Questions · Check-in
Check-in questions for the answer after “ayos lang”
You ask “Kumusta ka?” and get “Ayos lang.” These check-in questions are for the next step: gentle, specific ways to ask how someone is really doing, in English and Filipino.
- 26 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
During a busy week, what signs tell you that you are still doing okay?
Kapag busy ang week, anong signs ang nagsasabi sa'yo na okay ka pa naman?
Your signs may be small: sleep, patience, appetite, humor, or the ability to answer messages without dread.
Puwedeng maliit lang yung signs: tulog, pasensya, gana kumain, humor, o kaya mong sumagot ng messages nang hindi mabigat.
The questions
26 check-in questions to ask
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
A soft start
6 questions
Small questions that are easier to answer honestly than “how are you”.
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What word would describe your week so far?
Anong word ang babagay sa week mo so far?
Back of the card
Sometimes one word is enough to begin. Naming the week can help you notice what your heart has been carrying.
Minsan sapat na ang isang word para makapagsimula. Kapag napangalanan mo ang week mo, mas nakikita mo kung ano ang bitbit mo.
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Name one small part of today that felt okay.
Magbanggit ng isang maliit na part ng araw mo na okay naman.
Back of the card
An okay moment still counts. It does not have to fix the whole day to be worth noticing.
Bilang pa rin ang okay na moment. Hindi niya kailangang ayusin ang buong araw para mapansin mo siya.
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Pick one small thing lately that helped you breathe easier.
Pick one maliit na bagay lately na nakatulong sa'yo huminga nang mas maluwag.
Back of the card
Relief can be small and still be real. Notice what gave your body or mind a little more room.
Puwedeng maliit ang ginhawa pero totoo pa rin. Pansinin kung ano ang nagbigay ng konting luwag sa katawan o isip mo.
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Which part of your day do you look forward to?
Anong part ng araw mo ang inaabangan mo?
Back of the card
The part you look forward to can be a clue. It shows where your day still gives you a little life.
Clue din yung part na inaabangan mo. Ipinapakita niya kung saan may konting buhay pa sa araw mo.
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During a busy week, what signs tell you that you are still doing okay?
Kapag busy ang week, anong signs ang nagsasabi sa'yo na okay ka pa naman?
Back of the card
Your signs may be small: sleep, patience, appetite, humor, or the ability to answer messages without dread.
Puwedeng maliit lang yung signs: tulog, pasensya, gana kumain, humor, o kaya mong sumagot ng messages nang hindi mabigat.
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Name one tiny habit that has been helping you lately.
Magsabi ng isang tiny habit na nakakatulong sa'yo lately.
Back of the card
Small habits can hold more weight than they look like. Notice the quiet things that help you keep going.
May bigat din ang maliit na habit. Pansinin yung tahimik na bagay na tumutulong sa'yo magpatuloy.
Rest and energy
6 questions
Where their energy is going, and what would give some back.
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Name one thing that can wait until tomorrow.
Magbanggit ng isang bagay na puwedeng maghintay hanggang bukas.
Back of the card
Not everything needs today's strength. Letting one thing wait can be a practical kind of kindness.
Hindi lahat kailangan ng lakas mo today. Minsan praktikal na kindness yung hayaan munang maghintay ang isang bagay.
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What has your body or mood been telling you these days?
Ano ang sinasabi ng katawan o mood mo sa'yo lately?
Back of the card
Your tiredness, restlessness, or steadiness can give honest signals. Listening can help you choose with more care, not just more effort.
Yung pagod, restlessness, o pagiging steady mo pwedeng magbigay ng honest signals. Kapag pinakinggan mo, mas makakapili ka nang may care, hindi puro effort lang.
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Where are you spending energy that you wish you could save?
Saan napupunta ang energy mo na sana naiipon mo na lang?
Back of the card
Energy is limited, even when love or responsibility is real. Noticing the drain is the first step toward caring for it.
Limited ang energy, kahit totoo ang love o responsibility. Kapag napansin mo kung saan ka nauubos, mas maalagaan mo siya.
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What might you need to say no to, pause, or limit so your week feels lighter?
Ano yung kailangan mong hihindian, i-pause, o limitahan para mas gumaan ang week mo?
