Questions · Your parents’ life story

Questions to ask your parents about their life story

Questions to ask your mom or dad about their life, in the order it happened: childhood, growing up and leaving home, the choices and turning points, and how they look back on it now. Made for recording.

  • 16 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Getting to know№ 24

When you think of home, what small detail comes up first?

Kapag naiisip mo ang home, anong maliit na detail ang unang pumapasok?

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A note

Home can be a smell, a sound, a person, a room, or one ordinary detail that stayed.

Pwedeng amoy, tunog, tao, kwarto, o isang ordinaryong detail ang home. Minsan yun ang unang bumabalik.

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The questions

16 questions about your parents’ life

In life order. One chapter per sitting is plenty; record it if they agree.

Childhood

4 questions

Home, games and the food someone made for them.

  1. When you think of home, what small detail comes up first?

    Kapag naiisip mo ang home, anong maliit na detail ang unang pumapasok?

    Back of the card

    Home can be a smell, a sound, a person, a room, or one ordinary detail that stayed.

    Pwedeng amoy, tunog, tao, kwarto, o isang ordinaryong detail ang home. Minsan yun ang unang bumabalik.

  2. Back when you were a kid, what game or activity could keep you busy for hours?

    Nung bata ka, anong laro o activity ang kaya mong pagkaabalahan nang ilang oras?

    Back of the card

    Childhood focus has its own sweetness. It remembers a time when getting lost in play was enough.

    May sariling saya yung focus nung bata tayo. Naalala nito yung panahon na sapat na ang maglaro nang maglaro.

  3. Tell us about a food that reminds you of someone taking care of you.

    Ikuwento yung pagkain na nagpapaalala sa'yo ng alaga ng isang tao.

    Back of the card

    Food can carry care without needing big words. Sometimes the simple act of feeding someone well becomes a memory by itself.

    Kayang magdala ng care ang pagkain kahit walang malaking salita. Minsan yung simpleng pag-alaga sa pagkain, nagiging memory na.

  4. Tell us about a small habit at home that you thought was normal for everyone.

    Kuwento mo yung maliit na habit sa bahay na akala mo normal sa lahat.

    Back of the card

    Every home has its own normal. Sometimes you only notice it when another house does things differently.

    Bawat bahay may sariling normal. Minsan doon mo lang napapansin kapag iba pala ang style sa ibang bahay.

Growing up and leaving home

5 questions

New places, new friends, the songs of that time.

  1. What helped you feel welcome in a new place?

    Ano ang nakatulong para maramdaman mong welcome ka sa isang bagong lugar?

    Back of the card

    Would you do something similar for someone new? You can also leave it as a good memory.

    Gagawin mo rin ba iyon para sa bagong dating? Puwede ring magandang alaala na lang muna ito.

  2. How did your first impression of a friend change once you got to know them?

    Anong first impression mo sa isang friend ang nagbago nang makilala mo sila?

    Back of the card

    You can finish: “I thought they were..., then I noticed...”

    Puwedeng ituloy: “Akala ko..., tapos napansin ko...”

  3. Recall a moment when talking to a new friend started to feel easy.

    Kailan ka nagsimulang maging komportable sa pakikipagkuwentuhan sa bago mong friend?

    Back of the card

    Remember the first thing you no longer felt shy about saying.

    Balikan ang unang bagay na hindi ka na nahiyang sabihin.

  4. Which compliment have you remembered long after someone said it?

    Anong compliment ang tumatak sa'yo kahit matagal na itong sinabi?

    Back of the card

    The exact words are optional. Notice which part of the compliment stayed with you.

    Hindi kailangan ang eksaktong salita. Balikan kung aling bahagi ng papuri ang tumatak sa'yo.

  5. Which song takes you back to a particular time with friends?

    Anong kanta ang nagpapaalala sa'yo ng isang panahon ninyo ng friends mo?

    Back of the card

    Picture where everyone was when the song came on.

    Isipin kung nasaan ang lahat noong tumugtog ang kanta.

Choices and turning points

3 questions

How they decided, and who was fair to them along the way.

  1. When plans change, how do you decide what to keep, drop, or adjust?

    Kapag nagbago ang plans, paano mo dini-decide kung ano ang itutuloy, bibitawan, o ia-adjust?

    Back of the card

    Changed plans show priorities quickly. Sometimes the real answer is comfort, people, responsibility, peace, or simply energy.

    Kapag nagbago ang plans, mabilis lumabas ang priorities. Minsan comfort, tao, responsibility, peace, o energy lang talaga.

