Questions · Mother-in-law
Questions to ask your mother-in-law, at your own pace
Questions to ask your mother-in-law that build a relationship of your own, not just one through your partner: easy favorites, her own story, how she handles her days, and getting to know each other slowly.
- 15 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
When you try a place to eat, what makes it feel worth visiting again?
Kapag may tinry kang kainan, ano yung nagpapaisip sa'yo na worth balikan ito?
It could be taste, comfort, price, people, or memory. Places become favorites for different reasons.
Puwedeng lasa, comfort, presyo, tao, o memory. Iba-iba yung dahilan kung bakit may places tayong binabalikan.
The questions
15 questions to ask your mother-in-law
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Easy ground
4 questions
Snacks, small comforts and restaurants. Safe, and useful later.
-
Pick one snack you would still accept even when you're already full.
Pick one snack na tatanggapin mo pa rin kahit busog ka na.
Back of the card
Some cravings stay charmingly powerful. The snack you still make room for usually knows exactly how to find your soft spot.
May cravings talaga na malakas pa rin kahit busog. Yung snack na yan, alam kung saan ka mahina.
-
Pick one small item you use often that makes life feel a little easier.
Pumili ng isang small item na madalas mong gamitin at nagpapagaan ng life kahit konti.
Back of the card
Small useful things can feel quietly heroic. They make the day easier without asking for attention.
May small useful things na quietly heroic. Pinapadali nila yung araw nang hindi nagpapapansin, kahit simple lang sila.
-
When you try a place to eat, what makes it feel worth visiting again?
Kapag may tinry kang kainan, ano yung nagpapaisip sa'yo na worth balikan ito?
Back of the card
It could be taste, comfort, price, people, or memory. Places become favorites for different reasons.
Puwedeng lasa, comfort, presyo, tao, o memory. Iba-iba yung dahilan kung bakit may places tayong binabalikan.
-
If someone were choosing a snack or drink for you, what’s one choice that would almost always work?
Kung may pipili ng snack o drink para sa'yo, ano yung halos laging okay sa'yo?
Back of the card
Tiny preferences can be an easy way to know someone better. It feels good when people remember the simple things.
Minsan sa small preferences tayo mas nakikilala. Nakakatuwa rin kapag may nakakaalala ng simple things about you.
Her story
4 questions
Before she was anyone’s mom or mother-in-law.
-
Tell us about a small childhood memory you still remember clearly.
Kuwento mo yung maliit na childhood memory na malinaw pa rin sa'yo.
Back of the card
The memories that stay are not always the biggest ones. Sometimes one small scene keeps its color for years.
Hindi laging pinakamalaki ang memories na naiiwan. Minsan isang maliit na scene ang malinaw pa rin kahit ang tagal na.
-
Who taught you a work or school habit you still use, and what was it?
Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng work o school habit na gamit mo pa rin, at ano yun?
Back of the card
Some habits come from people who modeled them first. Their way of doing things can quietly become part of yours.
May habits na galing sa taong nauna lang magpakita. Tahimik mong nadadala yung style nila hanggang maging part na rin ng style mo.
-
Recall the last time you tried something new just because you were curious.
Ikuwento ang huling beses na sumubok ka ng bago dahil curious ka lang.
Back of the card
Would you try it again, or was once enough?
Susubukan mo ba ulit, o sapat na ang minsan?
-
Where do you feel like you can finally breathe a little?
Saan mo nararamdaman na parang nakakahinga ka na ulit?
Back of the card
The place does not have to be special to anyone else. If your body softens there, it counts.
Hindi kailangang special sa ibang tao yung lugar. Kung doon ka lumuluwag, counted yun.
How she does it
4 questions
Routines and resets. People like being asked how they manage.
-
Tell us about a small routine that helps you feel okay when your day feels off.
Ikuwento yung small routine na tumutulong sa'yo maging okay kapag off ang araw mo.
Back of the card
A routine does not have to be impressive to help. Sometimes familiar steps are enough to help you find your footing again.
