Questions · Mom
Questions to ask your mom about her, for once
Questions to ask your mom that are about her, not about your plans or her worries for you. Her small joys, who she was before she was Mom, what she quietly carries, and what she still hopes for.
- 17 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
How do you usually unwind after a long day?
Paano ka usually nagpapahinga pagkatapos ng mahabang araw?
Everyone has a different way of landing after a full day. It can be quiet, active, social, or very simple.
Iba-iba tayo ng paraan mag-settle after a long day. Puwedeng tahimik, active, may kasama, o simple lang.
The questions
17 questions to ask your mom
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Her little things
4 questions
Most kids can’t name their mom’s go-to order. Start here.
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Pick one small mood upgrade, like a drink, song, scent, snack, or clean space.
Pumili ng isang small mood upgrade, like drink, song, scent, snack, o malinis na space.
Back of the card
A mood upgrade does not need to be big. Sometimes one small detail is enough to change the angle of the day.
Hindi kailangang malaki ang mood upgrade. Minsan isang small detail lang, nag-iiba na yung angle ng araw.
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How do you usually unwind after a long day?
Paano ka usually nagpapahinga pagkatapos ng mahabang araw?
Back of the card
Everyone has a different way of landing after a full day. It can be quiet, active, social, or very simple.
Iba-iba tayo ng paraan mag-settle after a long day. Puwedeng tahimik, active, may kasama, o simple lang.
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Where do you feel like you can finally breathe a little?
Saan mo nararamdaman na parang nakakahinga ka na ulit?
Back of the card
The place does not have to be special to anyone else. If your body softens there, it counts.
Hindi kailangang special sa ibang tao yung lugar. Kung doon ka lumuluwag, counted yun.
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If you were too tired to think, what would you order?
Kapag pagod ka nang mag-isip, ano yung o-orderin mo?
Back of the card
The no-thinking order is its own kind of comfort. It is the choice that carries you when your brain is done.
May comfort din sa order na hindi mo na kailangang isipin. Siya yung choice kapag ubos na utak mo.
Before she was Mom
5 questions
Her friends, her talents, the compliment she still remembers.
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If you had one free hour every week, what hobby would you go back to?
Kung may isang free hour ka every week, anong hobby ang babalikan mo?
Back of the card
A hobby you miss can point to a part of you that still wants some space.
Yung hobby na nami-miss mo minsan tumuturo sa part ng sarili mo na gusto pa rin ng konting space.
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Tell us about a friend who made you feel like you belonged.
Ikuwento yung friend na nagparamdam sa'yo na belong ka.
Back of the card
Inclusion can happen through one seat saved, one question asked, or one person making room on purpose.
Minsan isang upuang tinabi, isang tanong, o isang taong sinadyang magtabi ng space ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka.
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Who is a friend you can sit quietly with without it feeling awkward?
Sino yung friend na kaya mong samahan nang tahimik without it feeling awkward?
Back of the card
Comfortable quiet is its own kind of closeness. It means the friendship does not always need talking, joking, or trying hard.
May closeness din sa tahimik na hindi awkward. Ibig sabihin, hindi laging kailangang magsalita, magpatawa, o mag-effort nang todo.
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Which compliment have you remembered long after someone said it?
Anong compliment ang tumatak sa'yo kahit matagal na itong sinabi?
Back of the card
The exact words are optional. Notice which part of the compliment stayed with you.
Hindi kailangan ang eksaktong salita. Balikan kung aling bahagi ng papuri ang tumatak sa'yo.
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What are you good at that your friends rarely get to see?
Saan ka magaling na bihirang makita ng friends mo?
Back of the card
Imagine a friend seeing you do it for the first time.
Isipin na unang nakita ng friend kung paano mo ito ginagawa.
What she carries
4 questions
Moms are used to being asked how everyone else is. Ask about her.
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Name one pressure you may have gotten used to carrying lately.
Magbanggit ng isang pressure na baka nasanay ka nang dalhin lately.
Back of the card
Some pressure becomes familiar, but familiar does not always mean light. You can notice it without needing to solve it tonight.
May pressure na nasasanayan, pero hindi ibig sabihin magaan na siya. Puwede mo munang mapansin bago ayusin.
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Name one expectation of yourself that feels too heavy lately.
Magsabi ng isang expectation mo sa sarili mo na parang ang bigat lately.
