Questions · Boyfriend

Questions to ask your boyfriend that get more than one word back

Questions to ask your boyfriend on a night in, a long walk or a drive with the music turned down. Easy ones first, then the boy he used to be, then the things he doesn’t usually bring up.

  • 26 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Getting to know№ 28

When you were younger, what got you excited quickly?

Nung bata ka, ano yung madaling maka-excite sa'yo?

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A note

Early excitement can be fun to remember. It can also show what kind of wonder came naturally to you.

Nakakatuwang balikan yung madaling ika-excite mo dati. Minsan pinapakita rin nito kung anong klaseng wonder ang natural sa'yo.

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The questions

26 questions to ask your boyfriend

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

Easy ones for a regular night in

10 questions

Small opinions and habits. Quick to answer, fun to argue with.

  1. When do you feel most at ease, or comfortable with me?

    Kailan ka pinaka-komportable at magaan kapag kasama mo ako?

    Back of the card

    Ease is worth noticing too. It shows what already helps the relationship breathe without trying too hard.

    Worth pansinin din yung gaan. Ipinapakita nito kung ano na yung tumutulong sa relationship na huminga nang hindi pinipilit.

  2. What kind of greeting from me makes you feel most welcomed?

    Anong klaseng bati mula sa akin ang pinaka-nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka?

    Back of the card

    The way you greet each other matters. Even a small hello can make coming back to each other feel warmer.

    Mahalaga kung paano ninyo binabati ang isa't isa. Kahit simpleng hello, puwedeng gawing mas warm ang pagbalik ninyo sa isa't isa.

  3. What little thing do I do that makes ordinary days feel better?

    Ano sa maliliit kong ginagawa ang nagpapagaan ng ordinary days natin?

    Back of the card

    Small care counts because it repeats. Naming it helps both of you notice the quiet ways love already shows up.

    Mahalaga yung maliit na care kasi paulit-ulit siya. Kapag nasabi, mas napapansin ninyo kung paano lumalabas ang love sa ordinary days.

  4. Name one small, specific thing you enjoy more than people expect.

    Magbanggit ng isang maliit at specific na bagay na mas enjoy mo kaysa ina-expect ng iba.

    Back of the card

    Specific joys can be tiny clues about a person. They do not need to make sense to everyone to be real.

    Yung specific joys, maliit na clue tungkol sa tao. Hindi kailangan gets ng lahat para maging real.

  5. Confess one harmless habit you know is very you.

    I-confess yung harmless habit na very you talaga.

    Back of the card

    Harmless habits become part of your signature. They may be small, but people who know you probably notice.

    Yung harmless habits, nagiging signature mo rin. Maliit lang, pero napapansin yan ng mga nakakakilala sa'yo.

  6. Choose a fake job title that fits your personality.

    Pumili ng fake job title na bagay sa personality mo.

    Back of the card

    A fake title can be more accurate than a real one. It gives a playful name to the thing people already notice.

    Minsan mas accurate pa ang fake title kaysa real one. Binibigyan lang niya ng playful name yung napapansin na ng tao.

  7. Give yourself a funny award for something you are surprisingly good at.

    Bigyan mo sarili mo ng funny award para sa bagay na surprisingly magaling ka.

    Back of the card

    A funny award makes small talents official. Some skills may not belong on a resume, but they still deserve a ceremony.

    Ginagawang official ng funny award ang small talents. Hindi man pang-resume, deserve pa rin ng ceremony.

  8. Pitch one useless invention you would still buy.

    I-pitch ang useless invention na bibilhin mo pa rin.

    Back of the card

    A useless invention can still understand your heart. Sometimes the appeal is not usefulness, just delight.

    May useless invention na gets pa rin ang puso mo. Hindi laging usefulness ang point; minsan delight lang.

  9. Share one personal rule that only you seem to understand.

    Mag-share ng isang personal rule na ikaw lang yata ang nakakaintindi.

    Back of the card

    Personal rules can sound strange from the outside. From the inside, they usually have a very clear origin story.

    Minsan weird pakinggan ang personal rules sa iba. Pero sa'yo, usually may malinaw yang origin story.

  10. On a free day, what activity do you enjoy even if nothing gets done?

    Sa free day, anong activity ang enjoy gawin kahit wala kang natatapos?

    Back of the card

    Not every good thing needs to be useful. Some activities are good because they give the day room to breathe.

