Questions · Questions to ask a guy

Questions to ask a guy you actually want to know

For the guy you just met, the one you’ve been texting, or a friend you’d like to know better. No relationship assumed, no trick questions, just good ways in.

  • 27 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Getting to know№ 19

If you had one free hour every week, what hobby would you go back to?

Kung may isang free hour ka every week, anong hobby ang babalikan mo?

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A note

A hobby you miss can point to a part of you that still wants some space.

Yung hobby na nami-miss mo minsan tumuturo sa part ng sarili mo na gusto pa rin ng konting space.

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The questions

27 questions to ask a guy

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

Easy openers

7 questions

Quick, low-pressure picks for the first few minutes.

  1. You receive one free round-trip ticket. Where are you going first?

    May libre kang round-trip ticket. Saan ka pupunta?

    Back of the card

    Choose one thing you would want to do before flying home.

    Pumili ng isang gusto mong gawin bago bumiyahe pauwi.

  2. On a plane, would you choose a window seat or more room for your legs?

    Sa eroplano, mas gusto mo ba ng upuan sa tabi ng bintana o mas maluwag para sa mga paa mo?

    Back of the card

    For this flight, would you rather chat, nap, or watch the view?

    Sa biyaheng ito, mas gusto mo bang makipagkuwentuhan, umidlip, o tumingin sa tanawin?

  3. If you were too tired to think, what would you order?

    Kapag pagod ka nang mag-isip, ano yung o-orderin mo?

    Back of the card

    The no-thinking order is its own kind of comfort. It is the choice that carries you when your brain is done.

    May comfort din sa order na hindi mo na kailangang isipin. Siya yung choice kapag ubos na utak mo.

  4. When your brain is tired, what is your go-to order?

    Kapag pagod na utak mo, ano yung go-to order mo?

    Back of the card

    The reliable order deserves respect. It shows up when decisions are too much and hunger is already making a case.

    Respect sa reliable order. Lumalabas siya kapag ayaw mo nang mag-decide at gutom na rin ang nagsasalita.

  5. If someone were choosing a snack or drink for you, what’s one choice that would almost always work?

    Kung may pipili ng snack o drink para sa'yo, ano yung halos laging okay sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Tiny preferences can be an easy way to know someone better. It feels good when people remember the simple things.

    Minsan sa small preferences tayo mas nakikilala. Nakakatuwa rin kapag may nakakaalala ng simple things about you.

  6. When you enter a classroom, meeting room, or café, where do you usually choose to sit?

    Pagpasok mo sa classroom, meeting room, o café, saan ka usually pumipili umupo?

    Back of the card

    Seat choices can reveal comfort, strategy, or pure habit. Somehow we all have a spot our body chooses first.

    May sinasabi rin yung seat choice: comfort, strategy, o habit lang talaga. Minsan katawan na ang pumipili.

  7. Describe your ideal electric fan or aircon setting.

    I-describe yung ideal electric fan o aircon setting mo.

    Back of the card

    Temperature preferences can become a whole personality. Comfort has settings, and everyone defends theirs a little.

    Yung temperature preference, minsan personality na rin. May settings ang comfort, at may kanya-kanya tayong ipinaglalaban.

How he spends his time

7 questions

Hobbies, free afternoons and the things he’s quietly good at.

  1. If you had one free hour every week, what hobby would you go back to?

    Kung may isang free hour ka every week, anong hobby ang babalikan mo?

    Back of the card

    A hobby you miss can point to a part of you that still wants some space.

    Yung hobby na nami-miss mo minsan tumuturo sa part ng sarili mo na gusto pa rin ng konting space.

  2. On a free day, what activity do you enjoy even if nothing gets done?

    Sa free day, anong activity ang enjoy gawin kahit wala kang natatapos?

    Back of the card

    Not every good thing needs to be useful. Some activities are good because they give the day room to breathe.

    Hindi lahat ng magandang gawin kailangang useful. May mga bagay na okay dahil binibigyan lang nila ng luwag yung araw.

  3. Name a new interest a friend might be surprised you enjoy.

    Magbanggit ng bagong hilig mo na baka ikagulat ng friend.

    Back of the card

    You could open with: “I never thought I'd enjoy this, but...”

