Questions · Friendship questions
Friendship questions about what friends mean to you
Questions about friendship itself: the small habits of a good friend, how you make up after a misunderstanding, and how friendships change as everyone gets busier.
- 27 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
What makes an apology from a friend feel sincere to you?
Paano mo nalalaman na talagang sorry ang friend sa nangyari?
Would it still feel sincere if they used different words?
Ramdam mo pa rin bang talagang sorry sila kung iba ang sinabi nila?
The questions
27 questions about friendship
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
The small habits of friendship
8 questions
What your friends remember, how you like good news met, what helps you feel included.
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What preference of yours do close friends remember without asking?
Anong gusto mo ang kabisado na ng close friends mo?
Back of the card
Imagine they had to choose it for you today. Would they still get it right?
Kung pipili sila para sa'yo ngayon, tama pa kaya ang pipiliin nila?
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How would you like friends to react when you share good news?
Paano mo gustong mag-react ang friends kapag may good news ka?
Back of the card
A loud cheer or a quiet “I'm happy for you” — which fits this news?
Malakas na cheer o tahimik na “Masaya ako para sa'yo” — alin ang bagay sa balitang ito?
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What kind of message from a friend is easy for you to reply to?
Anong message mula sa friend ang madali mong sagutin?
Back of the card
You could write an example with no names or real chat details.
Puwede kang gumawa ng halimbawa na walang pangalan o detalye ng totoong chat.
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How can friends tell when you are excited about something?
Paano nahahalata ng friends na excited ka sa isang bagay?
Back of the card
Think of the sign you notice in yourself before anyone else does.
Isipin ang senyales na napapansin mo sa sarili mo bago pa mapansin ng iba.
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When joining friends for an activity, what helps you feel included?
Kapag may activity ang friends, ano ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka rin?
Back of the card
Being invited and being able to join are not always the same thing.
Hindi laging pareho ang niyayaya ka at ang kaya mong sumali.
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What simple invitation could brighten a friend's ordinary day?
Anong simpleng yaya ang puwedeng magpasaya sa normal na araw ng friend?
Back of the card
Keep the invitation short enough to send as one message.
Puwedeng maikli lang ang yaya, kasya sa isang message.
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Which simple friendship tradition would you like to keep even when everyone gets busier?
Anong nakasanayan ninyong gawin ng friends mo ang gusto mong ituloy kahit maging mas busy kayo?
Back of the card
What would be the easiest version to keep on a busy week?
Ano ang pinakamadaling bersiyon nito kapag busy ang linggo?
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What harmless habit of a friend have you come to enjoy?
Anong habit ng friend ang mas nagugustuhan mo habang tumatagal?
Back of the card
Was it something you liked immediately or grew to like?
Nagustuhan mo ba agad o nasanay ka muna bago mo nagustuhan?
Speaking up and making up
7 questions
Gentle questions about apologies, jokes and the things that bother you.
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What makes an apology from a friend feel sincere to you?
Paano mo nalalaman na talagang sorry ang friend sa nangyari?
Back of the card
Would it still feel sincere if they used different words?
Ramdam mo pa rin bang talagang sorry sila kung iba ang sinabi nila?
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How would you want a friend to tell you that something you did bothered them?
Paano mo gustong sabihin ng friend na may ginawa kang hindi nila nagustuhan?
Back of the card
You can imagine a simple example. Would you prefer a message or a private talk?
Puwedeng simpleng halimbawa lang. Mas gusto mo ba ng message o pribadong usapan?
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After you and a friend disagree, what helps things feel okay again?
Pagkatapos ninyong hindi magkasundo ng friend, ano ang nakakatulong para maging okay ulit kayo?
Back of the card
You can notice a small improvement without calling everything fixed.
Puwedeng mapansin na may umaayos kahit hindi pa okay ang lahat.
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How can a friend tell when a joke has stopped being fun for you?
Paano malalaman ng friend na hindi na masaya para sa'yo ang biro?
Back of the card
You can say the signal without explaining the whole joke.
Puwedeng senyales lang ang sabihin, hindi ang buong biro.
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What should friends ask your permission to do?
Ano ang dapat munang ipagpaalam sa'yo ng friends?
Back of the card
Your permission can depend on the situation; closeness does not make every answer a yes.
Puwedeng depende sa sitwasyon ang pahintulot mo; kahit close kayo, hindi laging oo ang sagot.
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What could you say to a quiet friend after a misunderstanding?
Ano ang puwede mong sabihin sa tahimik na friend matapos kayong hindi magkaintindihan?
Back of the card
You can leave them room to answer later.
Puwede mo silang bigyan ng oras bago sumagot.
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What habit makes a small disagreement with a friend worse?
Anong habit ang nagpapalala sa simpleng hindi pagkakasundo ninyo ng friend?
Back of the card
Talk about the habit, not which friend does it.
Habit ang pag-usapan, hindi kung sinong friend ang gumagawa nito.
How friendships change
7 questions
First impressions, distance and the friends you don’t see as often.
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Recall a moment when talking to a new friend started to feel easy.
Kailan ka nagsimulang maging komportable sa pakikipagkuwentuhan sa bago mong friend?
Back of the card
Remember the first thing you no longer felt shy about saying.
Balikan ang unang bagay na hindi ka na nahiyang sabihin.
