Guide · Alternatives

An alternative to THE AND card game, on your phone

THE AND turned two people asking each other honest questions into something people film, share and play at home. If you love that format but want a free way to start, or decks for more than two, here’s how Kumustahan compares.

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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Couples№ 40

What is one little promise we keep well?

Ano yung maliit na promise na maayos nating natutupad?

Tap to flipkumustahan

A note

Trust grows through small kept promises. Seeing them clearly can make reliability feel less invisible.

Lumalaki ang trust sa maliliit na promises na natutupad. Kapag nakita ang mga ito, hindi na invisible ang reliability.

Tap to returnkumustahan

In short

The idea

A disclosure first: we make Kumustahan, so read this with that in mind. We describe THE AND only as its maker does.

THE AND comes from The Skin Deep, which describes itself as an Emmy-award-winning experience design studio exploring human connection. Its conversation card games include Couples, Long-Term Couples, Friends, Family and Dating editions. The way to play, in the maker’s words, is simple: sit close, pick twelve cards, take turns reading and answering, and be honest; you can pass. Kumustahan is a conversation card app with a free Couples deck and six more decks for friends, families and groups, where you choose how deep to go.

Tips

Sit close with the phone between you.
Decide on a number of cards before you start.
Both of you answer every card.
Read the reflection on the back before moving on.
Skip freely; the harder cards can wait for another night.

Decks for this

Side by side

As each is described by its maker (checked October 2026).

THE AND and Kumustahan compared
	THE AND	Kumustahan
Format	Physical card games	App for iPhone and Android
Made for	Two people face to face	Two people or a group passing the phone
Editions or decks	Couples, Long-Term Couples, Friends, Family, Dating and more	Couples, Getting to know, Just for fun, Reflect, Barkada, Icebreakers, Lifegroup & Faith
How deep it goes	Set by the edition	Keep it light, Open up or Go deeper in setup
Languages	English	English and Filipino on every card
To start	Buy an edition	The Couples deck’s cards are free, no account

Which fits you?

Choose THE AND if you want a physical deck to give as a gift, you love its videos and style of question, or you want a specific edition like Long-Term Couples.
Choose Kumustahan if you want to start free tonight, play with more than two people sometimes, control how deep each session goes, or play in English and Filipino.
Use both if you like: a paper deck for an anniversary, the app for an ordinary Tuesday.

Playing Kumustahan the two-person way

You can play the app much like a two-person card game. Sit close, put the phone between you, and choose the Couples deck (or Getting to know for a friend). Take turns reading the card aloud and answering. After you both answer, flip it and read the short reflection on the back. Skip any card, any time.

If you want a fixed length, decide on a number before you start, say twelve cards, and stop there even if it’s going well. Ending on a good card is part of the charm.

What stays private

There’s no account. Favorites and notes you write on a card stay on your phone, unless you turn on backup to your own iCloud or Google account. The app doesn’t send your notes or your answers anywhere.

The questions

Questions for two, from Kumustahan

Real cards from the app’s free Couples deck and the Barkada (friends) deck. Sit close, take turns, and pass whenever you want.

For a couple, to start

5 questions

From the Couples deck: easy and warm.

What little thing do I do that makes ordinary days feel better?

Ano sa maliliit kong ginagawa ang nagpapagaan ng ordinary days natin?

Back of the card

Small care counts because it repeats. Naming it helps both of you notice the quiet ways love already shows up.
Mahalaga yung maliit na care kasi paulit-ulit siya. Kapag nasabi, mas napapansin ninyo kung paano lumalabas ang love sa ordinary days.
What was one early moment that made you feel comfortable with me?

Ano yung nangyare lately na naging comfortable ka sa akin?

Back of the card

Early comfort often says a lot about what still matters now: safety, humor, patience, or being easy to talk to.
Maraming sinasabi ang early comfort tungkol sa mahalaga pa rin ngayon: safety, humor, patience, o gaan kausap.
What kind of greeting from me makes you feel most welcomed?

Anong klaseng bati mula sa akin ang pinaka-nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka?

Back of the card

The way you greet each other matters. Even a small hello can make coming back to each other feel warmer.
Mahalaga kung paano ninyo binabati ang isa't isa. Kahit simpleng hello, puwedeng gawing mas warm ang pagbalik ninyo sa isa't isa.
What playful little habit of ours do you hope we keep?

Ano yung maliit na playful habit natin na sana hindi mawala?

Back of the card

Play helps protect a relationship from becoming only serious, busy, or practical with each other.
Nakakatulong ang play para hindi lang maging seryoso, busy, o practical ang relationship ninyo.
What is one little promise we keep well?

Ano yung maliit na promise na maayos nating natutupad?

