Questions · Host family
Host family questions for the first dinner together
A new student or au pair arrives with a suitcase, jet lag and a hundred unspoken questions about how your house works. These cards help both sides ask the small things early, before small misunderstandings grow.
- 17 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Who knows what you like, and what do they usually get right for you?
Sino yung alam ang gusto mo, at ano yung madalas nilang natatama para sa'yo?
Being known can feel ordinary like that. Someone remembers your usual, your no-thanks, or the thing you always reach for.
Minsan ganun kasimple yung feeling na kilala ka. May nakakaalala ng usual mo, ayaw mo, o lagi mong pinipili.
The questions
17 questions for host families and guests
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
The first dinner
5 questions
Food first. It’s the friendliest place to start.
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If someone were choosing a snack or drink for you, what’s one choice that would almost always work?
Kung may pipili ng snack o drink para sa'yo, ano yung halos laging okay sa'yo?
Back of the card
Tiny preferences can be an easy way to know someone better. It feels good when people remember the simple things.
Minsan sa small preferences tayo mas nakikilala. Nakakatuwa rin kapag may nakakaalala ng simple things about you.
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Who knows what you like, and what do they usually get right for you?
Sino yung alam ang gusto mo, at ano yung madalas nilang natatama para sa'yo?
Back of the card
Being known can feel ordinary like that. Someone remembers your usual, your no-thanks, or the thing you always reach for.
Minsan ganun kasimple yung feeling na kilala ka. May nakakaalala ng usual mo, ayaw mo, o lagi mong pinipili.
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Share one food rule your household still follows.
Mag-share ng isang food rule na sinusunod pa rin sa bahay niyo.
Back of the card
House rules around food can be funny, practical, or oddly sacred. They carry the flavor of how people grew up.
Yung food rules sa bahay, minsan funny, minsan practical, minsan oddly sacred. May flavor siya ng kinalakihan natin.
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Tell us about a food that reminds you of someone taking care of you.
Ikuwento yung pagkain na nagpapaalala sa'yo ng alaga ng isang tao.
Back of the card
Food can carry care without needing big words. Sometimes the simple act of feeding someone well becomes a memory by itself.
Kayang magdala ng care ang pagkain kahit walang malaking salita. Minsan yung simpleng pag-alaga sa pagkain, nagiging memory na.
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Think of someone who makes simple meals more fun. What do they do?
Isipin yung taong nagpapasaya kahit simpleng kain lang. Ano yung ginagawa niya?
Back of the card
A meal does not need to be fancy to feel full of life. Sometimes one person's energy changes the whole mood.
Hindi kailangang fancy ang kain para maging masaya. Minsan energy lang ng isang tao, nag-iiba na yung mood.
How the house works
6 questions
Routines and habits, asked both ways.
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At home, who usually notices the chores, mess, or little things first?
Sa bahay ninyo, sino yung madalas unang nakakapansin ng chores, kalat, o maliliit na kailangan gawin?
Back of the card
Every home has someone who notices first. That kind of attention can be quiet, but it keeps many things moving.
Sa bawat bahay, may taong unang nakakapansin. Tahimik minsan yung ganung attention, pero marami siyang napapaandar.
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Would you rather have someone cook or clean for you?
Mas gusto mo bang may magluto o maglinis para sa'yo?
Back of the card
Picture doing something you enjoy while they handle the task.
Isipin ang masayang gagawin mo habang sila ang bahala.
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When you get home, what’s the first thing you usually do?
Pag-uwi mo, ano yung unang bagay na usually mong ginagawa?
Back of the card
That first move can be funny, tired, quiet, or automatic. It can say something about how you settle in.
Yung first move na iyon pwedeng nakakatawa, pagod, tahimik, o automatic. May sinasabi rin siya kung paano ka nagse-settle.
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Describe your ideal electric fan or aircon setting.
I-describe yung ideal electric fan o aircon setting mo.
Back of the card
Temperature preferences can become a whole personality. Comfort has settings, and everyone defends theirs a little.
Yung temperature preference, minsan personality na rin. May settings ang comfort, at may kanya-kanya tayong ipinaglalaban.
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Before leaving the house, what do you always check?
Bago umalis ng bahay, ano yung lagi mong chine-check?
