Questions · Long-distance friends

Questions for long-distance friends, so the call isn’t just updates

Questions for a close friend who moved away: catch-ups that beat “so, what’s new?”, the things you miss doing together, ideas for doing things apart, and the honest catch-up you keep meaning to have.

  • 18 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Icebreakers№ 55

What are you looking forward to over the next few weeks?

Ano ang inaabangan mo sa susunod na mga linggo?

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A note

Finish if you like: "The part I cannot wait for is..."

Kung gusto mo, ituloy: "Ang pinaka-inaabangan ko ay..."

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The questions

18 questions for long-distance friends

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

Better catch-up questions

5 questions

Small and specific, so you hear about their actual days.

  1. Which small plan are you looking forward to?

    Anong small plan ang nilu-look forward mo?

    Back of the card

    Looking forward to something simple can help a week feel kinder. Small plans are allowed to matter.

    Nakakagaan ng week kapag may simpleng nilu-look forward. Puwedeng maging mahalaga kahit maliit na plan lang.

  2. Which part of your day do you look forward to?

    Anong part ng araw mo ang inaabangan mo?

    Back of the card

    The part you look forward to can be a clue. It shows where your day still gives you a little life.

    Clue din yung part na inaabangan mo. Ipinapakita niya kung saan may konting buhay pa sa araw mo.

  3. What are you looking forward to over the next few weeks?

    Ano ang inaabangan mo sa susunod na mga linggo?

    Back of the card

    Finish if you like: "The part I cannot wait for is..."

    Kung gusto mo, ituloy: "Ang pinaka-inaabangan ko ay..."

  4. Describe your favorite quiet moment at home in one sentence.

    I-describe in one sentence yung favorite mong tahimik na moment sa bahay.

    Back of the card

    Quiet at home can be its own kind of treat. Sometimes the best part is that nothing needs to happen.

    Yung tahimik sa bahay, treat din minsan. Minsan best part na yung walang kailangang mangyari.

  5. Which part of the day usually feels easiest for you?

    Anong part ng araw usually pinaka-madali para sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Some people come alive in the morning, some at night, and some during one quiet pocket in between.

    May taong buhay na buhay sa umaga, may gabi ang favorite, at may isang tahimik na part lang sa gitna na hinihintay.

The things you miss doing

5 questions

The meals, the rides home, the plans that went wrong.

  1. What meal with a friend became memorable for something besides the food?

    Anong kainan ninyo ng friend ang tumatak dahil sa nangyari, hindi lang dahil sa pagkain?

    Back of the card

    If this meal's story had a title, what would it be?

    Kung may pamagat ang kuwento ng kainan na ito, ano iyon?

  2. Tell about a ride home with friends that you still remember.

    Magkuwento ng pag-uwi kasama ang friends na naaalala mo pa.

    Back of the card

    You could remember just the last thing someone said before you parted.

    Puwedeng balikan ang huling sinabi bago kayo naghiwa-hiwalay.

  3. Name a place that reminds you of a funny story with friends.

    Magbanggit ng lugar na nagpapaalala ng funny story kasama ang friends.

    Back of the card

    That place gets a new name just for this story. What would it be?

    Kung papangalanan mo ang lugar ayon sa kuwentong ito, ano ang itatawag mo?

  4. What failed plan with friends turned into a good memory?

    Anong pumalpak na plano kasama ang friends ang naging masayang memory?

    Back of the card

    The failed plan can be the story's best plot twist.

    Puwedeng ang pumalpak na plano ang pinakamagandang plot twist sa kuwento.

  5. What funny experience made you late to meet a friend?

    Anong nakakatawang nangyari kaya ka na-late sa pagkikita ninyo ng friend?

    Back of the card

    Retell the delay as a very dramatic excuse, if you like.

    Kung gusto mo, ikuwento ang pagka-late na parang sobrang dramatic na palusot.

Doing things apart, together

4 questions

For a watch party, a call during errands, the next visit.

  1. What would you like to watch with a friend?

    Ano ang gusto mong panoorin kasama ang friend?

    Back of the card

    Talking through the whole thing or saving comments until the end?

    Kuwentuhan habang nanonood o comments pagkatapos na lang?

