Questions · New Year’s resolutions

Questions to ask before you make a New Year’s resolution

Resolution questions for January 1, or the week before it: alone, with a partner or with friends who want to keep each other honest. They start with how your days actually go, then shrink the goal until it fits.

  • 17 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Reflect№ 25

Pick one habit you want to adjust in a small, realistic way.

Pumili ng isang habit na gusto mong i-adjust sa maliit at realistic na way.

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A note

Change does not have to be dramatic. One small adjustment can make tomorrow a little kinder.

Hindi kailangang dramatic ang change. Puwedeng isang maliit na adjustment lang para mas kinder ang bukas.

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The questions

17 questions for New Year’s resolutions

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

Before you write anything down

4 questions

What is really shaping your weeks right now.

  1. Name one small choice that keeps affecting your mood, like sleep, food, screen time, movement, or who you talk to.

    Magbanggit ng isang small choice na paulit-ulit na nakakaapekto sa mood mo, like tulog, food, screen time, galaw, o kung sino ang kausap mo.

    Back of the card

    Small choices become loud when they repeat. Noticing one can give you a kinder place to start.

    Lumalaki ang epekto ng maliit na choice kapag paulit-ulit. Kapag napansin mo ang isa, may mas gentle kang starting point.

  2. Name one choice you keep repeating that you want to understand better.

    Magbanggit ng isang choice na paulit-ulit mong ginagawa at gusto mong mas maintindihan.

    Back of the card

    Repeated choices are quiet storytellers. Looking closer can help you ask what they are protecting, feeding, or avoiding.

    Tahimik magkuwento ang paulit-ulit na choices. Kapag tiningnan mo nang mas malapit, makikita mo kung ano ang pinoprotektahan, pinapakain, o iniiwasan nila.

  3. Pick one distraction you understand, but want to handle better.

    Pumili ng isang distraction na gets mo, pero gusto mong i-handle better.

    Back of the card

    A distraction can make sense and still need care. Understanding it helps you change it without turning cruel toward yourself.

    Puwedeng gets mo ang distraction at kailangan pa rin siyang alagaan. Mas madali siyang baguhin kapag hindi ka harsh sa sarili mo.

  4. Point to one pattern you notice in your week, like energy, mood, time, habits, or relationships.

    Magbanggit ng isang pattern na napapansin mo sa week mo, like energy, mood, time, habits, o relationships.

    Back of the card

    Understanding a pattern is already movement. You do not have to fix everything before you begin to notice.

    Movement na rin yung maintindihan ang pattern. Hindi mo kailangang ayusin agad lahat bago ka magsimulang makapansin.

Smaller than a resolution

7 questions

Changes sized for a normal Tuesday, not for New Year’s Day energy.

  1. Pick one habit you want to adjust in a small, realistic way.

    Pumili ng isang habit na gusto mong i-adjust sa maliit at realistic na way.

    Back of the card

    Change does not have to be dramatic. One small adjustment can make tomorrow a little kinder.

    Hindi kailangang dramatic ang change. Puwedeng isang maliit na adjustment lang para mas kinder ang bukas.

  2. What have you been putting off that might bring relief once you start?

    Ano yung matagal mo nang pinapabukas na baka gumaan kapag nasimulan mo na?

    Back of the card

    Starting can be the hardest part because it makes the thing real. Relief may come before everything is finished.

    Minsan pinakamahirap magsimula kasi nagiging real na yung bagay. Pero minsan nauunang dumating ang relief bago matapos lahat.

  3. If you had one free hour every week, what hobby would you go back to?

    Kung may isang free hour ka every week, anong hobby ang babalikan mo?

    Back of the card

    A hobby you miss can point to a part of you that still wants some space.

    Yung hobby na nami-miss mo minsan tumuturo sa part ng sarili mo na gusto pa rin ng konting space.

  4. What would you like to make more time for this month?

    Ano ang gusto mong bigyan ng mas maraming oras ngayong buwan?

    Back of the card

    Imagine an extra afternoon opens up. Would you spend it all on this or leave some time free?

    Isipin na nabakante ang isang hapon. Ilalaan mo ba lahat ng oras dito o magtitira ka pa ng libreng oras?

  5. Name one thing that would make next month feel a little lighter.

    Magbanggit ng isang bagay na makakatulong para mas gumaan nang konti ang next month.

    Back of the card

    A lighter month does not have to mean a perfect one. Even one less weight can change how a season feels.

    Hindi kailangang perfect ang mas magaan na month. Kahit isang bawas na bigat, iba na ang pakiramdam ng season.

  6. What might you need to say no to, pause, or limit so your week feels lighter?

    Ano yung kailangan mong hihindian, i-pause, o limitahan para mas gumaan ang week mo?

    Back of the card

    A boundary is not always a wall. Sometimes it is a small line that helps you stay present and honest.

    Hindi laging pader ang boundary. Minsan maliit na line lang siya para mas present at honest ka.

