Questions · Seniors
Conversation starters for seniors that invite a story
For grandchildren visiting, volunteers in a care home, neighbors dropping by. These questions treat older adults as the storytellers and experts they are, and are easy to answer on good days and slower ones.
- 18 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
What small things make a room feel welcoming to you?
Anong maliliit na bagay ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka sa isang room?
Welcome can come from tone, space, food, faces, or small signals that say you do not have to prove yourself.
Puwedeng galing sa tono, space, pagkain, mukha ng tao, o maliliit na sign na hindi mo kailangang patunayan ang sarili mo.
The questions
18 conversation starters for older adults
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Easy openers for a visit
5 questions
Small, present-day questions to start gently. Bring an old photo for the last one.
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What small things make a room feel welcoming to you?
Anong maliliit na bagay ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka sa isang room?
Back of the card
Welcome can come from tone, space, food, faces, or small signals that say you do not have to prove yourself.
Puwedeng galing sa tono, space, pagkain, mukha ng tao, o maliliit na sign na hindi mo kailangang patunayan ang sarili mo.
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Which compliment from a friend made you smile recently?
Anong compliment mula sa friend ang nagpangiti sa'yo lately?
Back of the card
Did you believe it right away, or did it sink in later?
Naniwala ka ba agad, o saka mo lang ito naramdaman?
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Who do you enjoy eating with, even if the food is simple?
Sino yung masarap kasamang kumain kahit simple lang ang pagkain?
Back of the card
The company can change the meal. Some people make even ordinary food feel warmer.
Iba ang pagkain kapag okay ang kasama. May mga taong kahit simpleng meal, gumagaan yung moment.
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Share one simple kindness someone showed you recently.
Mag-share ng simple kindness na pinakita sa'yo recently.
Back of the card
Small kindness can become a quiet picture of God's care. It does not need to be big to stay with you.
Yung simple kindness, puwedeng maging maliit na picture ng care ni Lord. Hindi kailangang grand para maalala mo.
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What detail do you notice first in an old photo with a friend?
Anong detalye ang una mong napapansin sa lumang photo kasama ang friend?
Back of the card
No need to show it. Would you keep that detail in a photo taken today?
Hindi kailangang ipakita. Gusto mo bang makita pa rin ang detalyeng iyon sa photo ngayon?
Stories they might love telling
8 questions
Skills, places, first times, the songs of their life.
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As you got older, which habit at home started to make more sense to you?
Habang tumatanda ka, anong habit sa bahay ninyo ang mas nagme-make sense na sa'yo ngayon?
Back of the card
Getting older can change the way you see home. A habit may look different once you know more of the story.
Habang tumatanda, nag-iiba rin minsan ang tingin natin sa bahay. May habit na mas naiintindihan kapag alam mo na ang kuwento.
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Back when you were a kid, what game or activity could keep you busy for hours?
Nung bata ka, anong laro o activity ang kaya mong pagkaabalahan nang ilang oras?
Back of the card
Childhood focus has its own sweetness. It remembers a time when getting lost in play was enough.
May sariling saya yung focus nung bata tayo. Naalala nito yung panahon na sapat na ang maglaro nang maglaro.
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Share the first time you did something on your own and felt more capable afterward.
Ikuwento ang unang beses mong gumawa ng isang bagay mag-isa at naisip mong, "Kaya ko pala."
Back of the card
Finish if you like: "That was when I realized I could..."
Kung gusto mo, ituloy: "Doon ko naisip na kaya ko palang..."
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Tell us about a food that reminds you of someone taking care of you.
Ikuwento yung pagkain na nagpapaalala sa'yo ng alaga ng isang tao.
Back of the card
Food can carry care without needing big words. Sometimes the simple act of feeding someone well becomes a memory by itself.
Kayang magdala ng care ang pagkain kahit walang malaking salita. Minsan yung simpleng pag-alaga sa pagkain, nagiging memory na.
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What day from the past would you like to watch?
Anong araw sa nakaraan ang gusto mong mapanood?
Back of the card
Pause on one scene from that day. Which detail would you want to look at longer?
Huminto muna sa isang eksena ng araw na iyon. Anong detalye ang gusto mong tingnan nang mas matagal?
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Tell us about a place that left a memory or feeling you still carry.
Ikuwento yung lugar na may iniwang memory o feeling na dala mo pa rin.
Back of the card
Some places stay with us quietly. You may not notice it right away, but later you realize you carried something from there.
May mga lugar na tahimik lang ang iniiwan sa atin. Hindi mo agad napapansin, pero may dala ka pala mula roon.