  2. Tell us about a time someone was fair to you in a way you still remember.

    Ikuwento yung time na naging fair sa'yo ang isang tao, at natatandaan mo pa rin.

    Back of the card

    Fairness can be memorable because it gives people room to breathe. It says, I see the whole situation, not only the mistake.

    Natatandaan ang fairness kasi nakakahinga ang tao. Parang sinasabi nito, nakikita ko yung buong situation, hindi lang yung mali.

  3. What recent choice shows something that matters to you?

    Anong pinili mo lately ang nagpapakita ng mahalaga sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Finish if you like: "I chose it because I care about..."

    Kung gusto mo, ituloy: "Iyon ang pinili ko dahil mahalaga sa'kin ang..."

Looking back

4 questions

For the last sitting. Let the silences run.

  1. If you could tell your younger self one piece of good news, what would it be?

    Kung may isang good news kang masasabi sa batang ikaw, ano yun?

    Back of the card

    This is a gentle way to name progress. Not everything is fixed, but maybe there is something younger you would smile about.

    Gentle way ito para makita yung progress. Hindi man ayos lahat, baka may isang bagay na ikakangiti ng batang ikaw.

  2. Name something you are outgrowing, even if you still care about it.

    Magsabi ng isang bagay na parang ino-outgrow mo na, kahit may care ka pa rin doon.

    Back of the card

    Outgrowing something does not always mean rejecting it. Sometimes it means honoring what was real while making room to change.

    Hindi laging rejection ang pag-outgrow. Minsan pag-honor siya sa naging totoo, habang gumagawa ng space para magbago.

  3. If a friend said you have changed in a good way, what change would you hope they noticed?

    Kung sabihin ng friend mo na nagbago ka in a good way, anong change ang sana napansin nila?

    Back of the card

    The change you hope someone notices may point to what you have been quietly practicing.

    Yung change na sana mapansin nila baka yun yung tahimik mong pinapractice nitong season.

  4. Which version of your past self are you starting to understand more now?

    Aling version ng past self mo ang nagsisimula mong mas maintindihan ngayon?

    Back of the card

    Understanding your past self does not erase what happened. It can soften the way you hold the person you were.

    Hindi binubura ng understanding ang nangyari. Pero puwede nitong palambutin kung paano mo hinahawakan yung dating ikaw.

How to use them

Before you ask

Asking your parents about their life story is one of those things people mean to do and keep putting off, until a birthday, a diagnosis or a funeral makes it urgent. You don’t need a crisis or a professional interviewer. You need a few good questions, in order, and a phone recording on the table.

Go chronologically. Start with childhood, because early memories are vivid and easy: the first detail of home that comes to mind, a game that kept them busy for hours. Then leaving home and new places, then the choices that shaped their life. Ending with looking back, like what good news they’d tell their younger self, gives the conversation a natural close.

Don’t do it in one sitting. A chapter per visit or per Sunday call keeps it from feeling like an interview and gives them time to remember more between sessions. Many parents start bringing stories to the next call on their own.

Good for

  • A parent’s milestone birthday
  • Sunday calls with parents far away
  • Grown kids starting a family of their own
  • Family history projects
  • Holidays when everyone is home

Tips

  1. Go in life order; it makes remembering easier.
  2. Record audio only, phone face down.
  3. Ask “and then what happened?” more than new questions.
  4. Bring an old photo to spark each chapter.
  5. Interview each parent separately; they tell different stories.

Decks for this

How to record your parents’ story

Ask first whether they’re comfortable being recorded; most say yes once they see it’s a phone on the table, not a camera crew.

  • Use your phone’s voice memo app and put it face down. Out of sight, people forget it’s there.
  • One chapter per session, twenty to forty minutes. Stop while they still have more to say.
  • Ask follow-ups like “who else was there?” and “what did it smell like?” Details make stories.
  • Share it back: send the recording or a short written version to siblings. It often prompts more stories.

Your parents’ life story

Frequently asked questions

What questions should I ask my parents about their life?

Go in order: the first detail of their childhood home, a game that kept them busy for hours, what helped them feel welcome somewhere new, how they decided when plans changed, and what good news they’d tell their younger self.

How do I interview my parents about their life?

Ask permission to record, go one life chapter per sitting, and ask follow-ups instead of rushing to the next question. Stop while it’s still enjoyable.

How is this different from family history questions?

These follow one parent’s own life. Family history questions look wider, at relatives, places and what gets passed down.

Bring a better question to the table.

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