Questions · Online friends

Questions to ask your online friends beyond the username

Questions for friends you met online: easy openers for the DMs, the person behind the screen name, what you’d do if you ever met in person, and how to be a real friend from far away.

  • 17 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app

Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Barkada№ 52

How would you like a friend to respond when you are too tired to join a plan?

Kapag sobrang pagod ka para sumama, paano mo gustong mag-react ang friend sa pagtanggi mo?

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A note

Missing one plan does not mean you want to stop being invited.

Hindi ibig sabihin na ayaw mo nang yayain kapag hindi ka nakasama minsan.

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The questions

17 questions to ask your online friends

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

In the DMs

4 questions

Easy to answer in a message, in any time zone.

  1. What kind of message from a friend is easy for you to reply to?

    Anong message mula sa friend ang madali mong sagutin?

    Back of the card

    You could write an example with no names or real chat details.

    Puwede kang gumawa ng halimbawa na walang pangalan o detalye ng totoong chat.

  2. Finish this: I almost panicked when I accidentally sent...

    Tapusin ito: Halos nag-panic ako nung accidentally kong na-send...

    Back of the card

    Wrong sends create instant suspense. The few seconds after realizing it can feel longer than the whole day.

    Iba yung kaba ng wrong send. Yung ilang seconds after ma-realize, parang humahaba bigla yung buong araw.

  3. What could you and a faraway friend enjoy doing together online?

    Kung nasa malayo ang friend mo, ano ang puwede ninyong gawin online na pareho ninyong mae-enjoy?

    Back of the card

    Choose a little ritual to start it: the same greeting, the same song, or your own idea.

    Puwedeng may nakasanayan kayong panimula: parehong bati, parehong kanta, o sarili ninyong ideya.

  4. Name a word or line you misheard that made the conversation funny.

    Magbanggit ng word o line na mali mong narinig at naging funny yung usapan.

    Back of the card

    Mishearing one word can send a conversation somewhere else completely. Sometimes the mistake is funnier than the original point.

    Isang maling dinig lang, ibang direction na yung usapan. Minsan mas funny pa yung mali kaysa original point.

The person behind the username

5 questions

Their room, their mood, their walk-in song.

  1. Choose a fake job title that fits your personality.

    Pumili ng fake job title na bagay sa personality mo.

    Back of the card

    A fake title can be more accurate than a real one. It gives a playful name to the thing people already notice.

    Minsan mas accurate pa ang fake title kaysa real one. Binibigyan lang niya ng playful name yung napapansin na ng tao.

  2. Name the song that should play when you enter a room.

    Sabihin yung song na dapat tumugtog pagpasok mo sa room.

    Back of the card

    An entrance song is mostly about energy. It says what kind of moment you want everyone to feel.

    Yung entrance song, energy talaga ang usapan. Sinasabi niya kung anong moment ang gusto mong dala.

  3. What comic-book hero name would fit something you are good at?

    Anong comic-book hero name ang bagay sa talento mo?

    Back of the card

    What problem would your hero solve?

    Anong problema ang kayang ayusin ng hero mo?

  4. Pick a mascot for your current mood: sleepy, dramatic, cheerful, chaotic, or something else.

    Pumili ng mascot para sa current mood mo: sleepy, dramatic, cheerful, chaotic, o iba pa.

    Back of the card

    Current mood is sometimes easier to explain through a mascot. It can be tired, dramatic, cheerful, or strangely accurate.

    Minsan mas madaling i-explain ang current mood gamit mascot. Puwedeng pagod, dramatic, cheerful, o weirdly accurate.

  5. Which everyday sound reminds you of home right away?

    Anong everyday sound ang nagpapaalala agad sa'yo ng home?

    Back of the card

    Home is not always a place first. Sometimes it is a sound you recognize before you even think about it.

    Hindi laging lugar agad ang home. Minsan sound siya na kilala mo na bago mo pa isipin.

If you ever meet up

4 questions

Daydream it first. Some of you will actually do it.

  1. Picture meeting an old friend after a few years. What would you want to do together first?

    Isipin na nagkita kayo ng dating friend makalipas ang ilang taon. Ano ang una mong gustong gawin ninyo?

