Questions · Mother and daughter
Mother-daughter questions you both answer
Questions for a mother and daughter to ask each other, with both of you answering every one: easy ones over coffee, then and now, how you see each other, and what you hope for each other.
- 16 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
When you try a place to eat, what makes it feel worth visiting again?
Kapag may tinry kang kainan, ano yung nagpapaisip sa'yo na worth balikan ito?
It could be taste, comfort, price, people, or memory. Places become favorites for different reasons.
Puwedeng lasa, comfort, presyo, tao, o memory. Iba-iba yung dahilan kung bakit may places tayong binabalikan.
The questions
16 mother-daughter questions
Both of you answer each card. The point is to hear the other side.
Over coffee
5 questions
Easy, mutual, and a reason to plan the next outing.
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What is one thing you like that you no longer feel the need to explain?
Ano yung isang bagay na gusto mo na hindi mo na kailangang i-explain?
Back of the card
Some preferences do not need a courtroom defense. They can simply be yours, confidently and without a long speech.
May preferences na hindi kailangan ng courtroom defense. Sa'yo lang siya, confident, walang mahabang explanation.
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When you try a place to eat, what makes it feel worth visiting again?
Kapag may tinry kang kainan, ano yung nagpapaisip sa'yo na worth balikan ito?
Back of the card
It could be taste, comfort, price, people, or memory. Places become favorites for different reasons.
Puwedeng lasa, comfort, presyo, tao, o memory. Iba-iba yung dahilan kung bakit may places tayong binabalikan.
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What meal with a friend became memorable for something besides the food?
Anong kainan ninyo ng friend ang tumatak dahil sa nangyari, hindi lang dahil sa pagkain?
Back of the card
If this meal's story had a title, what would it be?
Kung may pamagat ang kuwento ng kainan na ito, ano iyon?
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Choose a nearby place you would like to explore with a friend.
Pumili ng malapit na lugar na gusto mong puntahan kasama ang friend.
Back of the card
Imagine finding an unexpected favorite corner there.
Isipin na may makikita kang sulok doon na magiging paborito mo.
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Choose a simple way friends could celebrate your birthday without spending much.
Pumili ng simpleng paraan para i-celebrate ng friends ang birthday mo nang hindi gumagastos nang malaki.
Back of the card
One detail can be just for you: the music, the timing, or something else you love.
Puwedeng may isang detalye para talaga sa'yo: music, oras, o iba pang gusto mo.
Then and now
4 questions
What each of you carried from childhood, and what changed.
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From when you were younger, what habit or interest do you still carry now?
Mula nung bata ka, anong habit o hilig ang dala mo pa rin ngayon?
Back of the card
Some parts of us do not disappear; they just grow up with us. It can be nice to notice what stayed.
May parts tayo na hindi naman nawawala; lumalaki lang kasama natin. Nakakatuwang mapansin kung ano yung naiwan.
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As you got older, which habit at home started to make more sense to you?
Habang tumatanda ka, anong habit sa bahay ninyo ang mas nagme-make sense na sa'yo ngayon?
Back of the card
Getting older can change the way you see home. A habit may look different once you know more of the story.
Habang tumatanda, nag-iiba rin minsan ang tingin natin sa bahay. May habit na mas naiintindihan kapag alam mo na ang kuwento.
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Tell us about a small thing you can do now that would have amazed you as a kid.
Kuwento mo yung maliit na bagay na kaya mo na ngayon na maa-amaze ka kung bata ka pa.
Back of the card
Progress can look ordinary from the outside. But younger you might know exactly how big that ordinary thing is.
Mukhang ordinaryo minsan ang progress. Pero baka alam ng batang ikaw kung gaano kalaki yung ordinaryong bagay na yan.
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Describe one thing that feels different about you lately.
I-describe ang isang bagay na parang nag-iba sa'yo lately.
Back of the card
Change often shows up quietly before anyone else notices. Giving it words helps you see it more clearly.
Minsan tahimik lang dumadating ang pagbabago bago mapansin ng iba. Kapag nilagyan mo ng words, mas malinaw mo siyang nakikita.
Seeing each other
4 questions
When you feel seen, and when it’s easiest to talk.
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When we are around other people, what makes you feel seen by me?