Back of the card
Some expectations sound responsible but leave no room to breathe. You can ask whether they are still fair.
May expectations na responsible pakinggan pero walang space huminga. Puwede mong tanungin kung fair pa ba sila.
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What kind of rest, fun, or treat are you learning to enjoy without feeling bad about it?
Anong klaseng pahinga, saya, o treat ang natututuhan mong i-enjoy nang hindi masyadong nagi-guilty?
Back of the card
Enjoyment can take practice, especially when you are used to earning every pause. This question leaves room for that.
Minsan kailangan ding matutuhan ang mag-enjoy, lalo na kung sanay kang kailangan mong paghirapan ang bawat pahinga. May space dito para doon.
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After a busy or tiring season, how can people tell that you’ve actually rested?
After ng busy o nakakapagod na season, paano malalaman ng mga tao na nakapagpahinga ka talaga?
Back of the card
Real rest often shows up quietly: more patience, more jokes, clearer thoughts, or simply a softer face.
Madalas tahimik lang makita ang tunay na pahinga: mas mahaba ang pasensya, mas may jokes, mas malinaw mag-isip, o mas maaliwalas lang.
What she still hopes for
4 questions
She has plans of her own. Ask to hear them.
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Name one good thing you are quietly hoping for.
Magsabi ng isang good thing na tahimik mong hinihiling lately.
Back of the card
Quiet hopes still deserve room. Saying them gently can remind you that wanting good things is not foolish.
May lugar din ang tahimik na hopes. Kapag nasabi mo sila nang gentle, naaalala mong hindi foolish ang umasa sa mabuti.
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Finish this sentence: “In this next season, I hope I get to experience...”
Tapusin mo yung sentence: “Sa next season, sana ma-experience ko...”
Back of the card
This sentence can stay small or open wide. Either way, it gives your hope a place to begin.
Puwedeng maliit lang o biglang lumawak yung sentence. Either way, may starting point yung hope mo.
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Which part of yourself are you learning to accept?
Anong part ng sarili mo ang natututuhan mong tanggapin?
Back of the card
Acceptance can be slow and ordinary. Sometimes it begins when you stop arguing with one true part of yourself.
Mabagal at ordinary minsan ang acceptance. Minsan nagsisimula siya kapag hindi mo na inaaway ang isang totoong part mo.
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What can you do now that would have surprised you a few years ago?
Ano ang kaya mo na ngayon na hindi mo inakalang magagawa mo ilang taon na ang nakaraan?
Back of the card
Picture showing your younger self how you do it. What might surprise them first?
Isipin na ipinapakita mo sa mas batang sarili mo kung paano mo ito ginagawa. Ano kaya ang una niyang ikagugulat?
How to use them
Before you ask
Most conversations with Mom are about someone else: how you’re doing, whether your brother called, what time you’re coming for dinner. The questions worth asking your mom are the ones about her: what she does to unwind, which hobby she’d go back to with one free hour, the friend she can sit quietly with.
Start small and specific. If you don’t know what she’d order when she’s too tired to think, that’s your first question. Then ask about who she was before she had kids, and listen like it’s a story you haven’t heard, because you probably haven’t heard all of it.
The last two groups are for a calm moment, one-on-one: a walk, a drive, a coffee with nowhere to be. Many moms deflect the first time (“oh, I’m fine”). Ask again, gently, and wait.
Good for
Tips
- Ask about her, then don’t turn the answer back to yourself.
- If she deflects, ask the same question again later in the visit.
- Write down her small favorites and use them.
- Do it one-on-one; moms answer differently with the whole family listening.
- Thank her for the story, not just for being a good mom.
Decks for this
Mom
Frequently asked questions
What are good questions to ask your mom?
Questions about her as a person: how she unwinds after a long day, what hobby she’d go back to, which compliment she still remembers, and one good thing she’s quietly hoping for.
What deep questions can I ask my mom?
Ask what pressure she’s gotten used to carrying, which expectation of herself feels too heavy, and what kind of rest she’s learning to enjoy without guilt. Ask one-on-one, in a calm moment.
How do I get to know my mom better as an adult?
Ask about her life before kids, her friendships and her hopes now, and spend time with her doing something she chooses. Treat her answers as stories, not as advice for you.
Bring a better question to the table.
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