    Hindi lahat ng magandang gawin kailangang useful. May mga bagay na okay dahil binibigyan lang nila ng luwag yung araw.

The boy he used to be

7 questions

Childhood, first interests and the people who taught him things.

  1. When you were younger, what got you excited quickly?

    Nung bata ka, ano yung madaling maka-excite sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Early excitement can be fun to remember. It can also show what kind of wonder came naturally to you.

    Nakakatuwang balikan yung madaling ika-excite mo dati. Minsan pinapakita rin nito kung anong klaseng wonder ang natural sa'yo.

  2. Tell us about a small childhood memory you still remember clearly.

    Kuwento mo yung maliit na childhood memory na malinaw pa rin sa'yo.

    Back of the card

    The memories that stay are not always the biggest ones. Sometimes one small scene keeps its color for years.

    Hindi laging pinakamalaki ang memories na naiiwan. Minsan isang maliit na scene ang malinaw pa rin kahit ang tagal na.

  3. From when you were younger, what habit or interest do you still carry now?

    Mula nung bata ka, anong habit o hilig ang dala mo pa rin ngayon?

    Back of the card

    Some parts of us do not disappear; they just grow up with us. It can be nice to notice what stayed.

    May parts tayo na hindi naman nawawala; lumalaki lang kasama natin. Nakakatuwang mapansin kung ano yung naiwan.

  4. Who taught you a useful skill or habit you still use in daily life?

    Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng useful skill o habit na gamit mo pa rin sa daily life?

    Back of the card

    Practical lessons are easy to overlook, but they stay close. They show up in the small ways you move through a day.

    Madaling ma-overlook ang practical lessons, pero dala-dala mo pala. Lumalabas sila sa maliliit mong galaw araw-araw.

  5. If you had one free hour every week, what hobby would you go back to?

    Kung may isang free hour ka every week, anong hobby ang babalikan mo?

    Back of the card

    A hobby you miss can point to a part of you that still wants some space.

    Yung hobby na nami-miss mo minsan tumuturo sa part ng sarili mo na gusto pa rin ng konting space.

  6. What are you good at that your friends rarely get to see?

    Saan ka magaling na bihirang makita ng friends mo?

    Back of the card

    Imagine a friend seeing you do it for the first time.

    Isipin na unang nakita ng friend kung paano mo ito ginagawa.

  7. Tell us about something you used to avoid that feels less scary now.

    Kuwento mo yung dati mong iniiwasan pero hindi na ganun ka-scary ngayon.

    Back of the card

    Less scary is still movement. You do not have to be fearless to know something has changed.

    Movement pa rin ang less scary. Hindi mo kailangang maging fearless para malaman na may nagbago.

About the two of you

4 questions

Early memories and the small ways you notice each other.

  1. What was one early moment that made you feel comfortable with me?

    Ano yung nangyare lately na naging comfortable ka sa akin?

    Back of the card

    Early comfort often says a lot about what still matters now: safety, humor, patience, or being easy to talk to.

    Maraming sinasabi ang early comfort tungkol sa mahalaga pa rin ngayon: safety, humor, patience, o gaan kausap.

  2. When we were still getting to know each other, what moment first made you feel like we could become something real?

    Noong kinikilala pa natin ang isa't isa, anong moment yung unang nagparamdam sa'yo na puwede tayong maging something real?

    Back of the card

    This is not about pressure or measuring the relationship. It is simply remembering when being together first started to feel possible.

    Hindi ito tungkol sa pressure o pag-sukat ng relationship. Pag-alala lang ito sa moment na unang naramdaman mong possible pala tayo.

  3. When we are around other people, what makes you feel seen by me?

    Kapag may ibang tao sa paligid, ano yung nagpaparamdam sa'yo na napapansin pa rin kita?

    Back of the card

    Being seen around others can feel deeply reassuring. It shows your connection still matters, even when people are watching.

    Nakakapanatag kapag ramdam mong nakikita ka kahit may ibang tao. Pinapakita nito na mahalaga pa rin ang connection ninyo, kahit may nakakakita.

  4. What makes you feel like I am really paying attention to you?

    Ano yung nagpaparamdam sa'yo na talagang nakikinig at attentive ako?

    Back of the card

    Attention feels like love when it feels personal. Specific examples help your partner know what to keep doing.