Kapag may ibang tao sa paligid, ano yung nagpaparamdam sa'yo na napapansin pa rin kita?
Back of the card
Being seen around others can feel deeply reassuring. It shows your connection still matters, even when people are watching.
Nakakapanatag kapag ramdam mong nakikita ka kahit may ibang tao. Pinapakita nito na mahalaga pa rin ang connection ninyo, kahit may nakakakita.
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When is it easiest for you to have a serious conversation with me?
Kailan mas madali para sa'yo makipag-usap sa akin tungkol sa serious na bagay?
Back of the card
Good timing does not make hard topics disappear. It just helps both people stay calmer, clearer, and more present.
Hindi nawawala ang hard topics dahil sa good timing. Pero nakakatulong ito para mas kalmado, malinaw, at present kayong dalawa.
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What is one thing I can say during a hard talk that helps you feel heard?
Ano yung puwede kong sabihin sa hard talk na nagpaparamdam sa'yo na naririnig kita?
Back of the card
Feeling heard often matters before finding a solution. A few clear words can help lower the need to defend.
Madalas mas kailangan munang maramdaman na narinig ka bago maghanap ng solution. Ilang malinaw na salita, puwedeng magpababa ng defense.
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How would you want a friend to tell you that something you did bothered them?
Paano mo gustong sabihin ng friend na may ginawa kang hindi nila nagustuhan?
Back of the card
You can imagine a simple example. Would you prefer a message or a private talk?
Puwedeng simpleng halimbawa lang. Mas gusto mo ba ng message o pribadong usapan?
Hopes for each other
3 questions
What you’re each growing toward.
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Name one small wish you have for yourself this year.
Ano yung isang maliit na wish mo para sa sarili mo this year?
Back of the card
Small wishes can still be honest. They may be easier to say out loud because they do not demand a perfect life.
Maliit man yung wish, honest pa rin. Minsan mas madaling sabihin kasi hindi niya hinihingi na perfect ang buhay.
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Name something you are outgrowing, even if you still care about it.
Magsabi ng isang bagay na parang ino-outgrow mo na, kahit may care ka pa rin doon.
Back of the card
Outgrowing something does not always mean rejecting it. Sometimes it means honoring what was real while making room to change.
Hindi laging rejection ang pag-outgrow. Minsan pag-honor siya sa naging totoo, habang gumagawa ng space para magbago.
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Say one brave thing you can admit you want.
Sabihin ang isang brave na bagay na kaya mong aminin na gusto mo.
Back of the card
Wanting can feel risky when the answer is not guaranteed. Naming the desire is already a brave kind of honesty.
Risky minsan umamin ng gusto mo kapag walang guarantee. Pero courage na rin yung kaya mo siyang sabihin nang honest.
How to use them
Before you ask
Mother-daughter questions work best when both of you answer. A mom asking her daughter questions can feel like an interview; a daughter asking her mom can feel like research. When you both answer the same card, you hear how differently two people in the same family see the same thing.
Many mother-daughter relationships run on a familiar loop: the same advice, the same worry, the same argument about the same thing. The “seeing each other” group is a way out of it. When is it easiest for each of you to have a serious conversation? What can one of you say during a hard talk that helps the other feel heard? Knowing that changes the next hard talk.
These work for teens and their moms, and for grown daughters and their mothers. With a grown daughter, “then and now” often reveals the habits from home that started to make sense once she had her own place.
Good for
Tips
- Both answer every card; take turns going first.
- Don’t correct each other’s memories.
- Agree beforehand that either of you can pass.
- Ask the “seeing each other” questions on a good day.
- Make it a monthly date, same café if you can.
Decks for this
Mother and daughter
Frequently asked questions
What are good mother-daughter questions?
Questions you both answer: a place to eat worth going back to, a habit from childhood you still carry, when it’s easiest to have a serious talk with each other, and one wish for yourself this year.
How can a mother and daughter get closer?
Spend regular one-on-one time, ask questions you both answer, and learn when and how each of you prefers to talk about hard things. Listening without correcting matters more than agreeing.
Are these for teens or adult daughters?
Both. Teens tend to like the coffee and then-and-now cards; grown daughters often go furthest with the hopes.
Bring a better question to the table.
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