Questions · Filipino American families
Questions for Filipino American families, in both languages
At a lot of Fil-Am tables, the parents ask in Tagalog and the kids answer in English. These questions are written for exactly that table: every card has both, so nobody gets left out of the conversation.
- 16 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
As you got older, which habit at home started to make more sense to you?
Habang tumatanda ka, anong habit sa bahay ninyo ang mas nagme-make sense na sa'yo ngayon?
Getting older can change the way you see home. A habit may look different once you know more of the story.
Habang tumatanda, nag-iiba rin minsan ang tingin natin sa bahay. May habit na mas naiintindihan kapag alam mo na ang kuwento.
The questions
16 questions for a Filipino American family dinner
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
While the rice is going around
6 questions
Food, the aircon and the house rules: topics every generation already has opinions on.
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Which sawsawan do you automatically look for, and what food is it best with?
Anong sawsawan ang automatic mong hinahanap, at anong pagkain ang pinakabagay doon?
Back of the card
A sawsawan choice can say a lot without becoming serious. Tiny food loyalties are part of the fun.
May sinasabi rin ang sawsawan choice, pero hindi kailangang maging serious. Masaya yung small food loyalties natin.
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Share one food rule your household still follows.
Mag-share ng isang food rule na sinusunod pa rin sa bahay niyo.
Back of the card
House rules around food can be funny, practical, or oddly sacred. They carry the flavor of how people grew up.
Yung food rules sa bahay, minsan funny, minsan practical, minsan oddly sacred. May flavor siya ng kinalakihan natin.
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Name the household item that becomes an issue when it goes missing.
Sabihin yung gamit sa bahay na nagiging issue kapag nawawala.
Back of the card
Some objects are only appreciated when they disappear. Their absence somehow turns the whole house into a search party.
May gamit na napapansin lang kapag nawawala. Bigla na lang buong bahay, search party na.
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Describe your ideal electric fan or aircon setting.
I-describe yung ideal electric fan o aircon setting mo.
Back of the card
Temperature preferences can become a whole personality. Comfort has settings, and everyone defends theirs a little.
Yung temperature preference, minsan personality na rin. May settings ang comfort, at may kanya-kanya tayong ipinaglalaban.
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Before leaving the house, what do you always check?
Bago umalis ng bahay, ano yung lagi mong chine-check?
Back of the card
Small checks are tiny protection from future hassle. Everyone has one thing they refuse to leave up to memory.
Maliit lang yung check, pero nakakaiwas sa future hassle. Lahat tayo may isang bagay na hindi pwedeng memory lang.
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Share one personal rule that only you seem to understand.
Mag-share ng isang personal rule na ikaw lang yata ang nakakaintindi.
Back of the card
Personal rules can sound strange from the outside. From the inside, they usually have a very clear origin story.
Minsan weird pakinggan ang personal rules sa iba. Pero sa'yo, usually may malinaw yang origin story.
Two childhoods, one table
5 questions
One grew up in Pampanga, one in Pasadena. Ask both and compare.
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Back when you were a kid, what game or activity could keep you busy for hours?
Nung bata ka, anong laro o activity ang kaya mong pagkaabalahan nang ilang oras?
Back of the card
Childhood focus has its own sweetness. It remembers a time when getting lost in play was enough.
May sariling saya yung focus nung bata tayo. Naalala nito yung panahon na sapat na ang maglaro nang maglaro.
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As you got older, which habit at home started to make more sense to you?
Habang tumatanda ka, anong habit sa bahay ninyo ang mas nagme-make sense na sa'yo ngayon?
Back of the card
Getting older can change the way you see home. A habit may look different once you know more of the story.
Habang tumatanda, nag-iiba rin minsan ang tingin natin sa bahay. May habit na mas naiintindihan kapag alam mo na ang kuwento.
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Tell us about a small thing you can do now that would have amazed you as a kid.
Kuwento mo yung maliit na bagay na kaya mo na ngayon na maa-amaze ka kung bata ka pa.
Back of the card
Progress can look ordinary from the outside. But younger you might know exactly how big that ordinary thing is.
Mukhang ordinaryo minsan ang progress. Pero baka alam ng batang ikaw kung gaano kalaki yung ordinaryong bagay na yan.
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Describe your favorite quiet moment at home in one sentence.