Back of the card
Small checks are tiny protection from future hassle. Everyone has one thing they refuse to leave up to memory.
Maliit lang yung check, pero nakakaiwas sa future hassle. Lahat tayo may isang bagay na hindi pwedeng memory lang.
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What small things make a room feel welcoming to you?
Anong maliliit na bagay ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka sa isang room?
Back of the card
Welcome can come from tone, space, food, faces, or small signals that say you do not have to prove yourself.
Puwedeng galing sa tono, space, pagkain, mukha ng tao, o maliliit na sign na hindi mo kailangang patunayan ang sarili mo.
Settling in
6 questions
For the second or third week, once the jet lag has gone.
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How do you usually unwind after a long day?
Paano ka usually nagpapahinga pagkatapos ng mahabang araw?
Back of the card
Everyone has a different way of landing after a full day. It can be quiet, active, social, or very simple.
Iba-iba tayo ng paraan mag-settle after a long day. Puwedeng tahimik, active, may kasama, o simple lang.
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How would you like a friend to respond when you are too tired to join a plan?
Kapag sobrang pagod ka para sumama, paano mo gustong mag-react ang friend sa pagtanggi mo?
Back of the card
Missing one plan does not mean you want to stop being invited.
Hindi ibig sabihin na ayaw mo nang yayain kapag hindi ka nakasama minsan.
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Where do you feel like you can finally breathe a little?
Saan mo nararamdaman na parang nakakahinga ka na ulit?
Back of the card
The place does not have to be special to anyone else. If your body softens there, it counts.
Hindi kailangang special sa ibang tao yung lugar. Kung doon ka lumuluwag, counted yun.
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Create a new holiday that everyone gets to celebrate. What happens that day?
Gumawa ng bagong holiday na puwedeng i-celebrate ng lahat. Ano ang ginagawa sa araw na iyon?
Back of the card
What tradition would belong to your holiday?
Anong tradisyon ang bagay sa holiday mo?
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When doing something with friends, which small job do you enjoy helping with?
Kapag may ginagawa kayo ng friends, anong parte ang gusto mong akuin para makatulong?
Back of the card
Would you still enjoy that job with a much bigger group?
Gusto mo pa rin ba ang gawaing iyon kung mas marami ang kasama?
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Where do you feel like you do not have to adjust yourself too much these days?
Saan mo nararamdaman lately na hindi mo kailangang masyadong i-adjust sarili mo?
Back of the card
The places where you feel like yourself can teach you what helps you breathe, belong, and come back to center.
Yung mga lugar na parang ikaw ka talaga, may tinuturo. Baka doon ka mas nakakahinga, nakakagaan, o nakakabalik sa sarili.
How to use them
Before you ask
The most useful host family questions are about small daily habits (what someone always checks before leaving, what makes a room feel welcoming, how they unwind), because that’s where hosts and guests misunderstand each other first.
Most host-family friction isn’t about big cultural differences. It’s the thermostat, the shower schedule, whether you take your shoes off, whether skipping dinner is rude. Neither side wants to complain, so things build up. Asking each other these questions in the first days, as a conversation rather than a list of rules, makes the unspoken stuff easy to say.
Ask the cards in both directions: the host asks the student, then answers the same card about the family. Children in the host family are great at this; they ask what adults are too polite to. Revisit the last group a few weeks in, when the guest is comfortable enough to be honest.
Good for
Tips
- Answer each card about your own family too; it explains house habits without a rule sheet.
- Let the host family’s kids read the cards. They ask the honest questions.
- Ask about food on day one. It’s the easiest topic and the most practical.
- Make it clear it’s fine to be tired and skip a family plan.
- Check in again after three weeks, when the honeymoon period ends.
Decks for this
Host family
Frequently asked questions
What questions should a host family ask a new student?
Ask about food preferences, daily habits like what they check before leaving or how they unwind, what makes a room feel welcoming, and how they would like the family to respond when they are tired.
What should an exchange student ask their host family?
The same questions in reverse: house routines, who usually handles what, food rules at home, and family traditions like holidays.
How do we avoid misunderstandings with a host student?
Talk about small daily habits early, as a conversation rather than a list of rules, and check in again a few weeks later.
Bring a better question to the table.
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