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How did your first impression of a friend change once you got to know them?
Anong first impression mo sa isang friend ang nagbago nang makilala mo sila?
Back of the card
You can finish: “I thought they were..., then I noticed...”
Puwedeng ituloy: “Akala ko..., tapos napansin ko...”
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Picture meeting an old friend after a few years. What would you want to do together first?
Isipin na nagkita kayo ng dating friend makalipas ang ilang taon. Ano ang una mong gustong gawin ninyo?
Back of the card
You could begin with the most ordinary thing you used to do together.
Puwedeng magsimula sa pinakasimpleng dati ninyong ginagawa nang magkasama.
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If you and a friend talk less often, what would you want to ask them?
Kung bihira na kayong mag-usap ng friend, ano ang gusto mong itanong sa kanila?
Back of the card
Would you ask now or wait for a quieter time to talk?
Itatanong mo ba ngayon o hihintayin mong mas tahimik ang oras ng usapan?
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Choose a short message you could send a friend you have not talked to lately.
Kung hindi mo nakakausap lately ang isang friend, anong maikling message ang ipapadala mo?
Back of the card
The first message does not need to contain the whole catch-up.
Hindi kailangang nasa unang message ang buong kumustahan.
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What could you and a faraway friend enjoy doing together online?
Kung nasa malayo ang friend mo, ano ang puwede ninyong gawin online na pareho ninyong mae-enjoy?
Back of the card
Choose a little ritual to start it: the same greeting, the same song, or your own idea.
Puwedeng may nakasanayan kayong panimula: parehong bati, parehong kanta, o sarili ninyong ideya.
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How could you help a friend who was new to a school or neighborhood?
Paano mo matutulungan ang friend na bago sa isang school o lugar?
Back of the card
Being shown where things are or having someone stay nearby — either might help.
Puwedeng makatulong ang ituro kung nasaan ang mga bagay o ang samahan lang sila.
What friends see in you
5 questions
For two friends with time, or a small group that trusts each other.
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What are you good at that your friends rarely get to see?
Saan ka magaling na bihirang makita ng friends mo?
Back of the card
Imagine a friend seeing you do it for the first time.
Isipin na unang nakita ng friend kung paano mo ito ginagawa.
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What playful side of you comes out around close friends?
Anong makulit na side mo ang lumalabas kapag kasama ang close friends?
Back of the card
You do not have to perform it here. A description is enough.
Hindi kailangang gawin iyon dito. Sapat nang ikuwento.
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What makes sharing a quiet moment with a friend comfortable for you?
Ano ang nagpapakomportable sa'yo kapag tahimik lang kayo ng friend?
Back of the card
The silence can stay silent. You do not need to fill it for this answer.
Puwedeng manatiling tahimik. Hindi kailangang punuin ng usapan para sa sagot na ito.
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Who is a friend you can sit quietly with without it feeling awkward?
Sino yung friend na kaya mong samahan nang tahimik without it feeling awkward?
Back of the card
Comfortable quiet is its own kind of closeness. It means the friendship does not always need talking, joking, or trying hard.
May closeness din sa tahimik na hindi awkward. Ibig sabihin, hindi laging kailangang magsalita, magpatawa, o mag-effort nang todo.
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Which ability did a friend notice in you before you noticed it yourself?
Anong galing mo ang unang napansin ng friend bago mo ito nakita sa sarili mo?
Back of the card
You could borrow their words to describe your ability once.
Puwede mong gamitin ang sinabi nila para ilarawan ang galing mo.
How to use them
Before you ask
Friends rarely talk about the friendship itself. You talk about work, plans and other people, and the things that actually hold a friendship together go unsaid: how you like to be cheered on, what makes an apology feel real, what you would want to ask a friend you’ve drifted from. These questions bring those things into the open, gently.
Most of them come from the Barkada deck, named for the Filipino word for your close group of friends. They work for any group that already likes each other: college roommates, a book club, the friends you’ve had since school. Start with the small habits, which are light and often funny. The questions about making up are best one-on-one or in a small, trusted group.
Use them to know a newer friend better, or to say something to an old one that you’ve never quite said. If it’s a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, reconnecting with an old friend has ideas for the first message. For a whole night of friend questions, play the Barkada deck.
Good for
Tips
- Ask the light habits questions in a group; save the making-up ones for two people.
- Answer honestly about yourself before asking a friend to.
- If a question brings up an old hurt, listen first and fix nothing.
- Tell a friend what you noticed in them. People rarely hear it.
- You can always pass a card. Friendship is not a quiz.
Decks for this
Friendship questions
Frequently asked questions
What are good questions to ask about friendship?
Questions about how you like to be supported, what makes an apology feel sincere, and how a friendship has changed over time. They help friends say things they usually leave unsaid.
What are deep questions to ask your friends?
Ask what they would want to ask you if you talked less often, or which ability they noticed in you before you did. Ask them when there is time to listen, and let them answer at whatever depth feels right.
How do you talk to a friend about something that bothered you?
Pick a calm moment, describe what happened rather than what they are like, and ask how they would want to hear it if it were the other way around. Questions about apologies and disagreements make that talk easier to start.
What does barkada mean?
Barkada is the Filipino word for a close group of friends. Kumustahan’s Barkada deck is a set of friendship questions in English and Tagalog.
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