I-describe in one sentence yung favorite mong tahimik na moment sa bahay.
Back of the card
Quiet at home can be its own kind of treat. Sometimes the best part is that nothing needs to happen.
Yung tahimik sa bahay, treat din minsan. Minsan best part na yung walang kailangang mangyari.
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Give one household chore the power to finish itself. Which chore disappears?
Kung may isang gawaing-bahay na kusang matatapos, alin ang pipiliin mo?
Back of the card
The chore is already done. Finish: "Now I can..."
Tapos na ang gawaing iyon. Ituloy: "Ngayon, puwede na akong..."
After the dishes are done
5 questions
Hopes and kindnesses, for whoever is still at the table with a cup of coffee.
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Which compliment have you remembered long after someone said it?
Anong compliment ang tumatak sa'yo kahit matagal na itong sinabi?
Back of the card
The exact words are optional. Notice which part of the compliment stayed with you.
Hindi kailangan ang eksaktong salita. Balikan kung aling bahagi ng papuri ang tumatak sa'yo.
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Name one small wish you have for yourself this year.
Ano yung isang maliit na wish mo para sa sarili mo this year?
Back of the card
Small wishes can still be honest. They may be easier to say out loud because they do not demand a perfect life.
Maliit man yung wish, honest pa rin. Minsan mas madaling sabihin kasi hindi niya hinihingi na perfect ang buhay.
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Name one small hope that helps you keep going.
Magbanggit ng isang maliit na hope na tumutulong sa'yo magpatuloy.
Back of the card
A small hope can still carry real strength. It may be quiet, but it is not nothing.
May totoong lakas din ang maliit na hope. Tahimik man siya, hindi ibig sabihin wala siyang bigat.
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Which small kindness from other people do you notice right away?
Anong small kindness mula sa ibang tao ang napapansin mo agad?
Back of the card
It could be someone checking in, saving you a seat, helping quietly, or remembering a small detail. The kindness you notice may be the kind you needed before.
Puwedeng may nag-check in, nagtira ng seat, tumulong quietly, o nakaalala ng small detail. Baka yung kindness na napapansin mo ang kind na kinailangan mo dati.
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Name one hope you are protecting because it matters to you.
Magsabi ng isang hope na iniingatan mo kasi mahalaga talaga sa'yo.
Back of the card
We often protect the hopes that feel tender. You can hold it carefully without pretending it does not matter.
Madalas nating ingatan ang hopes na tender. Puwede mo siyang hawakan nang maingat nang hindi nagkukunwaring hindi siya mahalaga.
How to use them
Before you ask
The easiest way to get a Filipino American family talking is to ask a question both generations can answer from their own childhood, then compare. Lola’s answer comes from a barrio in the 1960s; your daughter’s comes from a cul-de-sac in Texas. The gap between them is the conversation.
What usually goes wrong is language. The parents switch to Tagalog for the good parts of a story, the kids catch half of it, and someone ends up translating instead of listening. That is why every Kumustahan card carries the English and the Filipino together: the question reads the same for everyone, and each person can answer in whichever language the answer lives in.
Start with food while people are still eating, move to childhood once plates are being pushed back, and save the slower questions for the two or three people who stay at the table. Taglish answers are welcome.
Good for
Tips
- Let one person answer in Tagalog and another in English. Nobody has to translate unless someone asks.
- Ask the same card to a parent and a kid, back to back. The contrast is where the laughter is.
- Skip the report-card questions. Grades, salaries and weight are not conversation.
- Keep a note of the stories you hadn’t heard before. Those are the ones to ask about again.
- If a parent goes quiet on a childhood question, let it be. Some memories come out on a second try, months later.
Decks for this
Filipino American families
Frequently asked questions
What are good questions for a Filipino American family dinner?
Questions about food, household habits and childhood work best, because parents raised in the Philippines and kids raised abroad both have answers and the answers are different. Ask the same question to two generations and compare.
How do I get my Filipino parents to share stories at dinner?
Ask for something small and specific, like a childhood game or a food from home, instead of “tell me about your life.” Small questions give them an easy way in, and the bigger story often follows.
What if my kids don’t speak Tagalog?
Use bilingual questions. Kumustahan’s cards show the English and Filipino together, so the kids can read the English, the grandparents can read the Tagalog, and everyone answers the same question.
Bring a better question to the table.
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