  7. Which language would you learn instantly if you woke up fluent tomorrow?

    Kung paggising mo bukas ay marunong ka na ng isang bagong language, ano ang pipiliin mo?

    Back of the card

    Choose the first person you would like to talk to in that language.

    Piliin ang unang taong gusto mong makausap gamit ang wikang iyon.

Making it last past February

6 questions

Courage, celebration and the people who can help.

  1. What helps you keep going when the next step is not clear?

    Ano ang tumutulong sa'yo magpatuloy kapag hindi pa clear ang next step?

    Back of the card

    You do not need the whole map to keep moving carefully. Sometimes enough light for one step is still enough.

    Hindi mo kailangan ng buong mapa para gumalaw nang maingat. Minsan sapat na ang konting linaw para sa isang step.

  2. After finishing something hard, how do you usually celebrate or recover?

    Kapag natapos mo ang mahirap na bagay, paano ka usually nagse-celebrate o nagre-recover?

    Back of the card

    Finishing something hard deserves a landing. Some people mark it loudly; some just need a quiet exhale.

    Kapag may natapos kang mahirap, kailangan din ng landing. May nagse-celebrate nang malakas; may tahimik na hinga lang.

  3. What goal would you like to reach and celebrate with friends?

    Anong goal ang gusto mong maabot at i-celebrate kasama ang friends?

    Back of the card

    Pick the celebration's mood: quiet, silly, or a little of both.

    Piliin ang gusto mong celebration: tahimik, makulit, o kaunti ng pareho.

  4. When learning something new, what help do you like from a friend?

    Kapag may bago kang inaaral, anong tulong ang gusto mo mula sa friend?

    Back of the card

    Show me once, let me try, or stay beside me — which help would you choose?

    Ipakita muna, hayaan akong sumubok, o samahan ako — alin ang pipiliin mong tulong?

  5. Where do you need a little more courage this week?

    Saan mo kailangan ng konting dagdag courage this week?

    Back of the card

    Courage does not always look big. Sometimes it is one honest message, one boundary, or one careful next step.

    Hindi laging malaki ang courage. Minsan isang honest message, isang boundary, o isang maingat na next step lang.

  6. Describe a tiny routine you do even if nobody notices.

    I-describe yung tiny routine mo kahit walang nakakapansin.

    Back of the card

    Tiny routines can be private proof that you have your own way of moving through the day.

    Yung tiny routines, private proof minsan na may sarili kang way gumalaw sa araw, sa sarili mong style.

How to use them

Before you ask

The question to ask before any New Year’s resolution is what already shapes your days: the small choice about sleep, screens or food that keeps affecting your mood. A resolution that changes that one thing will do more than a big promise built on how you wish your days went.

Resolutions usually fail for ordinary reasons. They’re too big, they assume a free hour you don’t have, and nobody else knows about them. The middle set of questions shrinks a goal to something you could do on a tired weekday. The last set is about keeping it going: who could help, how you’ll celebrate, what you’ll do when the next step isn’t clear.

These questions also work out loud. Ask a partner or a friend the same ones over New Year’s Day breakfast, then check in on each other in March.

Good for

  • Setting goals on New Year’s Day
  • Couples planning the year together
  • Friends who keep each other accountable
  • Teams doing a light January kickoff
  • Anyone restarting a resolution in February

Tips

  1. Choose one change, not five. You can always add another in March.
  2. Write the goal as a question and put it somewhere you’ll see it weekly.
  3. Tell one person, and ask them to ask you about it on a set date.
  4. Plan a small celebration for the first month you keep it.
  5. If you slip, ask what got in the way before you decide to quit.

Decks for this

Turn the resolution into a question

A resolution is a statement about the future, and statements are easy to break quietly. A question keeps the door open. Instead of “I will exercise every day”, ask “what would make moving feel easier this week?” and answer it again every Sunday.

Some swaps that tend to last longer than the original promise:

  • “Read more” becomes “which hobby would I go back to with one free hour a week?”
  • “Less phone” becomes “which distraction do I understand, and want to handle better?”
  • “Be healthier” becomes “which small choice keeps affecting my mood?”
  • “Finally do the thing” becomes “what am I avoiding that would feel lighter once it’s begun?”

New Year’s resolutions

Frequently asked questions

What questions should I ask myself before making New Year’s resolutions?

Ask what small choice keeps affecting your mood, which habit could change in one small, realistic step, what you keep avoiding, and what would help you keep going when it gets hard.

Why do most New Year’s resolutions fail?

They are usually too big, built for an ideal week instead of a real one, and kept secret. Smaller changes, checked weekly and shared with one person, tend to last longer.

How can couples or friends set resolutions together?

Answer the same questions over breakfast on New Year’s Day, pick one goal each, and agree on a date to check in. Hearing each other’s answers makes it easier to help.

Bring a better question to the table.

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