Questions · Balikbayan

Questions for a balikbayan homecoming, after the box is open

A balikbayan is a Filipino coming home from abroad, and the homecoming has a script: the crowd at arrivals, the balikbayan box, the feast. These questions are for what comes after the script, when the family realizes how much happened in the years apart.

  • 16 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Getting to know№ 05

Who knows what you like, and what do they usually get right for you?

Sino yung alam ang gusto mo, at ano yung madalas nilang natatama para sa'yo?

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A note

Being known can feel ordinary like that. Someone remembers your usual, your no-thanks, or the thing you always reach for.

Minsan ganun kasimple yung feeling na kilala ka. May nakakaalala ng usual mo, ayaw mo, o lagi mong pinipili.

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The questions

16 questions for when a balikbayan comes home

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

While the box is being opened

4 questions

Light, funny and about the small things people brought and missed.

  1. Pick one small item you use often that makes life feel a little easier.

    Pumili ng isang small item na madalas mong gamitin at nagpapagaan ng life kahit konti.

    Back of the card

    Small useful things can feel quietly heroic. They make the day easier without asking for attention.

    May small useful things na quietly heroic. Pinapadali nila yung araw nang hindi nagpapapansin, kahit simple lang sila.

  2. Name one small, specific thing you enjoy more than people expect.

    Magbanggit ng isang maliit at specific na bagay na mas enjoy mo kaysa ina-expect ng iba.

    Back of the card

    Specific joys can be tiny clues about a person. They do not need to make sense to everyone to be real.

    Yung specific joys, maliit na clue tungkol sa tao. Hindi kailangan gets ng lahat para maging real.

  3. Pick one small mood upgrade, like a drink, song, scent, snack, or clean space.

    Pumili ng isang small mood upgrade, like drink, song, scent, snack, o malinis na space.

    Back of the card

    A mood upgrade does not need to be big. Sometimes one small detail is enough to change the angle of the day.

    Hindi kailangang malaki ang mood upgrade. Minsan isang small detail lang, nag-iiba na yung angle ng araw.

  4. If someone were choosing a snack or drink for you, what’s one choice that would almost always work?

    Kung may pipili ng snack o drink para sa'yo, ano yung halos laging okay sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Tiny preferences can be an easy way to know someone better. It feels good when people remember the simple things.

    Minsan sa small preferences tayo mas nakikilala. Nakakatuwa rin kapag may nakakaalala ng simple things about you.

Catching up on the missing years

7 questions

How everyone changed while the other side was watching on video.

  1. Who knows what you like, and what do they usually get right for you?

    Sino yung alam ang gusto mo, at ano yung madalas nilang natatama para sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Being known can feel ordinary like that. Someone remembers your usual, your no-thanks, or the thing you always reach for.

    Minsan ganun kasimple yung feeling na kilala ka. May nakakaalala ng usual mo, ayaw mo, o lagi mong pinipili.

  2. Name a small thing people close to you know you always do.

    Sabihin yung small thing na alam ng close sa'yo na lagi mong ginagawa.

    Back of the card

    Being known often lives in tiny details. The little things people remember can feel surprisingly sweet.

    Minsan nasa tiny details yung feeling na kilala ka. Sweet din kapag naaalala ng tao yung small things mo.

  3. Describe one thing that feels different about you lately.

    I-describe ang isang bagay na parang nag-iba sa'yo lately.

    Back of the card

    Change often shows up quietly before anyone else notices. Giving it words helps you see it more clearly.

    Minsan tahimik lang dumadating ang pagbabago bago mapansin ng iba. Kapag nilagyan mo ng words, mas malinaw mo siyang nakikita.

  4. Which part of your personality has been showing up more lately?

    Anong part ng personality mo ang mas lumalabas lately?

    Back of the card

    The parts showing up may be asking to be noticed, used, or cared for. Curiosity can be a gentle start.

    Yung parts na mas lumalabas, baka gusto lang mapansin, magamit, o maalagaan. Puwedeng curiosity muna ang start.

  5. If you and a friend talk less often, what would you want to ask them?

    Kung bihira na kayong mag-usap ng friend, ano ang gusto mong itanong sa kanila?

    Back of the card

    Would you ask now or wait for a quieter time to talk?

    Itatanong mo ba ngayon o hihintayin mong mas tahimik ang oras ng usapan?

