Questions · Aunts and uncles
Questions to ask your aunts and uncles, beyond “how’s work?”
Questions to ask your aunts and uncles at the family party, the wedding table or a quiet visit: easy starters, their younger years, the advice they can give from one step removed, and what their life is like now.
- 16 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Think of someone who makes simple meals more fun. What do they do?
Isipin yung taong nagpapasaya kahit simpleng kain lang. Ano yung ginagawa niya?
A meal does not need to be fancy to feel full of life. Sometimes one person's energy changes the whole mood.
Hindi kailangang fancy ang kain para maging masaya. Minsan energy lang ng isang tao, nag-iiba na yung mood.
The questions
16 questions to ask your aunts and uncles
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
At the family party
4 questions
Every family has a storyteller. Usually it’s an uncle.
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Think of someone who makes simple meals more fun. What do they do?
Isipin yung taong nagpapasaya kahit simpleng kain lang. Ano yung ginagawa niya?
Back of the card
A meal does not need to be fancy to feel full of life. Sometimes one person's energy changes the whole mood.
Hindi kailangang fancy ang kain para maging masaya. Minsan energy lang ng isang tao, nag-iiba na yung mood.
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Tell us the funny memory your friends or family still bring up.
Ikuwento yung funny memory na binabalikan pa rin ng friends o family mo.
Back of the card
Some stories become part of a group's archive. If people still bring it up, it probably earned its place.
May stories na parte na ng group archive. Kapag binabalikan pa rin, malamang deserve niya yung spot.
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Think of someone in your circle who can turn anything into a funny story.
Isipin yung tao sa circle niyo na kayang gawing funny story kahit simpleng bagay lang.
Back of the card
Every circle has someone who makes ordinary stories funnier than expected. Naming them is also a tiny thank-you.
May tao talagang nagpapasaya ng simpleng kwento. Kapag naalala mo siya, parang small thank-you na rin.
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At family gatherings, where do you usually end up: helping, chatting, eating, or observing?
Kapag may family gathering, saan ka usually napupunta: tumutulong, nakikipagkwentuhan, kumakain, o nag-oobserve?
Back of the card
Gatherings bring out our natural moves. Some people serve, some talk, some watch, and some happily stay near the food.
Sa gatherings, lumalabas yung natural move natin. May tumutulong, may nagkukuwento, may nag-oobserve, at may masaya sa tabi ng pagkain.
Their younger years
4 questions
They knew your parents before they were your parents.
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Tell us about a place that left a memory or feeling you still carry.
Ikuwento yung lugar na may iniwang memory o feeling na dala mo pa rin.
Back of the card
Some places stay with us quietly. You may not notice it right away, but later you realize you carried something from there.
May mga lugar na tahimik lang ang iniiwan sa atin. Hindi mo agad napapansin, pero may dala ka pala mula roon.
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What day from the past would you like to watch?
Anong araw sa nakaraan ang gusto mong mapanood?
Back of the card
Pause on one scene from that day. Which detail would you want to look at longer?
Huminto muna sa isang eksena ng araw na iyon. Anong detalye ang gusto mong tingnan nang mas matagal?
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When you were younger, what got you excited quickly?
Nung bata ka, ano yung madaling maka-excite sa'yo?
Back of the card
Early excitement can be fun to remember. It can also show what kind of wonder came naturally to you.
Nakakatuwang balikan yung madaling ika-excite mo dati. Minsan pinapakita rin nito kung anong klaseng wonder ang natural sa'yo.
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What helped you feel welcome in a new place?
Ano ang nakatulong para maramdaman mong welcome ka sa isang bagong lugar?
Back of the card
Would you do something similar for someone new? You can also leave it as a good memory.
Gagawin mo rin ba iyon para sa bagong dating? Puwede ring magandang alaala na lang muna ito.
Advice from one step removed
4 questions
Easier to hear from an aunt than from Mom.
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Name something that matters to you more now than it used to.
Magsabi ng isang bagay na mas mahalaga na sa'yo ngayon kaysa dati.
Back of the card
What matters can change as you grow. That shift is not betrayal; it may be a clearer kind of honesty.