    Puwedeng magsimula sa “Hindi ko akalaing magugustuhan ko ito, pero...”

  4. What fun activity would you like to introduce your friends to?

    Anong masayang activity ang gusto mong ipakilala sa friends?

    Back of the card

    Imagine their first try going wrong in a harmless, funny way.

    Isipin na may simpleng sablay sa unang pagsubok nila na puwede ninyong pagtawanan.

  5. If you could open a tiny shop just for fun, what would it sell?

    Kung magbubukas ka ng maliit na tindahan for fun, ano ang ibebenta mo?

    Back of the card

    What would you call your shop?

    Ano ang ipapangalan mo sa tindahan?

  6. If your afternoon suddenly became free, how would you spend it?

    Kung biglang naging free ang hapon mo, paano mo ito gagamitin?

    Back of the card

    Free time shows what you reach for when nobody is asking for anything. It can be rest, fun, errands, or nothing at all.

    Makikita sa free time kung saan ka kusang pupunta kapag walang kailangan sa'yo. Puwedeng pahinga, saya, errands, o wala lang.

  7. What are you good at that your friends rarely get to see?

    Saan ka magaling na bihirang makita ng friends mo?

    Back of the card

    Imagine a friend seeing you do it for the first time.

    Isipin na unang nakita ng friend kung paano mo ito ginagawa.

Where he comes from

6 questions

Childhood, home and the people who taught him things.

  1. Back when you were a kid, what game or activity could keep you busy for hours?

    Nung bata ka, anong laro o activity ang kaya mong pagkaabalahan nang ilang oras?

    Back of the card

    Childhood focus has its own sweetness. It remembers a time when getting lost in play was enough.

    May sariling saya yung focus nung bata tayo. Naalala nito yung panahon na sapat na ang maglaro nang maglaro.

  2. Who taught you a useful skill or habit you still use in daily life?

    Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng useful skill o habit na gamit mo pa rin sa daily life?

    Back of the card

    Practical lessons are easy to overlook, but they stay close. They show up in the small ways you move through a day.

    Madaling ma-overlook ang practical lessons, pero dala-dala mo pala. Lumalabas sila sa maliliit mong galaw araw-araw.

  3. Tell us about a food that reminds you of someone taking care of you.

    Ikuwento yung pagkain na nagpapaalala sa'yo ng alaga ng isang tao.

    Back of the card

    Food can carry care without needing big words. Sometimes the simple act of feeding someone well becomes a memory by itself.

    Kayang magdala ng care ang pagkain kahit walang malaking salita. Minsan yung simpleng pag-alaga sa pagkain, nagiging memory na.

  4. When you think of home, what small detail comes up first?

    Kapag naiisip mo ang home, anong maliit na detail ang unang pumapasok?

    Back of the card

    Home can be a smell, a sound, a person, a room, or one ordinary detail that stayed.

    Pwedeng amoy, tunog, tao, kwarto, o isang ordinaryong detail ang home. Minsan yun ang unang bumabalik.

  5. What useful skill did someone patiently teach you?

    Anong kasanayan ang matiyagang itinuro sa'yo ng isang tao?

    Back of the card

    Imagine you are teaching the skill now. What would you show a beginner first?

    Isipin na ikaw naman ang nagtuturo nito. Ano ang una mong ipapakita sa baguhan?

  6. Tell us about a small thing you can do now that would have amazed you as a kid.

    Kuwento mo yung maliit na bagay na kaya mo na ngayon na maa-amaze ka kung bata ka pa.

    Back of the card

    Progress can look ordinary from the outside. But younger you might know exactly how big that ordinary thing is.

    Mukhang ordinaryo minsan ang progress. Pero baka alam ng batang ikaw kung gaano kalaki yung ordinaryong bagay na yan.

What he cares about

7 questions

For later, once the conversation is easy.

  1. Who is someone you respect for the way they live, even in small things?

    Sino yung taong nirerespeto mo sa paraan ng buhay niya, kahit sa maliliit na bagay?

    Back of the card

    Respect often begins with small, steady things. A simple habit can show a lot about how someone moves through life.

    Madalas nagsisimula ang respeto sa maliliit pero consistent na bagay. May simpleng habit na maraming sinasabi tungkol sa isang tao.