Hindi kailangang impressive ang routine para makatulong. Minsan sapat na yung familiar na steps para makabalik ka sa okay.
-
During a busy week, what signs tell you that you are still doing okay?
Kapag busy ang week, anong signs ang nagsasabi sa'yo na okay ka pa naman?
Back of the card
Your signs may be small: sleep, patience, appetite, humor, or the ability to answer messages without dread.
Puwedeng maliit lang yung signs: tulog, pasensya, gana kumain, humor, o kaya mong sumagot ng messages nang hindi mabigat.
-
Describe a tiny routine you do even if nobody notices.
I-describe yung tiny routine mo kahit walang nakakapansin.
Back of the card
Tiny routines can be private proof that you have your own way of moving through the day.
Yung tiny routines, private proof minsan na may sarili kang way gumalaw sa araw, sa sarili mong style.
-
After a busy or tiring season, how can people tell that you’ve actually rested?
After ng busy o nakakapagod na season, paano malalaman ng mga tao na nakapagpahinga ka talaga?
Back of the card
Real rest often shows up quietly: more patience, more jokes, clearer thoughts, or simply a softer face.
Madalas tahimik lang makita ang tunay na pahinga: mas mahaba ang pasensya, mas may jokes, mas malinaw mag-isip, o mas maaliwalas lang.
Getting to know each other
3 questions
How she likes to be welcomed and celebrated.
-
What kind of greeting from me makes you feel most welcomed?
Anong klaseng bati mula sa akin ang pinaka-nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka?
Back of the card
The way you greet each other matters. Even a small hello can make coming back to each other feel warmer.
Mahalaga kung paano ninyo binabati ang isa't isa. Kahit simpleng hello, puwedeng gawing mas warm ang pagbalik ninyo sa isa't isa.
-
How would you like friends to react when you share good news?
Paano mo gustong mag-react ang friends kapag may good news ka?
Back of the card
A loud cheer or a quiet “I'm happy for you” — which fits this news?
Malakas na cheer o tahimik na “Masaya ako para sa'yo” — alin ang bagay sa balitang ito?
-
Choose a simple way friends could celebrate your birthday without spending much.
Pumili ng simpleng paraan para i-celebrate ng friends ang birthday mo nang hindi gumagastos nang malaki.
Back of the card
One detail can be just for you: the music, the timing, or something else you love.
Puwedeng may isang detalye para talaga sa'yo: music, oras, o iba pang gusto mo.
How to use them
Before you ask
Many people only know their mother-in-law through their partner: holiday dinners, group texts, stories told secondhand. A relationship of your own takes questions that are about her, asked when it’s just the two of you, in the kitchen, on a walk, in the car to the store.
Begin on easy ground. Knowing her go-to snack or the restaurant she’d go back to gives you something real to offer next time. Then ask about her own story, a childhood memory or a habit someone taught her. Most mothers-in-law are rarely asked about themselves at family events, and many will open up.
Go slowly. The last group, how she likes to be welcomed and how she likes good news met, is for once there’s some trust. Respect that she has her own pace too.
Good for
Tips
- Ask about her, not about your partner as a kid, at least half the time.
- Offer to help in the kitchen; it’s the easiest place to talk.
- Remember her favorites and use them.
- Keep disagreements with her between you and your partner first.
- Thank her for a story, specifically.
Decks for this
Mother-in-law
Frequently asked questions
What should I ask my mother-in-law?
Start easy with her go-to snack or a restaurant she loves, then ask about a childhood memory, a habit someone taught her, and the small routine that helps her when a day feels off.
How do I build a relationship with my mother-in-law?
Spend some time with her one-on-one, ask about her own life, remember what she tells you, and let the relationship grow at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you.
How is this different from the in-laws page?
This page is for a one-on-one relationship with your mother-in-law. The in-laws questions are for whole-family gatherings.
Bring a better question to the table.
Free on iPhone and Android. 420 cards free, no account, works offline.