Tips · DIY
How to make a question jar your family will actually use
A question jar is the simplest conversation tool there is: a jar on the table, a slip of paper, one question. Here’s how to make one that lasts more than a week.
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Tell us about a place that left a memory or feeling you still carry.
Ikuwento yung lugar na may iniwang memory o feeling na dala mo pa rin.
Some places stay with us quietly. You may not notice it right away, but later you realize you carried something from there.
May mga lugar na tahimik lang ang iniiwan sa atin. Hindi mo agad napapansin, pero may dala ka pala mula roon.
In short
The idea
A question jar is a jar full of folded slips, each with one conversation question, kept somewhere you gather. Someone pulls a slip, reads it aloud and everyone answers. It works for family dinners, couples, roommates and classrooms, and it takes about thirty minutes to make.
The secret to one that lasts: write questions that everyone at your table can answer, color-code them by depth, and refill the jar before it runs dry.
Good for
Tips
- Use three paper colors for three depths.
- Write every slip so everyone at your table can answer it.
- Let the kids write some of the questions.
- Whoever pulls the slip answers last.
- Move used slips to a second jar and refill monthly.
Decks for this
What you need
- A clear jar with a wide mouth (mason jars work well)
- Paper in three colors, cut into strips about 1 by 4 inches
- A fine marker or pen
- A label or tag for the jar
- Optional: a second, smaller jar for the questions you’ve used
Color-code by depth
Using three colors lets whoever picks choose the mood. Green slips are quick and silly, yellow slips ask for a story, and blue slips go a little deeper. On a tired Tuesday, pull green. On a slow Sunday, try blue.
| Color | Kind of question | When to pull one |
|---|---|---|
| Green | Quick, silly, this-or-that | Weeknights, with young kids, with guests |
| Yellow | Stories and memories | Weekend dinners, long drives |
| Blue | Deeper, reflective | Small, unhurried tables |
Rules for writing the slips
- Everyone can answer it. If your table includes a six-year-old and a grandparent, write for both.
- One question per slip, one sentence long.
- No yes-or-no questions. “Do you like summer?” becomes “What’s the best part of summer?”
- Nothing that could embarrass someone in front of the others.
- Let the kids write some. Their questions are often the best ones in the jar.
Where to keep it, and how to use it
Keep the jar where you gather: the middle of the dinner table, the kitchen counter, a shelf by the couch. A jar in a cupboard gets forgotten. Make one rule: whoever pulls the slip answers last, so they get to hear everyone else first.
Variations work well too. A couples jar on the nightstand, a classroom jar for morning meetings, a party jar by the drinks, a gratitude jar where every slip starts with something good.
Keep it fresh
Move used slips to the second jar. Once a month, read through them and put the favorites back. Add a few new ones each time; holidays and birthdays are a good reminder. If writing questions isn’t your thing, copy some from this page or the printable cards, or let an app be your jar.
The questions
Questions to put in your jar
Real cards from the app, sorted by the three colors. Copy them onto your slips.
Green: quick and silly
6 questions
For weeknights and young kids.
-
Create a new holiday that everyone gets to celebrate. What happens that day?
Gumawa ng bagong holiday na puwedeng i-celebrate ng lahat. Ano ang ginagawa sa araw na iyon?
Back of the card
What tradition would belong to your holiday?
Anong tradisyon ang bagay sa holiday mo?
-
Choose a fake job title that fits your personality.
Pumili ng fake job title na bagay sa personality mo.
Back of the card
A fake title can be more accurate than a real one. It gives a playful name to the thing people already notice.
Minsan mas accurate pa ang fake title kaysa real one. Binibigyan lang niya ng playful name yung napapansin na ng tao.
-
You receive one free round-trip ticket. Where are you going first?
May libre kang round-trip ticket. Saan ka pupunta?
Back of the card
Choose one thing you would want to do before flying home.
Pumili ng isang gusto mong gawin bago bumiyahe pauwi.
-
Describe your favorite quiet moment at home in one sentence.
I-describe in one sentence yung favorite mong tahimik na moment sa bahay.
Back of the card
Quiet at home can be its own kind of treat. Sometimes the best part is that nothing needs to happen.
Yung tahimik sa bahay, treat din minsan. Minsan best part na yung walang kailangang mangyari.
-
Make one harmless rule that the whole world follows for a day.
Kung may isang rule na susundin ng buong mundo nang isang araw, ano iyon? Dapat walang masasaktan.
