Questions · Debut

Questions for a Filipino debut, from the guests’ table to the 18 candles

A Filipino debut is a girl’s 18th birthday thrown like a small wedding: a gown, a cotillion, 18 roses and 18 candles. Between the program numbers there is a lot of waiting, and a lot of tables of people who don’t know each other. These questions fill both.

  • 16 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Barkada№ 57

Which ability did a friend notice in you before you noticed it yourself?

Anong galing mo ang unang napansin ng friend bago mo ito nakita sa sarili mo?

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A note

You could borrow their words to describe your ability once.

Puwede mong gamitin ang sinabi nila para ilarawan ang galing mo.

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The questions

16 questions for a debut

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

For the guests’ table

4 questions

Light icebreakers for classmates, cousins and family friends seated together.

  1. If you could lend someone a superpower for one day, what power would you give?

    Kung mapapahiram mo ng superpower ang isang tao nang isang araw, anong power ang ibibigay mo?

    Back of the card

    Imagine their first reaction when they try the borrowed power.

    Isipin ang unang reaction nila kapag sinubukan ang hiniram na power.

  2. If you could change the color of anything, what would you change?

    Kung kaya mong palitan ang kulay ng kahit ano, ano ang papalitan mo?

    Back of the card

    What color would you choose for it?

    Anong kulay ang pipiliin mo para rito?

  3. In an adventure story, would you be the guide, cook, builder, storyteller, or someone else?

    Sa adventure story, anong role ang pipiliin mo: guide, cook, builder, storyteller, o iba pa?

    Back of the card

    Your character has one familiar object in their bag. What is it?

    May isang pamilyar na gamit sa bag ng tauhan mo. Ano iyon?

  4. How can friends tell when you are excited about something?

    Paano nahahalata ng friends na excited ka sa isang bagay?

    Back of the card

    Think of the sign you notice in yourself before anyone else does.

    Isipin ang senyales na napapansin mo sa sarili mo bago pa mapansin ng iba.

Memories for the 18 candles

6 questions

Friends and family who give a candle often share a memory. These help them find one.

  1. How did your first impression of a friend change once you got to know them?

    Anong first impression mo sa isang friend ang nagbago nang makilala mo sila?

    Back of the card

    You can finish: “I thought they were..., then I noticed...”

    Puwedeng ituloy: “Akala ko..., tapos napansin ko...”

  2. Which ability did a friend notice in you before you noticed it yourself?

    Anong galing mo ang unang napansin ng friend bago mo ito nakita sa sarili mo?

    Back of the card

    You could borrow their words to describe your ability once.

    Puwede mong gamitin ang sinabi nila para ilarawan ang galing mo.

  3. Recall a moment when talking to a new friend started to feel easy.

    Kailan ka nagsimulang maging komportable sa pakikipagkuwentuhan sa bago mong friend?

    Back of the card

    Remember the first thing you no longer felt shy about saying.

    Balikan ang unang bagay na hindi ka na nahiyang sabihin.

  4. Name a place that reminds you of a funny story with friends.

    Magbanggit ng lugar na nagpapaalala ng funny story kasama ang friends.

    Back of the card

    That place gets a new name just for this story. What would it be?

    Kung papangalanan mo ang lugar ayon sa kuwentong ito, ano ang itatawag mo?

  5. What detail do you notice first in an old photo with a friend?

    Anong detalye ang una mong napapansin sa lumang photo kasama ang friend?

    Back of the card

    No need to show it. Would you keep that detail in a photo taken today?

    Hindi kailangang ipakita. Gusto mo bang makita pa rin ang detalyeng iyon sa photo ngayon?

  6. Which song takes you back to a particular time with friends?

    Anong kanta ang nagpapaalala sa'yo ng isang panahon ninyo ng friends mo?

    Back of the card

    Picture where everyone was when the song came on.

    Isipin kung nasaan ang lahat noong tumugtog ang kanta.

For the debutante, about turning 18

6 questions

For the pre-debut shoot, the speech, or a quiet talk with a parent.

  1. If you could tell your younger self one piece of good news, what would it be?

    Kung may isang good news kang masasabi sa batang ikaw, ano yun?

    Back of the card

    This is a gentle way to name progress. Not everything is fixed, but maybe there is something younger you would smile about.

