Questions · New friends

Questions to ask a new friend once the small talk runs out

Questions for a friendship that’s just starting: easy ones for the next hangout, who they were before you met, how they like to be a friend, and a few for when it starts to feel easy.

  • 17 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Getting to know№ 28

When you were younger, what got you excited quickly?

Nung bata ka, ano yung madaling maka-excite sa'yo?

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A note

Early excitement can be fun to remember. It can also show what kind of wonder came naturally to you.

Nakakatuwang balikan yung madaling ika-excite mo dati. Minsan pinapakita rin nito kung anong klaseng wonder ang natural sa'yo.

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The questions

17 questions to ask a new friend

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

The next hangout

5 questions

Interests and places that turn into your next plan.

  1. Name a new interest a friend might be surprised you enjoy.

    Magbanggit ng bagong hilig mo na baka ikagulat ng friend.

    Back of the card

    You could open with: “I never thought I'd enjoy this, but...”

    Puwedeng magsimula sa “Hindi ko akalaing magugustuhan ko ito, pero...”

  2. What fun activity would you like to introduce your friends to?

    Anong masayang activity ang gusto mong ipakilala sa friends?

    Back of the card

    Imagine their first try going wrong in a harmless, funny way.

    Isipin na may simpleng sablay sa unang pagsubok nila na puwede ninyong pagtawanan.

  3. Choose a nearby place you would like to explore with a friend.

    Pumili ng malapit na lugar na gusto mong puntahan kasama ang friend.

    Back of the card

    Imagine finding an unexpected favorite corner there.

    Isipin na may makikita kang sulok doon na magiging paborito mo.

  4. What would you like to watch with a friend?

    Ano ang gusto mong panoorin kasama ang friend?

    Back of the card

    Talking through the whole thing or saving comments until the end?

    Kuwentuhan habang nanonood o comments pagkatapos na lang?

  5. If you and your friends had just one free hour, how would you spend it together?

    Kung isang oras lang kayong lahat libre, ano ang gagawin ninyo?

    Back of the card

    Save a few minutes at the end for one thing you would not want to rush.

    Puwede kang maglaan ng ilang minuto sa dulo para sa bagay na ayaw mong madaliin.

Before you knew each other

5 questions

Their childhood, their old friends, the songs from back then.

  1. Back when you were a kid, what game or activity could keep you busy for hours?

    Nung bata ka, anong laro o activity ang kaya mong pagkaabalahan nang ilang oras?

    Back of the card

    Childhood focus has its own sweetness. It remembers a time when getting lost in play was enough.

    May sariling saya yung focus nung bata tayo. Naalala nito yung panahon na sapat na ang maglaro nang maglaro.

  2. When you were younger, what got you excited quickly?

    Nung bata ka, ano yung madaling maka-excite sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Early excitement can be fun to remember. It can also show what kind of wonder came naturally to you.

    Nakakatuwang balikan yung madaling ika-excite mo dati. Minsan pinapakita rin nito kung anong klaseng wonder ang natural sa'yo.

  3. Which song takes you back to a particular time with friends?

    Anong kanta ang nagpapaalala sa'yo ng isang panahon ninyo ng friends mo?

    Back of the card

    Picture where everyone was when the song came on.

    Isipin kung nasaan ang lahat noong tumugtog ang kanta.

  4. Name a place that reminds you of a funny story with friends.

    Magbanggit ng lugar na nagpapaalala ng funny story kasama ang friends.

    Back of the card

    That place gets a new name just for this story. What would it be?

    Kung papangalanan mo ang lugar ayon sa kuwentong ito, ano ang itatawag mo?

  5. If you had one free hour every week, what hobby would you go back to?

    Kung may isang free hour ka every week, anong hobby ang babalikan mo?

    Back of the card

    A hobby you miss can point to a part of you that still wants some space.

    Yung hobby na nami-miss mo minsan tumuturo sa part ng sarili mo na gusto pa rin ng konting space.

How they like to be a friend

4 questions

Learn it early and you’ll get it right later.