Back of the card
A boundary is not always a wall. Sometimes it is a small line that helps you stay present and honest.
Hindi laging pader ang boundary. Minsan maliit na line lang siya para mas present at honest ka.
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Tell us about a small routine that helps you feel okay when your day feels off.
Ikuwento yung small routine na tumutulong sa'yo maging okay kapag off ang araw mo.
Back of the card
A routine does not have to be impressive to help. Sometimes familiar steps are enough to help you find your footing again.
Hindi kailangang impressive ang routine para makatulong. Minsan sapat na yung familiar na steps para makabalik ka sa okay.
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Pick one small kindness you can give yourself today.
Pumili ng isang maliit na kindness na kaya mong ibigay sa sarili mo today.
Back of the card
Kindness does not need to be grand to be real. A small mercy can still change how the day feels.
Hindi kailangang bongga ang kindness para maging totoo. Kahit maliit na mercy, puwedeng baguhin ang feel ng araw.
What they’re carrying
7 questions
Pressure, expectations and the things people don’t see.
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Name something you are carrying this week that people may not notice.
Magsabi ng isang bitbit mo this week na baka hindi napapansin ng iba.
Back of the card
Not every weight is visible. Being honest about what you carry can make the load feel less unnamed.
Hindi lahat ng bigat nakikita. Kapag honest ka sa bitbit mo, kahit hindi agad gumaan, hindi na siya sobrang labo.
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Name one pressure you may have gotten used to carrying lately.
Magbanggit ng isang pressure na baka nasanay ka nang dalhin lately.
Back of the card
Some pressure becomes familiar, but familiar does not always mean light. You can notice it without needing to solve it tonight.
May pressure na nasasanayan, pero hindi ibig sabihin magaan na siya. Puwede mo munang mapansin bago ayusin.
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Describe what you usually do when you feel emotionally or mentally full.
I-describe kung ano usually mong ginagawa kapag emotionally or mentally puno ka na.
Back of the card
Your first response to being full can teach you a lot. It may be asking for gentleness, space, or help.
May tinuturo yung unang response mo kapag puno ka na. Baka kailangan mo ng lambing, space, o tulong.
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Name one expectation of yourself that feels too heavy lately.
Magsabi ng isang expectation mo sa sarili mo na parang ang bigat lately.
Back of the card
Some expectations sound responsible but leave no room to breathe. You can ask whether they are still fair.
May expectations na responsible pakinggan pero walang space huminga. Puwede mong tanungin kung fair pa ba sila.
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Which part of this season asks for more patience from you?
Anong part ng season na ito ang humihingi ng mas mahabang pasensya sa'yo?
Back of the card
Patience is not always passive. Sometimes it is the steady work of staying kind while something takes time.
Hindi laging passive ang patience. Minsan trabaho rin siyang manatiling mabait habang may bagay na mabagal talaga.
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Name one thing you are learning about your limits with energy, time, emotions, or responsibilities.
Magbanggit ng isang natututuhan mo tungkol sa limits mo sa energy, time, emotions, o responsibilities.
Back of the card
Limits can feel frustrating, but they are also information. They show where care needs to become more practical.
Nakaka-frustrate minsan ang limits, pero may information din sila. Ipinapakita nila kung saan kailangang maging mas practical ang care.
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Where do you need to be less harsh with yourself?
Saan mo kailangang bawasan ang pagiging harsh sa sarili mo?
Back of the card
Being less harsh does not mean caring less. It can mean choosing a voice that helps you keep moving honestly.
Hindi ibig sabihin na wala kang pakialam kapag hindi ka harsh. Baka mas helpful lang ang boses na hindi ka dinudurog.
Support, and the honest answer
7 questions
For when they’re ready to say more, and what help would look like.
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After a tiring day, would you rather get a funny message, a call, or a quiet hangout?
Pagkatapos ng nakakapagod na araw, mas gusto mo ba ng funny message, tawag, o tahimik na bonding?
Back of the card
Choose the first five minutes: a little catching up, a little laughter, or no talking yet.
Piliin ang unang limang minuto: kumustahan, tawanan, o wala munang usapan.
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Which fear gets smaller when you talk about it?