Back of the card

Trust grows through small kept promises. Seeing them clearly can make reliability feel less invisible.
Lumalaki ang trust sa maliliit na promises na natutupad. Kapag nakita ang mga ito, hindi na invisible ang reliability.

For a couple, going further

6 questions

Honest check-ins, still gentle.

What makes you feel like I am really paying attention to you?

Ano yung nagpaparamdam sa'yo na talagang nakikinig at attentive ako?

Back of the card

Attention feels like love when it feels personal. Specific examples help your partner know what to keep doing.
Mas ramdam ang love kapag personal ang attention. Kapag specific ang example, mas alam ng partner mo kung ano ang ipagpapatuloy.
When you are stressed, what signs do you wish I noticed sooner?

Kapag stressed ka, anong signs ang sana mas napapansin ko agad?

Back of the card

Stress can show up as silence, busyness, or short replies. Knowing the signs helps your support arrive earlier.
Minsan lumalabas ang stress sa tahimik, busy, o maikling sagot. Kapag alam mo ang signs, mas maagang dumarating ang support.
When we are around other people, what makes you feel seen by me?

Kapag may ibang tao sa paligid, ano yung nagpaparamdam sa'yo na napapansin pa rin kita?

Back of the card

Being seen around others can feel deeply reassuring. It shows your connection still matters, even when people are watching.
Nakakapanatag kapag ramdam mong nakikita ka kahit may ibang tao. Pinapakita nito na mahalaga pa rin ang connection ninyo, kahit may nakakakita.
What kind of tone from me helps you stay open when the topic is hard?

Anong klaseng tono mula sa akin ang tumutulong sa'yo manatiling open kapag hard ang topic?

Back of the card

Tone can open or close a conversation before the words fully land. Being gentle does not mean being unclear.
Puwedeng magbukas o magsara ang tono bago pa lubos marinig ang sinasabi. Hindi ibig sabihin na unclear kapag gentle.
What has gotten better in the way we talk to each other?

Ano yung mas gumanda sa paraan natin mag-usap?

Back of the card

Improvement deserves to be noticed. It gives both of you proof that change is possible and worth continuing.
Dapat napapansin ang improvement. Nagbibigay ito sa inyong dalawa ng proof na possible ang change at worth it ipagpatuloy.
What kind of consistency from me helps you feel more secure in us?

Anong klaseng consistency mula sa akin ang tumutulong sa'yo maging mas secure sa atin?

Back of the card

Trust often grows through patterns, not one big moment. Naming the pattern helps your partner know what steadiness feels like to you.
Madalas lumalalim ang trust sa patterns, hindi sa isang big moment lang. Kapag napangalanan ang pattern, mas alam ng partner mo kung ano ang steady para sa'yo.

For two friends

5 questions

From the Barkada deck, for a one-on-one.

Which ability did a friend notice in you before you noticed it yourself?

Anong galing mo ang unang napansin ng friend bago mo ito nakita sa sarili mo?

Back of the card

You could borrow their words to describe your ability once.
Puwede mong gamitin ang sinabi nila para ilarawan ang galing mo.
What makes an apology from a friend feel sincere to you?

Paano mo nalalaman na talagang sorry ang friend sa nangyari?

Back of the card

Would it still feel sincere if they used different words?
Ramdam mo pa rin bang talagang sorry sila kung iba ang sinabi nila?
How would you want a friend to tell you that something you did bothered them?

Paano mo gustong sabihin ng friend na may ginawa kang hindi nila nagustuhan?

Back of the card

You can imagine a simple example. Would you prefer a message or a private talk?
Puwedeng simpleng halimbawa lang. Mas gusto mo ba ng message o pribadong usapan?
How did your first impression of a friend change once you got to know them?

Anong first impression mo sa isang friend ang nagbago nang makilala mo sila?

Back of the card

You can finish: “I thought they were..., then I noticed...”
Puwedeng ituloy: “Akala ko..., tapos napansin ko...”
If you and a friend talk less often, what would you want to ask them?

Kung bihira na kayong mag-usap ng friend, ano ang gusto mong itanong sa kanila?

Back of the card

Would you ask now or wait for a quieter time to talk?
Itatanong mo ba ngayon o hihintayin mong mas tahimik ang oras ng usapan?

A THE AND card game alternative

Frequently asked questions

What is a good alternative to THE AND card game?

For a free start on your phone, Kumustahan has a Couples deck plus decks for friends and groups, with depths you choose. For a physical gift, another printed deck may suit you better.

Is there a free couples question game like THE AND?

Kumustahan’s Couples deck is free in the app, with no account. You take turns answering, flip the card for a short reflection, and skip any card you like.

Can you play conversation card games with just two people?

Yes. Most work well for two: sit close, take turns reading and answering, and agree that either of you can pass.

Bring a better question to the table.

Free on iPhone and Android. 420 cards free, no account, works offline.