Questions · Filipino in-laws

Questions for your Filipino in-laws, long after the first dinner

The first meeting was the easy part. Now you see your Filipino in-laws every other Sunday, maybe they live nearby, maybe one of them lives with you. These questions help you build a real relationship with them, one conversation at a time.

  • 16 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Icebreakers№ 50

What useful skill did someone patiently teach you?

Anong kasanayan ang matiyagang itinuro sa'yo ng isang tao?

Tap to flipkumustahan
A note

Imagine you are teaching the skill now. What would you show a beginner first?

Isipin na ikaw naman ang nagtuturo nito. Ano ang una mong ipapakita sa baguhan?

Tap to returnkumustahan

The questions

16 questions to ask Filipino in-laws

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

In your mother-in-law’s kitchen

4 questions

Cooking alongside her is the best place to talk.

  1. Share one food rule your household still follows.

    Mag-share ng isang food rule na sinusunod pa rin sa bahay niyo.

    Back of the card

    House rules around food can be funny, practical, or oddly sacred. They carry the flavor of how people grew up.

    Yung food rules sa bahay, minsan funny, minsan practical, minsan oddly sacred. May flavor siya ng kinalakihan natin.

  2. Would you rather have someone cook or clean for you?

    Mas gusto mo bang may magluto o maglinis para sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Picture doing something you enjoy while they handle the task.

    Isipin ang masayang gagawin mo habang sila ang bahala.

  3. Choose one food that tastes better when it’s left over for the next day.

    Pumili ng isang pagkain na mas masarap kapag tira siya hanggang kinabukasan.

    Back of the card

    Some food needs an overnight plot twist. Leftovers can be humble, practical, and somehow better than round one.

    May pagkain talaga na mas gumaganda kinabukasan. Simple lang siya, practical, pero minsan mas panalo pa.

  4. If someone were choosing a snack or drink for you, what’s one choice that would almost always work?

    Kung may pipili ng snack o drink para sa'yo, ano yung halos laging okay sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Tiny preferences can be an easy way to know someone better. It feels good when people remember the simple things.

    Minsan sa small preferences tayo mas nakikilala. Nakakatuwa rin kapag may nakakaalala ng simple things about you.

Their stories

6 questions

Skills, kindnesses and the habits that turned out to help.

  1. What useful skill did someone patiently teach you?

    Anong kasanayan ang matiyagang itinuro sa'yo ng isang tao?

    Back of the card

    Imagine you are teaching the skill now. What would you show a beginner first?

    Isipin na ikaw naman ang nagtuturo nito. Ano ang una mong ipapakita sa baguhan?

  2. Who taught you a work or school habit you still use, and what was it?

    Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng work o school habit na gamit mo pa rin, at ano yun?

    Back of the card

    Some habits come from people who modeled them first. Their way of doing things can quietly become part of yours.

    May habits na galing sa taong nauna lang magpakita. Tahimik mong nadadala yung style nila hanggang maging part na rin ng style mo.

  3. When did someone remind you of God's kindness recently?

    Kailan may taong nagpaalala sa'yo ng kindness ni Lord recently?

    Back of the card

    God's kindness can reach us through people. Remembering those moments can make gratitude more concrete.

    Puwedeng dumating ang kindness ni Lord through people. Kapag naalala mo yung moments na yun, mas nagiging concrete ang gratitude.

  4. What is a recent act of kindness that caught you by surprise?

    Anong magandang ginawa sa'yo lately ang hindi mo inaasahan?

    Back of the card

    Keep names private if you like. Picture the instant you realized what they had done for you.

    Puwedeng itago ang mga pangalan. Balikan ang sandaling naisip mo kung ano ang ginawa nila para sa'yo.

  5. When did you realize a habit you already had was helping you?

    Kailan mo na-realize na nakakatulong pala yung habit na meron ka na?

    Back of the card

    Helpful habits are not always dramatic. Sometimes you only notice them when life feels a little easier because they are there.

    Hindi laging dramatic ang helpful habits. Minsan mo lang sila napapansin kapag mas gumagaan ang life dahil nandiyan sila.

  6. Share one simple kindness someone showed you recently.

    Mag-share ng simple kindness na pinakita sa'yo recently.

    Back of the card

    Small kindness can become a quiet picture of God's care. It does not need to be big to stay with you.

    Yung simple kindness, puwedeng maging maliit na picture ng care ni Lord. Hindi kailangang grand para maalala mo.