Back of the card
Imagine everyone following it at once. What small scene would be funny or helpful to watch?
Isipin na sabay-sabay itong ginagawa ng lahat. Ano ang nakakatawa o helpful na makikita mo?
-
With an unlimited budget, what extra room would you add to your home?
Kung walang limit ang budget, anong dagdag na kuwarto ang gusto mo sa bahay?
Back of the card
If the new room had a sign on its door, what would it say?
Kung may karatula sa pinto ng bagong kuwarto, ano ang nakasulat doon?
Yellow: tell us a story
5 questions
For weekend dinners.
-
Tell us about a place that left a memory or feeling you still carry.
Ikuwento yung lugar na may iniwang memory o feeling na dala mo pa rin.
Back of the card
Some places stay with us quietly. You may not notice it right away, but later you realize you carried something from there.
May mga lugar na tahimik lang ang iniiwan sa atin. Hindi mo agad napapansin, pero may dala ka pala mula roon.
-
Tell about a ride home with friends that you still remember.
Magkuwento ng pag-uwi kasama ang friends na naaalala mo pa.
Back of the card
You could remember just the last thing someone said before you parted.
Puwedeng balikan ang huling sinabi bago kayo naghiwa-hiwalay.
-
Back when you were a kid, what game or activity could keep you busy for hours?
Nung bata ka, anong laro o activity ang kaya mong pagkaabalahan nang ilang oras?
Back of the card
Childhood focus has its own sweetness. It remembers a time when getting lost in play was enough.
May sariling saya yung focus nung bata tayo. Naalala nito yung panahon na sapat na ang maglaro nang maglaro.
-
Finish this: our barkada or family always laughs when ___.
Tapusin yung line: Laging nauuwi sa tawanan kapag ___.
Back of the card
Shared laughter becomes part of a group's language. Sometimes one unfinished sentence is enough to bring everyone back there.
Yung shared laughter, nagiging sariling language ng group. Minsan isang bitin na sentence lang, gets na agad.
-
Recall the last time you tried something new just because you were curious.
Ikuwento ang huling beses na sumubok ka ng bago dahil curious ka lang.
Back of the card
Would you try it again, or was once enough?
Susubukan mo ba ulit, o sapat na ang minsan?
Blue: a little deeper
4 questions
For small, unhurried tables.
-
Where do you feel pulled in two directions?
Saan mo nararamdaman na hinihila ka sa dalawang direction?
Back of the card
Feeling pulled does not mean you are weak. It may mean two real things are asking for your attention.
Hindi ibig sabihin mahina ka kapag nahihila sa dalawang direction. Baka dalawang totoong bagay lang ang humihingi ng pansin.
-
When do you usually feel fully present in the moment, like during rest, work, prayer, conversation, or play?
Kailan mo usually nararamdaman na fully present ka sa moment, like kapag nagpapahinga, nagwo-work, nagpe-pray, may kausap, o naglalaro?
Back of the card
Presence often has a pattern. The moments when you feel fully there can point toward what helps you feel whole.
May pattern din ang pagiging present. Yung moments na nandun ka talaga, puwedeng magturo kung ano ang nagpapabuong muli sa'yo.
-
If a friend asked what matters to you lately, what is the first thing you would mention?
Kung tanungin ka ng friend kung ano ang importante sa'yo lately, ano yung una mong sasabihin?
Back of the card
You do not have to list everything. Starting with one honest thing is already enough for a real answer.
Hindi mo kailangang ilista lahat. Sapat na magsimula sa isang honest na bagay para maging totoong sagot.
-
Which ability did a friend notice in you before you noticed it yourself?
Anong galing mo ang unang napansin ng friend bago mo ito nakita sa sarili mo?
Back of the card
You could borrow their words to describe your ability once.
Puwede mong gamitin ang sinabi nila para ilarawan ang galing mo.
How to make a question jar
Frequently asked questions
What is a question jar?
A jar of folded slips, each with one conversation question. At dinner or any gathering, someone pulls a slip, reads it aloud, and everyone answers.
What questions should I put in a question jar?
Questions everyone at your table can answer that can’t be answered with yes or no: quick silly ones, story questions about memories, and a few deeper ones. Color-code them by depth.
How many questions should be in a question jar?
Start with 40 to 60. That’s enough for weeks of dinners without repeats, and you can refill it as you go.
Bring a better question to the table.
Free on iPhone and Android. 420 cards free, no account, works offline.