Anong takot ang gumagaan kapag naikukwento mo?
Back of the card
Some fears grow in silence and shrink in safe air. Talking can help you see their true size.
May takot na lumalaki kapag tahimik lang. Kapag naikuwento sa safe na lugar, mas nakikita mo ang totoong laki niya.
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When pressure builds, what part of you feels like you have to handle everything alone?
Kapag tumataas ang pressure, anong part mo ang feeling kailangan mong saluhin lahat mag-isa?
Back of the card
The proving part may have been trying to protect you. It can be thanked without letting it run the whole week.
Baka sinusubukan ka lang protektahan ng part na yan. Puwede mo siyang pasalamatan nang hindi siya ang pinapahawak sa buong week.
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What are you afraid might happen if you rest, delay something, or do less for a while?
Ano ang kinakatakot mong mangyari kung magpahinga ka, may i-delay, o bawasan muna ang ginagawa mo?
Back of the card
The fear behind busyness is worth hearing. It may show what has been asking too much from you.
Pakinggan din yung takot sa likod ng pagiging busy. Baka may pinapakita siyang sobrang dami nang hinihingi sa'yo.
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What helps you keep going when the next step is not clear?
Ano ang tumutulong sa'yo magpatuloy kapag hindi pa clear ang next step?
Back of the card
You do not need the whole map to keep moving carefully. Sometimes enough light for one step is still enough.
Hindi mo kailangan ng buong mapa para gumalaw nang maingat. Minsan sapat na ang konting linaw para sa isang step.
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Name one small hope that helps you keep going.
Magbanggit ng isang maliit na hope na tumutulong sa'yo magpatuloy.
Back of the card
A small hope can still carry real strength. It may be quiet, but it is not nothing.
May totoong lakas din ang maliit na hope. Tahimik man siya, hindi ibig sabihin wala siyang bigat.
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Share something you wish people understood about your life lately.
Ikuwento ang gusto mong maintindihan ng mga tao tungkol sa buhay mo lately.
Back of the card
You can keep this general or pass. Which part of your day would help someone understand your answer?
Puwedeng general lang o mag-pass. Anong part ng araw mo ang makakatulong para maintindihan nila ang sagot mo?
How to use them
Before you ask
Kumustahan is named after this exact problem. “Kumusta ka?” is such a familiar question that “Ayos lang” comes out before anyone thinks. It isn’t a lie, exactly. It’s just the shortest answer to a question too big to answer at the door.
A good check-in question is smaller and more specific. Ask for one word for the week, one thing that can wait until tomorrow, one pressure they’ve gotten used to. Those are easier to answer honestly. Start with the soft questions, and only move to what someone is carrying if they seem ready.
Check in somewhere calm: a car ride, a walk, a late merienda, a video call with nobody else in the room. Listen more than you advise. If they say “ayos lang” again, that’s allowed too. You asked, and they know the door is open.
Good for
Tips
- Ask one small question, not a list. A check-in isn’t an interview.
- Answer it yourself first if they seem stuck.
- Don’t fix it right away. Ask if they want advice or just company.
- Pick a calm place and a time when nobody has to leave soon.
- Accept a pass. Ask again another day, a little differently.
Decks for this
Check-in questions
Frequently asked questions
How do you ask someone how they’re really doing?
Ask something smaller and more specific than “how are you”, like what word describes their week or what they’re carrying that people might not notice. Ask in a calm moment, and listen without rushing to fix it.
What are good mental health check-in questions?
Gentle ones about rest, energy and pressure: what helps them settle after a full day, where their energy is going, what could wait until tomorrow. They open the door without forcing anyone through it.
What do you say when someone always answers “ayos lang”?
Don’t argue with it. Ask one specific follow-up, like what part of the week felt heavy or what helped, and make it clear they can pass. Sometimes the real answer comes a day later.
Are these questions a replacement for therapy?
No. They are conversation questions between people who care about each other. If someone is struggling a lot or not safe, help them reach a counselor, a doctor or a crisis line.
Are there check-in questions in Tagalog?
Yes. Every question on this page has an English and a Filipino version. The Reflect deck in the free Kumustahan app is built for exactly these talks.
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