Questions · Tweens
Questions for tweens that don’t feel babyish
Questions for ten- to twelve-year-olds, who are too old for “what’s your favorite color” and not yet ready for a heart-to-heart. Who they are this year, friends and the group chat, school, and a few braver ones.
- 18 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
How would you want a friend to tell you that something you did bothered them?
Paano mo gustong sabihin ng friend na may ginawa kang hindi nila nagustuhan?
You can imagine a simple example. Would you prefer a message or a private talk?
Puwedeng simpleng halimbawa lang. Mas gusto mo ba ng message o pribadong usapan?
The questions
18 questions to ask tweens
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Who you are this year
5 questions
Tweens are trying on identities. These let them describe one, playfully.
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Choose a fake job title that fits your personality.
Pumili ng fake job title na bagay sa personality mo.
Back of the card
A fake title can be more accurate than a real one. It gives a playful name to the thing people already notice.
Minsan mas accurate pa ang fake title kaysa real one. Binibigyan lang niya ng playful name yung napapansin na ng tao.
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Name the song that should play when you enter a room.
Sabihin yung song na dapat tumugtog pagpasok mo sa room.
Back of the card
An entrance song is mostly about energy. It says what kind of moment you want everyone to feel.
Yung entrance song, energy talaga ang usapan. Sinasabi niya kung anong moment ang gusto mong dala.
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Pick a mascot for your current mood: sleepy, dramatic, cheerful, chaotic, or something else.
Pumili ng mascot para sa current mood mo: sleepy, dramatic, cheerful, chaotic, o iba pa.
Back of the card
Current mood is sometimes easier to explain through a mascot. It can be tired, dramatic, cheerful, or strangely accurate.
Minsan mas madaling i-explain ang current mood gamit mascot. Puwedeng pagod, dramatic, cheerful, o weirdly accurate.
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Which part of your personality has been showing up more lately?
Anong part ng personality mo ang mas lumalabas lately?
Back of the card
The parts showing up may be asking to be noticed, used, or cared for. Curiosity can be a gentle start.
Yung parts na mas lumalabas, baka gusto lang mapansin, magamit, o maalagaan. Puwedeng curiosity muna ang start.
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What line do your friends often hear you say?
Anong linya ang madalas marinig ng friends mo sa'yo?
Back of the card
Imagine your usual line printed on a shirt.
Isipin na naka-print sa shirt ang madalas mong sabihin.
Friends and the group chat
6 questions
The social world is the main event now. Ask about it without prying.
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What do you usually send in the group chat: updates, memes, reactions, or something else?
Ano ang madalas mong ipadala sa group chat: updates, memes, reactions, o iba pa?
Back of the card
If your messages had a signature, what would it be: an emoji, a phrase, or something else?
Kung may tatak ang messages mo, ano iyon: emoji, linya, o iba pa?
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In a group, which role feels most natural to you: listener, storyteller, organizer, or side-comment person?
Sa group, anong role yung natural sa'yo: listener, taga-kuwento, organizer, o taga-side comment?
Back of the card
Group roles can shift, but most of us have a default. It is one way people learn how to read us.
Nagbabago minsan ang role sa group, pero madalas may default tayo. Doon din tayo minsan nababasa ng mga tao.
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When joining friends for an activity, what helps you feel included?
Kapag may activity ang friends, ano ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka rin?
Back of the card
Being invited and being able to join are not always the same thing.
Hindi laging pareho ang niyayaya ka at ang kaya mong sumali.
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What playful side of you comes out around close friends?
Anong makulit na side mo ang lumalabas kapag kasama ang close friends?
Back of the card
You do not have to perform it here. A description is enough.
Hindi kailangang gawin iyon dito. Sapat nang ikuwento.
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How would you want a friend to tell you that something you did bothered them?
Paano mo gustong sabihin ng friend na may ginawa kang hindi nila nagustuhan?
Back of the card
You can imagine a simple example. Would you prefer a message or a private talk?
Puwedeng simpleng halimbawa lang. Mas gusto mo ba ng message o pribadong usapan?
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How can friends tell when you are excited about something?
Paano nahahalata ng friends na excited ka sa isang bagay?
Back of the card
Think of the sign you notice in yourself before anyone else does.
Isipin ang senyales na napapansin mo sa sarili mo bago pa mapansin ng iba.