Puwedeng magbago ang mahalaga habang naggo-grow ka. Hindi agad betrayal yun; baka mas malinaw na honesty.
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What is something you can handle better now than before?
Ano yung mas kaya mo nang i-handle ngayon kaysa dati?
Back of the card
Growth is often noticed in comparison. What used to shake you may now take less from you.
Madalas napapansin ang growth kapag may comparison. Yung dati kang kinakabahan, baka ngayon mas kaya mo nang harapin.
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When did you realize a habit you already had was helping you?
Kailan mo na-realize na nakakatulong pala yung habit na meron ka na?
Back of the card
Helpful habits are not always dramatic. Sometimes you only notice them when life feels a little easier because they are there.
Hindi laging dramatic ang helpful habits. Minsan mo lang sila napapansin kapag mas gumagaan ang life dahil nandiyan sila.
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What can you do now that would have surprised you a few years ago?
Ano ang kaya mo na ngayon na hindi mo inakalang magagawa mo ilang taon na ang nakaraan?
Back of the card
Picture showing your younger self how you do it. What might surprise them first?
Isipin na ipinapakita mo sa mas batang sarili mo kung paano mo ito ginagawa. Ano kaya ang una niyang ikagugulat?
Their life now
4 questions
Aunts and uncles get asked about everyone but themselves.
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If your afternoon suddenly became free, how would you spend it?
Kung biglang naging free ang hapon mo, paano mo ito gagamitin?
Back of the card
Free time shows what you reach for when nobody is asking for anything. It can be rest, fun, errands, or nothing at all.
Makikita sa free time kung saan ka kusang pupunta kapag walang kailangan sa'yo. Puwedeng pahinga, saya, errands, o wala lang.
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Who do you wish you could spend more normal, no-special-plan time with?
Sino yung gusto mong makasama nang mas madalas, kahit walang special na lakad?
Back of the card
Ordinary time can build closeness slowly. Not every good moment needs an occasion.
Nakakabuo rin ng closeness ang ordinaryong time. Hindi lahat ng magandang moment kailangan may special na lakad.
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What are you looking forward to over the next few weeks?
Ano ang inaabangan mo sa susunod na mga linggo?
Back of the card
Finish if you like: "The part I cannot wait for is..."
Kung gusto mo, ituloy: "Ang pinaka-inaabangan ko ay..."
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Tell us about one simple thing that can make your day better.
Ikuwento mo yung simpleng bagay na nakakapagpaganda ng araw mo.
Back of the card
Small things count because real days are mostly made of small things. Even a tiny lift can matter.
May bigat din ang simpleng bagay, kasi karamihan ng araw natin puro maliliit na moments. Kahit konting gaan, may halaga.
How to use them
Before you ask
Aunts and uncles are some of the most interesting people at a family gathering and some of the least asked. They knew your parents as kids, they’ve watched you grow up, and they’ve usually got stories nobody else will tell. Most of the time, though, the conversation stops at “how’s work?” and “you’ve gotten so tall.”
Start with the family party questions: who turns anything into a funny story, which memory the family keeps bringing up. Aunts and uncles are often the keepers of those. Then ask about their own younger years, a place that left a feeling they still carry, what got them excited as a kid.
The advice group is where aunts and uncles shine. They can tell you what they handle better now than before without it sounding like a parent’s lecture.
Good for
Tips
- Ask them what your parent was like at your age.
- Sit next to the relative you know least.
- Ask about their life, not just their kids’.
- Write down the stories they tell; they’re often the only source.
- Call them on their birthday with one question ready.
Decks for this
Aunts and uncles
Frequently asked questions
What should I ask my aunts and uncles?
Ask who in the family can turn anything into a funny story, about a place from their younger years they still think about, what they can handle better now than before, and what small plan they’re looking forward to.
How do I get to know my aunts and uncles better?
Spend time with them one-on-one, ask about their own lives and memories, and follow up next time. They’re often glad someone asked.
Do these work for titos and titas?
Yes. Every card also has a Filipino version, which helps when your tito or tita prefers Tagalog.
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