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Which song takes you back to a particular time with friends?
Anong kanta ang nagpapaalala sa'yo ng isang panahon ninyo ng friends mo?
Back of the card
Picture where everyone was when the song came on.
Isipin kung nasaan ang lahat noong tumugtog ang kanta.
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Who taught you a work or school habit you still use, and what was it?
Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng work o school habit na gamit mo pa rin, at ano yun?
Back of the card
Some habits come from people who modeled them first. Their way of doing things can quietly become part of yours.
May habits na galing sa taong nauna lang magpakita. Tahimik mong nadadala yung style nila hanggang maging part na rin ng style mo.
People who mattered
5 questions
Friends, teachers, kind words and meals they still remember.
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Tell us about a friend who made you feel like you belonged.
Ikuwento yung friend na nagparamdam sa'yo na belong ka.
Back of the card
Inclusion can happen through one seat saved, one question asked, or one person making room on purpose.
Minsan isang upuang tinabi, isang tanong, o isang taong sinadyang magtabi ng space ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka.
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Who is someone you respect for the way they live, even in small things?
Sino yung taong nirerespeto mo sa paraan ng buhay niya, kahit sa maliliit na bagay?
Back of the card
Respect often begins with small, steady things. A simple habit can show a lot about how someone moves through life.
Madalas nagsisimula ang respeto sa maliliit pero consistent na bagay. May simpleng habit na maraming sinasabi tungkol sa isang tao.
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Which compliment have you remembered long after someone said it?
Anong compliment ang tumatak sa'yo kahit matagal na itong sinabi?
Back of the card
The exact words are optional. Notice which part of the compliment stayed with you.
Hindi kailangan ang eksaktong salita. Balikan kung aling bahagi ng papuri ang tumatak sa'yo.
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What useful skill did someone patiently teach you?
Anong kasanayan ang matiyagang itinuro sa'yo ng isang tao?
Back of the card
Imagine you are teaching the skill now. What would you show a beginner first?
Isipin na ikaw naman ang nagtuturo nito. Ano ang una mong ipapakita sa baguhan?
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What meal with a friend became memorable for something besides the food?
Anong kainan ninyo ng friend ang tumatak dahil sa nangyari, hindi lang dahil sa pagkain?
Back of the card
If this meal's story had a title, what would it be?
Kung may pamagat ang kuwento ng kainan na ito, ano iyon?
How to use them
Before you ask
The best conversation starters for seniors invite a story rather than test a memory: who taught you a skill you still use, a place that stayed with you, a song that takes you back.
Visits with older relatives or care-home residents often get stuck in a loop of health, weather and “Have you eaten?”. Those questions are kind, but they put the person in the role of patient. Asking about the useful skill someone taught them, the first time they did something on their own or a compliment they still remember puts them back in the role of the one who knows things, which most people miss as they age.
Sit at eye level, ask one question at a time and give plenty of time to answer. Follow their story wherever it goes, even if it drifts. If they repeat a story they’ve told before, listen as though it’s the first time. The telling matters more than the facts.
Good for
Tips
- Ask about stories and feelings, not dates and names.
- Give twice as much time as feels natural for an answer.
- Bring something to look at: an old photo, a song on your phone, a familiar food.
- Let them ask you questions back. It keeps it a conversation, not an interview.
- Write down a story you heard and bring it up on your next visit.
Decks for this
If memory is fading
Many older adults remember the distant past more clearly than last week. Lean on that. Ask about feelings and senses (a song, a meal, a place) rather than dates and names, and never quiz: “Do you remember me?” or “What year was that?” can cause real distress. If an answer doesn’t match the facts, let it be. The aim is connection, not accuracy. Care staff and family can tell you which topics bring joy and which to avoid.
Seniors
Frequently asked questions
What are good conversation starters for seniors?
Questions that invite stories: who taught them a useful skill, a place that left a memory, a song that takes them back, a compliment they still remember. They respect the person’s experience and are easy to answer.
What should I talk about with an elderly person in a care home?
Start with small present-day questions about their room, a recent compliment or a kindness they noticed, then ask about their past: work, skills, places and people. Follow their lead and avoid quizzing their memory.
How do I talk with an older relative who has memory loss?
Ask about feelings, senses and the distant past rather than recent events, don’t correct details, and avoid “Do you remember…?” questions. Caregivers can tell you which topics bring comfort.
Can these questions be read in another language?
Every card also has a Filipino/Tagalog translation, which helps when visiting grandparents who prefer it.
Bring a better question to the table.
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