Questions · Parents

Questions to ask your parents about the life before you

Questions to ask your parents about their childhood, the house they grew up in and what they learned along the way. For merienda at home or the video call to mom and dad abroad, in English and Filipino.

  • 30 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Getting to know№ 28

When you were younger, what got you excited quickly?

Nung bata ka, ano yung madaling maka-excite sa'yo?

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A note

Early excitement can be fun to remember. It can also show what kind of wonder came naturally to you.

Nakakatuwang balikan yung madaling ika-excite mo dati. Minsan pinapakita rin nito kung anong klaseng wonder ang natural sa'yo.

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The questions

30 questions to ask your parents

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

Over merienda

10 questions

Food, house rules and small habits. Even a quiet tatay has opinions here.

  1. Name one ulam you would be happy to eat every week.

    Magbanggit ng isang ulam na happy kang kainin every week.

    Back of the card

    Some dishes earn a permanent place in the rotation. They do not need drama, just rice and a happy yes.

    May ulam na deserve maging regular sa rotation. Hindi kailangan ng drama, kanin lang at happy yes.

  2. Share one food rule your household still follows.

    Mag-share ng isang food rule na sinusunod pa rin sa bahay niyo.

    Back of the card

    House rules around food can be funny, practical, or oddly sacred. They carry the flavor of how people grew up.

    Yung food rules sa bahay, minsan funny, minsan practical, minsan oddly sacred. May flavor siya ng kinalakihan natin.

  3. What food is hard for you to say no to?

    Anong pagkain ang hirap mong tanggihan?

    Back of the card

    Food answers can be light, but they usually carry a little story: comfort, habit, craving, or someone who introduced it.

    Light lang ang food answer, pero madalas may kasamang kuwento: comfort, habit, craving, o taong nagpakilala nito sa'yo.

  4. Describe your ideal electric fan or aircon setting.

    I-describe yung ideal electric fan o aircon setting mo.

    Back of the card

    Temperature preferences can become a whole personality. Comfort has settings, and everyone defends theirs a little.

    Yung temperature preference, minsan personality na rin. May settings ang comfort, at may kanya-kanya tayong ipinaglalaban.

  5. Name one pambahay item you always reach for, like a shirt, shorts, slippers, blanket, or mug.

    Magbanggit ng isang pambahay item na lagi mong ginagamit, like shirt, shorts, tsinelas, kumot, o mug.

    Back of the card

    The best pambahay items are not trying to impress anyone. They just show up, stay comfortable, and do their job.

    Yung best pambahay items, hindi kailangan magpa-impress. Comfortable lang, reliable, at laging ready sa bahay.

  6. Before leaving the house, what do you always check?

    Bago umalis ng bahay, ano yung lagi mong chine-check?

    Back of the card

    Small checks are tiny protection from future hassle. Everyone has one thing they refuse to leave up to memory.

    Maliit lang yung check, pero nakakaiwas sa future hassle. Lahat tayo may isang bagay na hindi pwedeng memory lang.

  7. Complete the line: I'm chill, but please don't ___.

    Kumpletuhin: Chill naman ako, pero please wag ___.

    Back of the card

    Tiny pet peeves are usually harmless, but they still deserve their moment. Everyone has a small line somewhere.

    Harmless lang ang tiny pet peeves, pero deserve din nila ng moment. Lahat tayo may small line somewhere.

  8. Confess one harmless habit you know is very you.

    I-confess yung harmless habit na very you talaga.

    Back of the card

    Harmless habits become part of your signature. They may be small, but people who know you probably notice.

    Yung harmless habits, nagiging signature mo rin. Maliit lang, pero napapansin yan ng mga nakakakilala sa'yo.

  9. When you get home, what’s the first thing you usually do?

    Pag-uwi mo, ano yung unang bagay na usually mong ginagawa?

    Back of the card

    That first move can be funny, tired, quiet, or automatic. It can say something about how you settle in.

    Yung first move na iyon pwedeng nakakatawa, pagod, tahimik, o automatic. May sinasabi rin siya kung paano ka nagse-settle.

  10. Which everyday sound reminds you of home right away?

    Anong everyday sound ang nagpapaalala agad sa'yo ng home?

    Back of the card

    Home is not always a place first. Sometimes it is a sound you recognize before you even think about it.

    Hindi laging lugar agad ang home. Minsan sound siya na kilala mo na bago mo pa isipin.

When they were young

8 questions

The games, the merienda and the places they still remember.

  1. Back when you were a kid, what game or activity could keep you busy for hours?

    Nung bata ka, anong laro o activity ang kaya mong pagkaabalahan nang ilang oras?

    Back of the card

    Childhood focus has its own sweetness. It remembers a time when getting lost in play was enough.

    May sariling saya yung focus nung bata tayo. Naalala nito yung panahon na sapat na ang maglaro nang maglaro.