School days
4 questions
How they work and who they look out for, not their grades.
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When you enter a classroom, meeting room, or café, where do you usually choose to sit?
Pagpasok mo sa classroom, meeting room, o café, saan ka usually pumipili umupo?
Back of the card
Seat choices can reveal comfort, strategy, or pure habit. Somehow we all have a spot our body chooses first.
May sinasabi rin yung seat choice: comfort, strategy, o habit lang talaga. Minsan katawan na ang pumipili.
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If someone worked or studied with you for one week, what would they notice about your style?
Kung may makakasama ka sa work o school for one week, ano kaya ang mapapansin nila sa style mo?
Back of the card
Your style may show in pace, focus, questions, breaks, or how you handle pressure. People notice more than we think.
Pwedeng lumabas ang style mo sa pace, focus, tanong, breaks, o paano ka humarap sa pressure. Marami palang napapansin ang tao.
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How could you help a friend who was new to a school or neighborhood?
Paano mo matutulungan ang friend na bago sa isang school o lugar?
Back of the card
Being shown where things are or having someone stay nearby — either might help.
Puwedeng makatulong ang ituro kung nasaan ang mga bagay o ang samahan lang sila.
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Tell us about a small thing you can do now that would have amazed you as a kid.
Kuwento mo yung maliit na bagay na kaya mo na ngayon na maa-amaze ka kung bata ka pa.
Back of the card
Progress can look ordinary from the outside. But younger you might know exactly how big that ordinary thing is.
Mukhang ordinaryo minsan ang progress. Pero baka alam ng batang ikaw kung gaano kalaki yung ordinaryong bagay na yan.
Braver stuff
3 questions
For when they’re relaxed and you’re not rushing anywhere.
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Recall the last time you tried something new just because you were curious.
Ikuwento ang huling beses na sumubok ka ng bago dahil curious ka lang.
Back of the card
Would you try it again, or was once enough?
Susubukan mo ba ulit, o sapat na ang minsan?
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Where do you need a little more courage this week?
Saan mo kailangan ng konting dagdag courage this week?
Back of the card
Courage does not always look big. Sometimes it is one honest message, one boundary, or one careful next step.
Hindi laging malaki ang courage. Minsan isang honest message, isang boundary, o isang maingat na next step lang.
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Which compliment have you remembered long after someone said it?
Anong compliment ang tumatak sa'yo kahit matagal na itong sinabi?
Back of the card
The exact words are optional. Notice which part of the compliment stayed with you.
Hindi kailangan ang eksaktong salita. Balikan kung aling bahagi ng papuri ang tumatak sa'yo.
How to use them
Before you ask
Tweens want to be asked real questions, just not in a way that feels like a check-up. Between ten and twelve, kids start caring a lot about who they are in front of their friends: their role in the group, their catchphrase, the song that should play when they walk in. Questions that let them describe that, with a bit of humor, get answers.
What goes wrong is tone. A tween will shut down a question that sounds like you’re collecting evidence (“who are you texting?”) and open up to the same topic asked as curiosity (“what do you usually send in the group chat?”). Keep the friend questions about them, not about other kids’ business.
Use the braver cards when there’s no audience: a drive, a walk, the last ten minutes before lights out. And let them ask you back. Tweens are surprisingly curious about what their parents were like at their age.
Good for
Tips
- Ask while you’re driving or cooking. Less eye contact means less pressure.
- Answer as your eleven-year-old self; it’s funnier and it builds trust.
- Don’t repeat what they tell you about friends to other parents.
- If they roll their eyes, try a sillier card instead of dropping the habit.
- Let them pick the card. Choosing is half the fun at this age.
Decks for this
Tweens
Frequently asked questions
What are good questions to ask a tween?
Questions about who they are now and how their friend world works: the fake job title that fits them, their usual role in a group, what helps them feel included. Keep school questions about how they work, not how they scored.
How do I talk to my tween without it feeling like an interrogation?
Ask one playful question at a time, side by side rather than face to face, and answer it yourself as your younger self. Curiosity sounds different from monitoring, and tweens can hear the difference.
How are tween questions different from teenager questions?
Tween questions stay lighter and more playful, with more about identity and friendship basics. Teenagers can handle more about pressure, the future and the people they’re becoming.
Bring a better question to the table.
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