Questions · Couples retreat
Couples retreat questions for a whole weekend
Questions for a couples retreat, whether it’s a church weekend, a group of friends or just the two of you in a cabin. Icebreakers for the first night, what’s working, the harder conversation, and what to take home.
- 15 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Finish this: our barkada or family always laughs when ___.
Tapusin yung line: Laging nauuwi sa tawanan kapag ___.
Shared laughter becomes part of a group's language. Sometimes one unfinished sentence is enough to bring everyone back there.
Yung shared laughter, nagiging sariling language ng group. Minsan isang bitin na sentence lang, gets na agad.
The questions
15 couples retreat questions
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Friday night, with the group
4 questions
Light enough to answer in front of couples you just met.
-
Finish this: our barkada or family always laughs when ___.
Tapusin yung line: Laging nauuwi sa tawanan kapag ___.
Back of the card
Shared laughter becomes part of a group's language. Sometimes one unfinished sentence is enough to bring everyone back there.
Yung shared laughter, nagiging sariling language ng group. Minsan isang bitin na sentence lang, gets na agad.
-
Make one harmless rule that the whole world follows for a day.
Kung may isang rule na susundin ng buong mundo nang isang araw, ano iyon? Dapat walang masasaktan.
Back of the card
Imagine everyone following it at once. What small scene would be funny or helpful to watch?
Isipin na sabay-sabay itong ginagawa ng lahat. Ano ang nakakatawa o helpful na makikita mo?
-
Design a celebration just for you. What would make it feel special?
Magplano ng celebration para sa sarili mo. Ano ang magpapaspecial dito?
Back of the card
Which part of the celebration would you happily repeat the next day?
Aling bahagi ng celebration ang masaya mong uulitin kinabukasan?
-
Tell us the funny memory your friends or family still bring up.
Ikuwento yung funny memory na binabalikan pa rin ng friends o family mo.
Back of the card
Some stories become part of a group's archive. If people still bring it up, it probably earned its place.
May stories na parte na ng group archive. Kapag binabalikan pa rin, malamang deserve niya yung spot.
Saturday morning: what’s working
4 questions
Couple time. Start with strengths.
-
What is one quiet strength in our relationship right now?
Ano yung isang quiet strength ng relationship natin ngayon?
Back of the card
Strength does not always have to be obvious. Naming what feels steady can give you both courage for what is still growing.
Hindi kailangang obvious lagi ang strength. Kapag napangalanan ninyo kung ano yung steady, mas may courage kayo para sa mga bagay na lumalago pa.
-
What little thing has gone well for us lately that we should celebrate more?
Anong maliit na bagay ang naging okay sa atin lately na dapat nating i-celebrate pa?
Back of the card
Good moments grow when they are noticed. Celebrating what went well keeps the relationship from feeling like only tasks and problems.
Mas lumalakas yung magagandang moments kapag napapansin. Kapag sine-celebrate natin yung naging okay, hindi puro tasks at problema ang relationship.
-
What is something I handled well recently that meant more to you than I realized?
Ano yung isang bagay na nahandle ko nang maayos recently na mas malaking bagay pala sa'yo kaysa akala ko?
Back of the card
Specific appreciation helps your partner see what felt caring, steady, mature, or brave in real life.
Nakakatulong ang specific appreciation para makita ng partner mo kung ano yung naging caring, steady, mature, o brave sa totoong buhay.
-
What playful little habit of ours do you hope we keep?
Ano yung maliit na playful habit natin na sana hindi mawala?
Back of the card
Play helps protect a relationship from becoming only serious, busy, or practical with each other.
Nakakatulong ang play para hindi lang maging seryoso, busy, o practical ang relationship ninyo.
Saturday afternoon: the harder talk
4 questions
The one you came for. Take a walk while you talk.
-
During conflict, what makes it hardest for you to stay in the conversation?
Kapag may conflict tayo, ano yung nagpapahirap sa'yo manatili sa usapan?
Back of the card
It is hard to stay present when someone feels unsafe or overloaded. Understanding that moment can make it easier to pause, return, and repair.
Mahirap manatiling present kapag unsafe o overloaded ang feeling. Kapag naiintindihan ang moment na iyon, mas madaling mag-pause, bumalik, at mag-repair.
-
What part of our life needs more fairness, and feels safe enough to talk about calmly?