  2. When you were younger, what got you excited quickly?

    Nung bata ka, ano yung madaling maka-excite sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Early excitement can be fun to remember. It can also show what kind of wonder came naturally to you.

    Nakakatuwang balikan yung madaling ika-excite mo dati. Minsan pinapakita rin nito kung anong klaseng wonder ang natural sa'yo.

  3. Finish this: Childhood merienda feels extra special when...

    Tapusin ito: Mas special ang childhood merienda kapag...

    Back of the card

    Merienda memories are small, but they can carry whole afternoons with them. One bite can bring back a place, a person, or a mood.

    Maliit lang ang merienda memories, pero may dala silang buong hapon. Isang kagat lang, may bumabalik agad na lugar, tao, o feeling.

  4. Tell us about a small childhood memory you still remember clearly.

    Kuwento mo yung maliit na childhood memory na malinaw pa rin sa'yo.

    Back of the card

    The memories that stay are not always the biggest ones. Sometimes one small scene keeps its color for years.

    Hindi laging pinakamalaki ang memories na naiiwan. Minsan isang maliit na scene ang malinaw pa rin kahit ang tagal na.

  5. Share the first time you did something on your own and felt more capable afterward.

    Ikuwento ang unang beses mong gumawa ng isang bagay mag-isa at naisip mong, "Kaya ko pala."

    Back of the card

    Finish if you like: "That was when I realized I could..."

    Kung gusto mo, ituloy: "Doon ko naisip na kaya ko palang..."

  6. Tell us about a place that left a memory or feeling you still carry.

    Ikuwento yung lugar na may iniwang memory o feeling na dala mo pa rin.

    Back of the card

    Some places stay with us quietly. You may not notice it right away, but later you realize you carried something from there.

    May mga lugar na tahimik lang ang iniiwan sa atin. Hindi mo agad napapansin, pero may dala ka pala mula roon.

  7. Tell us about a food that reminds you of someone taking care of you.

    Ikuwento yung pagkain na nagpapaalala sa'yo ng alaga ng isang tao.

    Back of the card

    Food can carry care without needing big words. Sometimes the simple act of feeding someone well becomes a memory by itself.

    Kayang magdala ng care ang pagkain kahit walang malaking salita. Minsan yung simpleng pag-alaga sa pagkain, nagiging memory na.

  8. What day from the past would you like to watch?

    Anong araw sa nakaraan ang gusto mong mapanood?

    Back of the card

    Pause on one scene from that day. Which detail would you want to look at longer?

    Huminto muna sa isang eksena ng araw na iyon. Anong detalye ang gusto mong tingnan nang mas matagal?

Who taught them

6 questions

Skills, habits and the people they still look up to.

  1. Who taught you a useful skill or habit you still use in daily life?

    Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng useful skill o habit na gamit mo pa rin sa daily life?

    Back of the card

    Practical lessons are easy to overlook, but they stay close. They show up in the small ways you move through a day.

    Madaling ma-overlook ang practical lessons, pero dala-dala mo pala. Lumalabas sila sa maliliit mong galaw araw-araw.

  2. What useful skill did someone patiently teach you?

    Anong kasanayan ang matiyagang itinuro sa'yo ng isang tao?

    Back of the card

    Imagine you are teaching the skill now. What would you show a beginner first?

    Isipin na ikaw naman ang nagtuturo nito. Ano ang una mong ipapakita sa baguhan?

  3. Who taught you a work or school habit you still use, and what was it?

    Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng work o school habit na gamit mo pa rin, at ano yun?

    Back of the card

    Some habits come from people who modeled them first. Their way of doing things can quietly become part of yours.

    May habits na galing sa taong nauna lang magpakita. Tahimik mong nadadala yung style nila hanggang maging part na rin ng style mo.

  4. Who is someone you respect for the way they live, even in small things?

    Sino yung taong nirerespeto mo sa paraan ng buhay niya, kahit sa maliliit na bagay?

    Back of the card

    Respect often begins with small, steady things. A simple habit can show a lot about how someone moves through life.

    Madalas nagsisimula ang respeto sa maliliit pero consistent na bagay. May simpleng habit na maraming sinasabi tungkol sa isang tao.

  5. What difficult situation are you proud of handling?

    Anong mahirap na sitwasyon ang proud kang naharap mo?

    Back of the card

    You can pass or keep the situation private. What did handling it help you notice about your own abilities?

    Puwedeng mag-pass o itago ang sitwasyon. Ano ang napansin mong kaya mo pala matapos mong harapin iyon?

  6. What is something you can handle better now than before?

    Ano yung mas kaya mo nang i-handle ngayon kaysa dati?

    Back of the card

    Growth is often noticed in comparison. What used to shake you may now take less from you.

    Madalas napapansin ang growth kapag may comparison. Yung dati kang kinakabahan, baka ngayon mas kaya mo nang harapin.