  2. If you and your friends had just one free hour, how would you spend it together?

    Kung isang oras lang kayong lahat libre, ano ang gagawin ninyo?

    Back of the card

    Save a few minutes at the end for one thing you would not want to rush.

    Puwede kang maglaan ng ilang minuto sa dulo para sa bagay na ayaw mong madaliin.

  3. What day from the past would you like to watch?

    Anong araw sa nakaraan ang gusto mong mapanood?

    Back of the card

    Pause on one scene from that day. Which detail would you want to look at longer?

    Huminto muna sa isang eksena ng araw na iyon. Anong detalye ang gusto mong tingnan nang mas matagal?

  4. Choose a simple way friends could celebrate your birthday without spending much.

    Pumili ng simpleng paraan para i-celebrate ng friends ang birthday mo nang hindi gumagastos nang malaki.

    Back of the card

    One detail can be just for you: the music, the timing, or something else you love.

    Puwedeng may isang detalye para talaga sa'yo: music, oras, o iba pang gusto mo.

The honest catch-up

4 questions

Every few months, when you have the time.

  1. If you and a friend talk less often, what would you want to ask them?

    Kung bihira na kayong mag-usap ng friend, ano ang gusto mong itanong sa kanila?

    Back of the card

    Would you ask now or wait for a quieter time to talk?

    Itatanong mo ba ngayon o hihintayin mong mas tahimik ang oras ng usapan?

  2. Share something you wish people understood about your life lately.

    Ikuwento ang gusto mong maintindihan ng mga tao tungkol sa buhay mo lately.

    Back of the card

    You can keep this general or pass. Which part of your day would help someone understand your answer?

    Puwedeng general lang o mag-pass. Anong part ng araw mo ang makakatulong para maintindihan nila ang sagot mo?

  3. If a friend asked what matters to you lately, what is the first thing you would mention?

    Kung tanungin ka ng friend kung ano ang importante sa'yo lately, ano yung una mong sasabihin?

    Back of the card

    You do not have to list everything. Starting with one honest thing is already enough for a real answer.

    Hindi mo kailangang ilista lahat. Sapat na magsimula sa isang honest na bagay para maging totoong sagot.

  4. Describe one thing that feels different about you lately.

    I-describe ang isang bagay na parang nag-iba sa'yo lately.

    Back of the card

    Change often shows up quietly before anyone else notices. Giving it words helps you see it more clearly.

    Minsan tahimik lang dumadating ang pagbabago bago mapansin ng iba. Kapag nilagyan mo ng words, mas malinaw mo siyang nakikita.

How to use them

Before you ask

Long-distance friendships fade on updates, not on distance. After a move, calls turn into news reports: new job, new apartment, the weather. You both report, neither of you hears what a normal Tuesday looks like now, and slowly the calls get further apart.

Specific questions keep you in each other’s ordinary lives. Ask which part of the day they look forward to now, or for their favorite quiet moment at home in one sentence. Then remember out loud: the meal that became memorable for the wrong reasons, the ride home you both still talk about. Shared memories remind you why the effort is worth it.

Every few months, make time for a longer call and use the last group. Ask what they wish people understood about their life lately. Distance makes it easy to assume you know; asking shows you don’t want to assume.

Good for

  • Video calls with a friend who moved
  • Voice notes back and forth
  • Watch parties across time zones
  • Friends who moved abroad
  • Planning the next visit

Tips

  1. Put a recurring call on the calendar. Spontaneous calls stop happening after a move.
  2. When time zones don’t line up, trade voice notes and answer one question each.
  3. Watch the same show and talk about it, even a week apart.
  4. Ask about the people in their new life by name.

Decks for this

Long-distance friends

Frequently asked questions

What do you talk about with a long-distance friend?

Their ordinary days, not just the news: the part of the day they look forward to, a quiet moment at home, a small plan coming up. Then share memories and plan things you can do apart together.

How do you keep a long-distance friendship alive?

Regular calls on the calendar, voice notes in between, a shared show or game, and an honest catch-up every few months. Small, steady contact beats rare long calls.

What should I ask a friend who moved away?

Ask what their days look like now, what they miss, who they’re getting close to, and what they wish people understood about their life lately.

Bring a better question to the table.

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