    Gentle way ito para makita yung progress. Hindi man ayos lahat, baka may isang bagay na ikakangiti ng batang ikaw.

  2. Name something you are nervous about that still feels worth trying.

    Magsabi ng isang bagay na kinakabahan ka pero parang worth it pa ring subukan.

    Back of the card

    Nerves and courage often show up together. The fear does not automatically mean the step is wrong.

    Madalas magkasama ang kaba at courage. Hindi porket may takot, mali na agad ang step.

  3. Where do you need a little more courage this week?

    Saan mo kailangan ng konting dagdag courage this week?

    Back of the card

    Courage does not always look big. Sometimes it is one honest message, one boundary, or one careful next step.

    Hindi laging malaki ang courage. Minsan isang honest message, isang boundary, o isang maingat na next step lang.

  4. If a friend said you have changed in a good way, what change would you hope they noticed?

    Kung sabihin ng friend mo na nagbago ka in a good way, anong change ang sana napansin nila?

    Back of the card

    The change you hope someone notices may point to what you have been quietly practicing.

    Yung change na sana mapansin nila baka yun yung tahimik mong pinapractice nitong season.

  5. Name something you want to be known for by people close to you.

    Magsabi ng isang bagay na gusto mong maalala sa'yo ng mga taong close sa'yo.

    Back of the card

    The way you want to be known can reveal what you value. It can also guide one small choice today.

    Yung gusto mong maalala nila sa'yo, may pinapakitang value. Puwede rin siyang gumabay sa isang maliit na choice today.

  6. Give yourself a funny award for something you are surprisingly good at.

    Bigyan mo sarili mo ng funny award para sa bagay na surprisingly magaling ka.

    Back of the card

    A funny award makes small talents official. Some skills may not belong on a resume, but they still deserve a ceremony.

    Ginagawang official ng funny award ang small talents. Hindi man pang-resume, deserve pa rin ng ceremony.

How to use them

Before you ask

A debut has two kinds of moments where conversation matters. One is the long stretch between program numbers, when a table of classmates, cousins and titas’ friends sit together not knowing what to say. The other is the 18 candles, when eighteen people stand up and each says something about the debutante, and half of them wish they had prepared.

For the tables, use light icebreakers that work across ages. For the candles, the friendship questions help a speaker find a real memory: the first impression that turned out wrong, the ability they noticed in her before she did, the funny place that brings back a story. A specific memory always lands better than “I wish you all the best.”

The last group is for the debutante herself, before or after the party. Turning 18 is a threshold, and the questions about courage, hopes and the person she wants to be known as make a good speech outline or a good talk with a parent. Every card comes in English and Tagalog.

Good for

  • Debut guest tables
  • Preparing an 18 candles or 18 treasures message
  • The debutante’s speech
  • A pre-debut dinner with family

Tips

  1. If you’re giving a candle, pick one specific memory and say it in under a minute.
  2. Put a few cards on each guest table between the cotillion and dinner.
  3. Debutantes: answer one card from the last group for your thank-you speech.
  4. Keep the table questions light. It is a party, not a reflection retreat.

Decks for this

The debut traditions, briefly

Details vary by family, but most debuts include some of these:

  • The cotillion: a formal dance by the debutante and a group of friends, often rehearsed for weeks.
  • 18 roses: eighteen men (father, brothers, relatives, friends) each dance with the debutante and give her a rose. The father usually dances first or last.
  • 18 candles: eighteen women each light a candle and share a message or wish.
  • 18 treasures or gifts: eighteen guests give a meaningful gift with a short explanation.
  • Filipino boys sometimes mark their 21st birthday in a similar way, usually with less ceremony.

Filipino debut

Frequently asked questions

What is a Filipino debut?

A debut is the traditional celebration of a Filipina’s 18th birthday, marking her coming of age. It often includes a formal program with a cotillion, 18 roses, 18 candles and a dinner for family and friends.

What do you say in an 18 candles message?

Share one specific memory with the debutante, one thing you have noticed about her, and one wish for her future. Keep it short and personal.

What are good questions for a debut?

For guests, light icebreakers that work across ages. For the debutante, questions about what she would tell her younger self, what she’s nervous but excited to try, and what she wants to be known for.

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