Anong part ng buhay natin ang kailangan ng mas fairness, at kaya nating pag-usapan nang kalmado?
Back of the card
Fairness is easier to talk about when it is specific. One calm area is better than opening every frustration at once.
Mas madaling pag-usapan ang fairness kapag specific. Mas okay ang isang kalmadong area kaysa sabay-sabay na buksan lahat ng frustration.
-
What pressure are you carrying that I may not fully see?
Anong pressure ang dinadala mo na baka hindi ko pa lubos nakikita?
Back of the card
Some pressure looks normal from the outside. Understanding it can turn judgment into gentler support.
May pressure na mukhang normal lang sa labas. Kapag naintindihan ito, puwedeng maging mas gentle ang support.
-
Where do you feel pulled in two directions?
Saan mo nararamdaman na hinihila ka sa dalawang direction?
Back of the card
Feeling pulled does not mean you are weak. It may mean two real things are asking for your attention.
Hindi ibig sabihin mahina ka kapag nahihila sa dalawang direction. Baka dalawang totoong bagay lang ang humihingi ng pansin.
Sunday: taking it home
3 questions
Choose habits small enough to survive Monday.
-
What habit of ours do you hope we keep in the next season?
Anong habit natin ang sana ituloy natin sa next season?
Back of the card
Keeping what works is also growth. Not every next step has to be about fixing a problem.
Growth din ang pagpapatuloy ng gumagana. Hindi lahat ng next step kailangang tungkol sa pag-aayos ng problema.
-
What boundary around time, phones, or attention would help us be more present with each other?
Anong boundary sa time, phone, o attention ang makakatulong para mas present tayo sa isa't isa?
Back of the card
Boundaries are not always walls. Sometimes they protect the attention your relationship needs to feel connected.
Hindi laging pader ang boundaries. Minsan pinoprotektahan nila yung attention na kailangan ng relationship para mas maramdaman ang connection.
-
What have you been putting off that might bring relief once you start?
Ano yung matagal mo nang pinapabukas na baka gumaan kapag nasimulan mo na?
Back of the card
Starting can be the hardest part because it makes the thing real. Relief may come before everything is finished.
Minsan pinakamahirap magsimula kasi nagiging real na yung bagay. Pero minsan nauunang dumating ang relief bago matapos lahat.
How to use them
Before you ask
On a couples retreat, let the questions follow the weekend: light and shared on the first night, strengths on Saturday morning, the harder conversation in the afternoon, and small commitments on Sunday. Without that arc, couples tend to spend a whole weekend away doing what they do at home.
Many retreats front-load the heavy stuff, and couples arrive tired from the drive and a week of work. Starting with what is already going well matters: it reminds both of you why you came, and it makes the difficult conversation feel like maintenance on something good, not a repair job.
If you’re leading a group retreat, use the Friday questions with everyone, then send couples off alone for Saturday. If it’s just the two of you, follow the same order over your own weekend.
Good for
Tips
- Leave Saturday evening free. A retreat without fun is a workshop.
- Walk during the harder talk; it lowers the temperature.
- Write the Sunday answers down and put them somewhere you’ll see them.
- In a group, nobody shares anything about their partner without permission.
- For faith-based retreats, pair these with a prayer or a short reading.
Decks for this
A simple retreat schedule
You don’t need a facilitator or a workbook. A loose plan, some free time and a few good questions are enough.
| When | What | Questions |
|---|---|---|
| Friday evening | Dinner, then a circle with the group | Friday night group |
| Saturday morning | Coffee and a slow walk, just the two of you | What’s working |
| Saturday afternoon | An hour somewhere quiet, then free time | The harder talk |
| Saturday evening | Date night: no questions, just fun | None |
| Sunday morning | Breakfast, then write down two habits | Taking it home |
Couples retreat
Frequently asked questions
What questions do you ask at a couples retreat?
Light group icebreakers on the first night, then questions about the relationship’s strengths, a harder topic you both want to discuss, and small habits to take home. Follow that order across the weekend.
What activities are good for a couples retreat?
Walks while you talk, a shared meal, a date night with no agenda, and some time to write down what you want to keep. Conversation questions give each block a focus.
Can we do a couples retreat at home?
Yes. Clear a weekend, arrange childcare if you need it, turn off notifications, and follow the same schedule in your own house or a nearby rental.
Bring a better question to the table.
Free on iPhone and Android. 420 cards free, no account, works offline.