  6. Describe a moment that stressed you out before but makes you laugh now.

    I-describe yung moment na stressful dati pero natatawa ka na ngayon.

    Back of the card

    Some stressful moments lose their sharp edges with time. Once the panic fades, the story sometimes becomes surprisingly funny.

    May stressful moments na lumalambot habang tumatagal. Kapag wala na yung panic, minsan funny story na siya.

  7. Recall a harmless mistake that became a good story later.

    Anong pagkakamali ang nakakatawa nang balikan ngayon, na wala namang nasaktan?

    Back of the card

    What would the title of this story be?

    Ano ang magiging pamagat ng kuwentong ito?

Before the airport again

5 questions

For the last few nights of the visit.

  1. When was the last time a meal became a good memory?

    Kailan huling naging magandang memory yung isang meal?

    Back of the card

    A good meal memory is rarely only about food. It can be the timing, the people, or the feeling around the table.

    Hindi lang pagkain ang laman ng good meal memory. Pwedeng timing, kasama, o yung feeling sa paligid ng table.

  2. If you could pause time, when would you use it?

    Kung kaya mong i-pause ang oras, kailan mo ito gagamitin?

    Back of the card

    During the pause, would you rush to do something or enjoy the quiet?

    Habang naka-pause, may mamadaliin ka bang gawin o mae-enjoy mo ang katahimikan?

  3. Which button would you rather have: pause a busy hour or replay a favorite hour?

    Kung may time button, alin ang pipiliin mo: i-pause ang isang abalang oras o ulitin ang paborito mong oras?

    Back of the card

    Your button needs a label. What would you write on it?

    Kailangan ng label ang button mo. Ano ang isusulat mo rito?

  4. What would you like to make more time for this month?

    Ano ang gusto mong bigyan ng mas maraming oras ngayong buwan?

    Back of the card

    Imagine an extra afternoon opens up. Would you spend it all on this or leave some time free?

    Isipin na nabakante ang isang hapon. Ilalaan mo ba lahat ng oras dito o magtitira ka pa ng libreng oras?

  5. Name one thing that would make next month feel a little lighter.

    Magbanggit ng isang bagay na makakatulong para mas gumaan nang konti ang next month.

    Back of the card

    A lighter month does not have to mean a perfect one. Even one less weight can change how a season feels.

    Hindi kailangang perfect ang mas magaan na month. Kahit isang bawas na bigat, iba na ang pakiramdam ng season.

How to use them

Before you ask

The first question at any balikbayan homecoming is the one everyone already knows: “Tumaba ka!” (you got fat!) or “Pumuti ka!” (you got fairer!). The trick is getting from that to what each side actually wants to know: who you’ve become out there, and what changed at home while you were gone.

Start while the balikbayan box is being unpacked. Everyone is in one room, there are already things to talk about, and light questions about small comforts and favorite snacks keep it playful. Once the visit settles into its rhythm, the middle group is for the long nights on the terrace or the drive to the province. Save the last group for the final week, when the visit starts to feel short.

The balikbayan might answer in English and lola in Tagalog. Every card has both, so neither has to switch.

Good for

  • The welcome-home dinner
  • Long drives to the province
  • Cousins catching up after years apart
  • The despedida before the flight back

Tips

  1. Retire the body comments. Ask about the years, not the waistline or the skin.
  2. Let the person who stayed answer first sometimes. Homecomings can make it all about the one who left.
  3. Bring the box into it: ask why each pasalubong was chosen.
  4. Take one walk alone with each parent. Some answers don’t come out at a crowded table.

Decks for this

Balikbayan homecoming

Frequently asked questions

What does balikbayan mean?

A balikbayan is a Filipino who returns to the Philippines after living or working abroad, from “balik” (return) and “bayan” (home country). A balikbayan box is the large box of gifts and goods they ship or bring home.

What should we talk about when a family member comes home from abroad?

Skip the comments on weight and looks and ask about the years apart: what changed, what they missed, what they’re proud of. Light questions while unpacking, deeper ones once the visit settles in.

What is a balikbayan box?

A large box, often sent by sea weeks ahead, filled with gifts, groceries, clothes and pasalubong for family in the Philippines. Opening it is part of the homecoming.

Bring a better question to the table.

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