Small talk that isn’t about grandkids

6 questions

Light questions for a tito-in-law who isn’t a big talker.

  1. For a good hangout, what matters most: tasty food, a comfy place, or good conversation?

    Sa bonding, ano ang pinakamahalaga: masarap na pagkain, komportableng lugar, o masayang kuwentuhan?

    Back of the card

    Imagine a hangout with your top choice and nothing fancy. Where would it happen?

    Isipin ang simpleng bonding na mayroon ng pinili mo. Saan ito mangyayari?

  2. What event would you choose if the ticket were free?

    Kung may libre kang ticket sa isang event, ano ang pipiliin mo?

    Back of the card

    Imagine the event is about to begin. What are you most excited to see?

    Magsisimula na ang event. Ano ang pinaka-gusto mong makita?

  3. With an unlimited budget, what extra room would you add to your home?

    Kung walang limit ang budget, anong dagdag na kuwarto ang gusto mo sa bahay?

    Back of the card

    If the new room had a sign on its door, what would it say?

    Kung may karatula sa pinto ng bagong kuwarto, ano ang nakasulat doon?

  4. If money were no problem, how would you spend a Saturday with nothing you had to do?

    Kung walang kailangang gawin at hindi problema ang pera, paano mo gagamitin ang isang Sabado?

    Back of the card

    Picture the end of your Saturday. What would make you wish it were still morning?

    Isipin ang katapusan ng Sabado mo. Bakit mo gugustuhing umaga pa lang?

  5. If your afternoon suddenly became free, how would you spend it?

    Kung biglang naging free ang hapon mo, paano mo ito gagamitin?

    Back of the card

    Free time shows what you reach for when nobody is asking for anything. It can be rest, fun, errands, or nothing at all.

    Makikita sa free time kung saan ka kusang pupunta kapag walang kailangan sa'yo. Puwedeng pahinga, saya, errands, o wala lang.

  6. At family gatherings, where do you usually end up: helping, chatting, eating, or observing?

    Kapag may family gathering, saan ka usually napupunta: tumutulong, nakikipagkwentuhan, kumakain, o nag-oobserve?

    Back of the card

    Gatherings bring out our natural moves. Some people serve, some talk, some watch, and some happily stay near the food.

    Sa gatherings, lumalabas yung natural move natin. May tumutulong, may nagkukuwento, may nag-oobserve, at may masaya sa tabi ng pagkain.

How to use them

Before you ask

The relationship with Filipino in-laws is built in the kitchen and at the long table, not in one big talk. The best questions are ones you can ask while chopping garlic next to your mother-in-law or waiting for the rice: the food rule her house always followed, the dish that’s better the next day, who taught her the recipe.

Many Filipino in-laws are warm but formal at first, especially with a son- or daughter-in-law who isn’t Filipino. They may show affection through food and quiet help long before they say much. Asking about their stories and the people who taught them is a respectful way to close that distance.

Use po and opo if you’ve learned them, call them what your spouse calls them (often Mama and Papa, or Nanay and Tatay), and read them the Tagalog side of a card if their English is shy.

Good for

  • Sunday visits and family lunches
  • A parent-in-law living with you
  • Holidays at your in-laws’ house
  • Long car rides with your spouse’s parents

Tips

  1. Offer to help in the kitchen. It is the fastest way into a Filipino mother-in-law’s good books.
  2. Ask her to teach you one dish. Then ask about the person who taught her.
  3. Don’t take “no need, sit down” literally the first time. Offer again.
  4. If a tito is quiet, try a would-you-rather. It’s easier than a personal question.
  5. Ask your spouse which topics are sensitive in their family before the visit.

Decks for this

Filipino in-laws

Frequently asked questions

How do I get along with my Filipino in-laws?

Show respect to elders, accept their food, help in the kitchen and show up to family events. Ask about their stories, recipes and the people who taught them, and let the relationship build over many small visits.

What should I call my Filipino in-laws?

Ask your spouse. Many people use whatever their spouse uses, often Mama and Papa, Mommy and Daddy, or Nanay and Tatay, sometimes with “po” for respect.

What should I talk about with my Filipino mother-in-law?

Food is the easiest start: her household’s food rules, a dish that tastes better the next day, who taught her to cook. From there, ask about the people and places in her stories.

Bring a better question to the table.

Free on iPhone and Android. 420 cards free, no account, works offline.

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play