For the long call home

6 questions

When nobody is rushing and the connection holds.

  1. Who do you wish you could spend more normal, no-special-plan time with?

    Sino yung gusto mong makasama nang mas madalas, kahit walang special na lakad?

    Back of the card

    Ordinary time can build closeness slowly. Not every good moment needs an occasion.

    Nakakabuo rin ng closeness ang ordinaryong time. Hindi lahat ng magandang moment kailangan may special na lakad.

  2. Name something that matters to you more now than it used to.

    Magsabi ng isang bagay na mas mahalaga na sa'yo ngayon kaysa dati.

    Back of the card

    What matters can change as you grow. That shift is not betrayal; it may be a clearer kind of honesty.

    Puwedeng magbago ang mahalaga habang naggo-grow ka. Hindi agad betrayal yun; baka mas malinaw na honesty.

  3. If a friend asked what matters to you lately, what is the first thing you would mention?

    Kung tanungin ka ng friend kung ano ang importante sa'yo lately, ano yung una mong sasabihin?

    Back of the card

    You do not have to list everything. Starting with one honest thing is already enough for a real answer.

    Hindi mo kailangang ilista lahat. Sapat na magsimula sa isang honest na bagay para maging totoong sagot.

  4. If you could tell your younger self one piece of good news, what would it be?

    Kung may isang good news kang masasabi sa batang ikaw, ano yun?

    Back of the card

    This is a gentle way to name progress. Not everything is fixed, but maybe there is something younger you would smile about.

    Gentle way ito para makita yung progress. Hindi man ayos lahat, baka may isang bagay na ikakangiti ng batang ikaw.

  5. Name one small wish you have for yourself this year.

    Ano yung isang maliit na wish mo para sa sarili mo this year?

    Back of the card

    Small wishes can still be honest. They may be easier to say out loud because they do not demand a perfect life.

    Maliit man yung wish, honest pa rin. Minsan mas madaling sabihin kasi hindi niya hinihingi na perfect ang buhay.

  6. Which version of your past self are you starting to understand more now?

    Aling version ng past self mo ang nagsisimula mong mas maintindihan ngayon?

    Back of the card

    Understanding your past self does not erase what happened. It can soften the way you hold the person you were.

    Hindi binubura ng understanding ang nangyari. Pero puwede nitong palambutin kung paano mo hinahawakan yung dating ikaw.

How to use them

Before you ask

Most calls home run on the same script: kumain ka na, kumusta ang trabaho, ingat. Questions to ask your parents work best when they skip the update and ask about their life instead. The food they grew up on, the games they played, the habits from home they still keep, and who taught them what.

Start with the easy ones over merienda or at the top of a video call, when nobody expects a deep talk. Food and house rules get even a quiet dad talking. When a story starts, follow it with one more question instead of jumping to the next card. The childhood and lessons sets usually do the rest.

If your parents work abroad, or you do, save a few for the long Sunday call. Ask your mom and your dad the same question separately; two versions of one story are half the fun. It works with lolo and lola too, and they have more stories than anyone at the table.

Keep it from becoming a review of how they raised you. These are questions about their life, not a report card on yours, so leave the old grievances for another day. If a memory turns heavy, slow down and listen instead of reaching for the next card. And anyone, parent or child, can pass a card.

Good for

  • Merienda or Sunday lunch with your parents
  • Video calls with OFW parents, or calling home from abroad
  • Visits to lolo and lola in the province
  • Long drives with your mom or dad
  • Birthdays and anniversaries at home

Tips

  1. Answer the card yourself first, so it feels like a trade and not an interview.
  2. Ask for the story, not the fact: “what happened?” gets more than “when?”.
  3. Ask each parent on their own and compare the versions later.
  4. On a video call, type the question in the chat first so they can think while the line catches up.
  5. Write down any story you hadn’t heard before. You’ll want it later.
  6. Let them pass. Some memories are heavier than the card looks.

Decks for this

Parents

Frequently asked questions

What are good questions to ask your parents?

Questions about their own childhood, the food and habits of the house they grew up in, and the people who taught them things. They are easy to answer, they come with stories, and most parents are rarely asked.

How do I start a deeper conversation with my mom or dad?

Begin light, with food or an old habit at home, and answer it yourself first. When they tell a story, ask one follow-up about how it felt or what they learned, then let them decide how far to go.

What should I ask my parents about their life?

Ask what kept them busy as kids, which place from their youth they still think about, who taught them a skill they still use, a hard time they are proud of getting through, and what they still wish for. Record the answers if they say it’s okay.

What can I talk about with my parents on a video call?

Short questions that open a story work best on a call: a favorite ulam, a childhood game, a sound that means home. Keep the longer ones for a weekend call when nobody is in a hurry.

Are these questions in Tagalog?

Yes. They are cards from the free Kumustahan app, and every one has an English and a Filipino/Tagalog version, so your parents can read the one they prefer.

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