  2. What is something you can handle better now than before?

    Ano yung mas kaya mo nang i-handle ngayon kaysa dati?

    Back of the card

    Growth is often noticed in comparison. What used to shake you may now take less from you.

    Madalas napapansin ang growth kapag may comparison. Yung dati kang kinakabahan, baka ngayon mas kaya mo nang harapin.

  3. What have you done recently that you are pleased about?

    Anong nagawa mo kamakailan ang ikinatuwa mo?

    Back of the card

    If your win had a tiny trophy, what would be written on it?

    Kung may maliit na trophy ang nagawa mo, ano ang nakasulat dito?

  4. How do you usually show a friend that you care?

    Paano mo usually pinapakita sa friend na may care ka?

    Back of the card

    Care has many shapes: checking in, feeding people, remembering details, giving space, or staying when it gets inconvenient.

    Maraming itsura ang care: nangangamusta, nagpapakain, nakakaalala ng details, nagbibigay ng space, o nananatili kahit hassle.

  5. What difficult situation are you proud of handling?

    Anong mahirap na sitwasyon ang proud kang naharap mo?

    Back of the card

    You can pass or keep the situation private. What did handling it help you notice about your own abilities?

    Puwedeng mag-pass o itago ang sitwasyon. Ano ang napansin mong kaya mo pala matapos mong harapin iyon?

  6. Name something that matters to you more now than it used to.

    Magsabi ng isang bagay na mas mahalaga na sa'yo ngayon kaysa dati.

    Back of the card

    What matters can change as you grow. That shift is not betrayal; it may be a clearer kind of honesty.

    Puwedeng magbago ang mahalaga habang naggo-grow ka. Hindi agad betrayal yun; baka mas malinaw na honesty.

  7. Who do you wish you could spend more normal, no-special-plan time with?

    Sino yung gusto mong makasama nang mas madalas, kahit walang special na lakad?

    Back of the card

    Ordinary time can build closeness slowly. Not every good moment needs an occasion.

    Nakakabuo rin ng closeness ang ordinaryong time. Hindi lahat ng magandang moment kailangan may special na lakad.

How to use them

Before you ask

Lists of questions to ask a guy tend to be either flirty one-liners or a job interview. Neither tells you much. The questions here are simpler: what he orders when he’s tired, what he’d do with a free afternoon, who taught him a skill he still uses. Small, specific questions get real answers, and real answers are how you find out if you click.

Start with the easy openers, especially on a first meeting or a call. They’re quick to answer and give you something to follow up on. Once he’s telling longer stories, move to how he spends his time and where he grew up. Save the last group for when the conversation already feels comfortable.

Answer the questions too. Getting to know someone is a trade, and nobody enjoys being the only one answering. If this is heading toward a first date, our first date questions and date conversation tips pick up from here.

Good for

  • Getting to know a guy you’ve just met
  • Texting or a first phone call
  • Coffee, a walk or a first date
  • A friend you’d like to know better
  • Group hangouts where you’re sitting next to someone new

Tips

  1. Ask one question at a time and wait for the whole answer.
  2. Follow up on details. “Who taught you that?” beats moving to the next question.
  3. Share your own answer so it doesn’t feel like an interview.
  4. Skip questions about exes, money or his five-year plan early on.
  5. If he keeps answers short, try a story question instead of an opinion one.

Decks for this

Questions to ask a guy

Frequently asked questions

What are good questions to ask a guy?

Specific, easy questions about his habits, free time and the place he grew up, like what he orders when he’s too tired to think or what he’d do with a free afternoon. They are easy to answer and show who he is.

What should I ask a guy to get to know him?

Start light with small preferences, then ask about hobbies and childhood, and only later about what matters to him. Follow up on what he says instead of moving through a list.

How do I keep a conversation going with a guy?

Ask about something he just mentioned and share a bit of your own story in return. Questions that ask for a story, not a yes or no, keep the conversation going on their own.

What questions should you avoid asking a guy early on?

Questions about exes, money, or where the relationship is going can feel like a test in the first conversations. Keep it to the person in front of you: what he likes, what he does, where he’s from.

Bring a better question to the table.

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