    Back of the card

    You could begin with the most ordinary thing you used to do together.

    Puwedeng magsimula sa pinakasimpleng dati ninyong ginagawa nang magkasama.

  2. You receive one free round-trip ticket. Where are you going first?

    May libre kang round-trip ticket. Saan ka pupunta?

    Back of the card

    Choose one thing you would want to do before flying home.

    Pumili ng isang gusto mong gawin bago bumiyahe pauwi.

  3. What food is too messy for you to eat while chatting with friends?

    Anong pagkain ang mahirap kainin nang maayos habang nakikipagkuwentuhan sa friends?

    Back of the card

    This meal may need a pause button for the conversation.

    Baka kailangan munang i-pause ang kuwentuhan habang kinakain ito.

  4. What event would you choose if the ticket were free?

    Kung may libre kang ticket sa isang event, ano ang pipiliin mo?

    Back of the card

    Imagine the event is about to begin. What are you most excited to see?

    Magsisimula na ang event. Ano ang pinaka-gusto mong makita?

Real friend stuff

4 questions

Online doesn’t mean shallow.

  1. How would you like friends to react when you share good news?

    Paano mo gustong mag-react ang friends kapag may good news ka?

    Back of the card

    A loud cheer or a quiet “I'm happy for you” — which fits this news?

    Malakas na cheer o tahimik na “Masaya ako para sa'yo” — alin ang bagay sa balitang ito?

  2. How would you like a friend to respond when you are too tired to join a plan?

    Kapag sobrang pagod ka para sumama, paano mo gustong mag-react ang friend sa pagtanggi mo?

    Back of the card

    Missing one plan does not mean you want to stop being invited.

    Hindi ibig sabihin na ayaw mo nang yayain kapag hindi ka nakasama minsan.

  3. How can friends tell when you are excited about something?

    Paano nahahalata ng friends na excited ka sa isang bagay?

    Back of the card

    Think of the sign you notice in yourself before anyone else does.

    Isipin ang senyales na napapansin mo sa sarili mo bago pa mapansin ng iba.

  4. What quick question could clear up a confusing message from a friend?

    Kapag malabo ang message ng friend, paano mo tatanungin kung ano ang ibig nilang sabihin?

    Back of the card

    “Did you mean...?” can leave the answer open. You can use an invented message.

    Puwedeng magsimula sa “Ang ibig mo bang sabihin...?” Gawa-gawang message lang kung gusto mo.

How to use them

Before you ask

Online friends are real friends; you just get to know them in a different order. You might know their take on every patch note and nothing about the room they type from. Good questions fill in the rest.

Start with what works in text: the kind of message that’s easy for them to reply to, the typo that nearly caused a disaster. Then ask about the person behind the screen name. A fake job title for their personality, or the everyday sound that means home to them, tells you who you’re actually talking to at 2 a.m.

A friendship that lives in DMs needs the same things as any other: knowing how they want you to react to good news, what they need when they’re too tired to hop on. Ask directly. Text makes tone easy to misread, and one question saves a lot of guessing.

Good for

  • Discord and gaming friends
  • Fandom and forum friends
  • Long DM conversations
  • Voice chat while you play
  • Planning a first meetup

Tips

  1. One question per message. A wall of questions reads like a form.
  2. Move to voice for the deeper ones; tone gets lost in text.
  3. Let them decide how much real-life detail to share.
  4. If you meet, choose a public place and tell someone where you’ll be.

Decks for this

Online friends

Frequently asked questions

What should you ask your online friends?

Text-friendly questions first, like what kind of message they find easy to answer, then ones about the person behind the username, like their walk-in song or a sound that reminds them of home. Later, ask how they like friends to react to good news.

How do you get closer to an online friend?

Move some conversations to voice, ask about life outside the game or server, share your own answers, and check in when they go quiet. Consistency beats long messages.

Is it safe to meet an online friend in person?

Take it slowly. Video call first, meet somewhere public, tell someone you trust where you’ll be, and leave if anything feels off.

Bring a better question to the table.

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