    Mas ramdam ang love kapag personal ang attention. Kapag specific ang example, mas alam ng partner mo kung ano ang ipagpapatuloy.

When he’s ready to go deeper

5 questions

For a quiet hour, not the middle of a game.

  1. What pressure are you carrying that I may not fully see?

    Anong pressure ang dinadala mo na baka hindi ko pa lubos nakikita?

    Back of the card

    Some pressure looks normal from the outside. Understanding it can turn judgment into gentler support.

    May pressure na mukhang normal lang sa labas. Kapag naintindihan ito, puwedeng maging mas gentle ang support.

  2. What helps you share something hard with me without feeling judged?

    Ano yung nakakatulong para makapag-share ka sa akin ng mahirap sabihin nang hindi feeling judged?

    Back of the card

    Honesty needs a safe place to land. Your answer can show what helps truth feel less risky between you.

    Kailangan ng honesty ng safe na landing place. Makakatulong ang sagot mo para makita kung ano ang nagpapagaan sabihin ang truth sa inyong dalawa.

  3. Name something you want to be known for by people close to you.

    Magsabi ng isang bagay na gusto mong maalala sa'yo ng mga taong close sa'yo.

    Back of the card

    The way you want to be known can reveal what you value. It can also guide one small choice today.

    Yung gusto mong maalala nila sa'yo, may pinapakitang value. Puwede rin siyang gumabay sa isang maliit na choice today.

  4. Name something you are nervous about that still feels worth trying.

    Magsabi ng isang bagay na kinakabahan ka pero parang worth it pa ring subukan.

    Back of the card

    Nerves and courage often show up together. The fear does not automatically mean the step is wrong.

    Madalas magkasama ang kaba at courage. Hindi porket may takot, mali na agad ang step.

  5. What do you like more about yourself than you used to?

    Ano ang mas nagugustuhan mo sa sarili mo kaysa dati?

    Back of the card

    Would you appreciate the same thing in another person? Your story can stay private.

    Magugustuhan mo rin ba iyon sa ibang tao? Puwedeng itago ang sarili mong kuwento.

How to use them

Before you ask

A lot of boyfriends answer “how was your day” with “fine” and mean it. That’s not a wall; the question is just too big. Good questions to ask your boyfriend are smaller and more specific: a harmless opinion he defends, a game he played for hours as a kid, a skill someone patiently taught him. Specific questions get stories, and stories are where you learn something new.

Start with the easy set while you’re doing something else, like cooking, walking or waiting for food. Then ask about the boy he used to be; most people light up talking about who they were at ten. Keep the deeper questions for when it’s quiet and he isn’t performing for anyone, and answer them yourself too. A question you’d never answer back feels like an interview.

The couples questions here come from the Couples deck, written for two people already together; the rest work for anyone you’re getting closer to. Every card also has a Tagalog version, handy if his family speaks it. And if he passes on one, let it go. You can always come back to it another night.

Good for

  • A night in or a long walk
  • Road trips and long drives
  • The early months, when you’re still learning each other
  • Couples who have been together for years
  • Video calls when you’re apart

Tips

  1. Ask while you’re doing something side by side; some people talk more when they aren’t being looked at.
  2. Follow up on one detail instead of moving straight to the next card.
  3. Answer every question yourself as well, so it’s a swap, not a quiz.
  4. Skip anything that sounds like a test of the relationship.
  5. Save the deeper ones for a calm night, never the middle of a disagreement.

Decks for this

Boyfriend

Frequently asked questions

What are good questions to ask your boyfriend?

Specific ones he can answer with a story: a game he loved as a kid, someone who taught him a skill he still uses, a small opinion he takes seriously. Then ask about the two of you, like the moment things first felt real.

What deep questions can I ask my boyfriend?

Ask about what he carries that you might not see, what helps him share hard things without feeling judged, and what he wants to be known for by the people close to him. Ask on a calm night and answer them yourself too.

How do I get my boyfriend to open up more?

Ask smaller, more specific questions, ask while you’re doing something together, and listen without fixing. Let him pass a question; people open up more when they know they don’t have to.

Is there an app with questions for couples?

Yes. Kumustahan is a conversation card app with a Couples deck and other decks for friends and family, in English with Tagalog on every card. Choose Keep it light, Open up or Go deeper and take turns.

Bring a better question to the table.

Free on iPhone and Android. 420 cards free, no account, works offline.

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