  1. When joining friends for an activity, what helps you feel included?

    Kapag may activity ang friends, ano ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka rin?

    Back of the card

    Being invited and being able to join are not always the same thing.

    Hindi laging pareho ang niyayaya ka at ang kaya mong sumali.

  2. After a tiring day, would you rather get a funny message, a call, or a quiet hangout?

    Pagkatapos ng nakakapagod na araw, mas gusto mo ba ng funny message, tawag, o tahimik na bonding?

    Back of the card

    Choose the first five minutes: a little catching up, a little laughter, or no talking yet.

    Piliin ang unang limang minuto: kumustahan, tawanan, o wala munang usapan.

  3. Which simple hangout with a friend would you happily repeat?

    Anong simpleng bonding kasama ang friend ang gusto mong ulitin?

    Back of the card

    Same place, same activity, different weather. Would you still choose it?

    Parehong lugar at gagawin, pero iba ang panahon. Pipiliin mo pa rin ba ito?

  4. What small task would you happily ask a friend to help with?

    Sa anong simpleng gawain mo gustong magpatulong sa friend?

    Back of the card

    Would their help save time, make it more fun, or simply give you company?

    Makakatipid ba ng oras ang tulong nila, mas magiging masaya, o magkakaroon ka lang ng kasama?

When it starts to feel easy

3 questions

For the hangout that runs longer than planned.

  1. Recall a moment when talking to a new friend started to feel easy.

    Kailan ka nagsimulang maging komportable sa pakikipagkuwentuhan sa bago mong friend?

    Back of the card

    Remember the first thing you no longer felt shy about saying.

    Balikan ang unang bagay na hindi ka na nahiyang sabihin.

  2. Tell us about a friend who made you feel like you belonged.

    Ikuwento yung friend na nagparamdam sa'yo na belong ka.

    Back of the card

    Inclusion can happen through one seat saved, one question asked, or one person making room on purpose.

    Minsan isang upuang tinabi, isang tanong, o isang taong sinadyang magtabi ng space ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka.

  3. Plan a hangout that a friend could bring a new friend to.

    Kung magsasama ng bagong friend ang kaibigan mo, anong bonding ang ipa-plano mo?

    Back of the card

    Imagine the newcomer knows none of your old jokes. Your activity can still work.

    Isipin na hindi alam ng bagong kasama ang dating mga biro ninyo. Puwede pa ring maging masaya ang activity.

How to use them

Before you ask

A new friendship moves forward on questions a little more personal than small talk and nowhere near a heart-to-heart. You’ve met, you got along, maybe you swapped numbers. Now comes the awkward stretch where you like each other but don’t yet know what to talk about.

Ask about things you could do together: a place nearby to explore, something to watch, an activity they’d love to introduce you to. Those answers become your next plan. Then ask who they were before you met. A childhood game or a song from an old era tells you more than a job title, and people enjoy explaining it.

The third group is the most useful and the one people skip. How someone wants to hear from you after a tiring day, what helps them feel included, which small favor they’d ask a friend for: knowing that early saves a lot of misread messages.

Good for

  • Second and third hangouts
  • Coffee with someone from a class or event
  • Walks and errands together
  • New friends in a new city
  • Texting between hangouts

Tips

  1. Turn answers into plans. If they mention a place, suggest going.
  2. Share at the same depth they do; don’t jump ahead.
  3. Ask one thing about their past each time you meet, not ten at once.
  4. Remember how they like to be contacted, and use it.

Decks for this

New friends

Frequently asked questions

What questions should you ask a new friend?

Questions about things you could do together, who they were before you met, and how they like to be a friend, such as what helps them feel included or how they want friends to react to good news.

How do you get closer to a new friend?

Hang out regularly, ask slightly more personal questions each time, match their depth with your own answers, and turn what they tell you into plans.

What should you talk about with a new friend?

Interests, places nearby, things to watch, childhood stories and small preferences. Leave heavier topics until they bring them up.

Bring a better question to the table.

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