell the story of the friendships help newcomers in, where a family table runs on old relatives’ stories.

How do you do a gratitude round at Friendsgiving without it being cheesy?

Ask each person to thank one specific person at the table for one specific thing. It’s quicker than a speech and much better to hear.

Can we play these at the table on a phone?

Yes. They come from the free Kumustahan app. Pick the Friends and Getting to know decks, keep it light, and pass the phone between courses.

Bring a better question to the table.

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