Questions · Unique questions

Unique questions people haven’t heard before

If someone has a polished answer ready, the question isn’t unique. These ask about things people rarely put into words: what they notice in an old photo, how others can tell they’ve rested, which messages are easy to answer.

  • 16 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Getting to know№ 35

As you got older, which habit at home started to make more sense to you?

Habang tumatanda ka, anong habit sa bahay ninyo ang mas nagme-make sense na sa'yo ngayon?

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A note

Getting older can change the way you see home. A habit may look different once you know more of the story.

Habang tumatanda, nag-iiba rin minsan ang tingin natin sa bahay. May habit na mas naiintindihan kapag alam mo na ang kuwento.

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The questions

16 unique questions to ask

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

What you notice

4 questions

Details people see every day and never talk about.

  1. When you enter a new place, what’s one small thing you notice right away?

    Kapag nasa bagong lugar ka, ano yung isang maliit na bagay na una mong napapansin?

    Back of the card

    What you notice first can hint at what makes a place feel interesting, calm, or welcoming to you.

    Minsan clue yung una mong napapansin kung ano ang nakaka-curious, nakakapagpakalma, o nagpapagaan ng pakiramdam mo.

  2. What detail do you notice first in an old photo with a friend?

    Anong detalye ang una mong napapansin sa lumang photo kasama ang friend?

    Back of the card

    No need to show it. Would you keep that detail in a photo taken today?

    Hindi kailangang ipakita. Gusto mo bang makita pa rin ang detalyeng iyon sa photo ngayon?

  3. At home, who usually notices the chores, mess, or little things first?

    Sa bahay ninyo, sino yung madalas unang nakakapansin ng chores, kalat, o maliliit na kailangan gawin?

    Back of the card

    Every home has someone who notices first. That kind of attention can be quiet, but it keeps many things moving.

    Sa bawat bahay, may taong unang nakakapansin. Tahimik minsan yung ganung attention, pero marami siyang napapaandar.

  4. As you got older, which habit at home started to make more sense to you?

    Habang tumatanda ka, anong habit sa bahay ninyo ang mas nagme-make sense na sa'yo ngayon?

    Back of the card

    Getting older can change the way you see home. A habit may look different once you know more of the story.

    Habang tumatanda, nag-iiba rin minsan ang tingin natin sa bahay. May habit na mas naiintindihan kapag alam mo na ang kuwento.

How other people read you

6 questions

Imagine the outside view. Usually funny, sometimes touching.

  1. If someone were choosing a snack or drink for you, what’s one choice that would almost always work?

    Kung may pipili ng snack o drink para sa'yo, ano yung halos laging okay sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Tiny preferences can be an easy way to know someone better. It feels good when people remember the simple things.

    Minsan sa small preferences tayo mas nakikilala. Nakakatuwa rin kapag may nakakaalala ng simple things about you.

  2. After a busy or tiring season, how can people tell that you’ve actually rested?

    After ng busy o nakakapagod na season, paano malalaman ng mga tao na nakapagpahinga ka talaga?

    Back of the card

    Real rest often shows up quietly: more patience, more jokes, clearer thoughts, or simply a softer face.

    Madalas tahimik lang makita ang tunay na pahinga: mas mahaba ang pasensya, mas may jokes, mas malinaw mag-isip, o mas maaliwalas lang.

  3. If someone worked or studied with you for one week, what would they notice about your style?

    Kung may makakasama ka sa work o school for one week, ano kaya ang mapapansin nila sa style mo?

    Back of the card

    Your style may show in pace, focus, questions, breaks, or how you handle pressure. People notice more than we think.

    Pwedeng lumabas ang style mo sa pace, focus, tanong, breaks, o paano ka humarap sa pressure. Marami palang napapansin ang tao.

  4. What preference of yours do close friends remember without asking?

    Anong gusto mo ang kabisado na ng close friends mo?

    Back of the card

    Imagine they had to choose it for you today. Would they still get it right?

    Kung pipili sila para sa'yo ngayon, tama pa kaya ang pipiliin nila?

  5. How can friends tell when you are excited about something?

    Paano nahahalata ng friends na excited ka sa isang bagay?

    Back of the card

    Think of the sign you notice in yourself before anyone else does.

    Isipin ang senyales na napapansin mo sa sarili mo bago pa mapansin ng iba.

  6. Name a new interest a friend might be surprised you enjoy.

    Magbanggit ng bagong hilig mo na baka ikagulat ng friend.

    Back of the card

    You could open with: “I never thought I'd enjoy this, but...”

    Puwedeng magsimula sa “Hindi ko akalaing magugustuhan ko ito, pero...”

Small dilemmas nobody asks

3 questions

Short choices with surprisingly long answers.

  1. Choose a memory power: remember every name or remember every route you have taken.

    Pumili ng memory power: tandaan lahat ng pangalan o lahat ng daang nadaanan mo.

    Back of the card

    Give your memory power a name. It can sound heroic or completely ordinary.

    Bigyan ng pangalan ang memory power mo. Puwedeng pang-hero o ordinaryo lang.

  2. If your old phone could save only one, would you keep the photos or the messages?

    Kung isa lang ang mase-save sa lumang phone mo, photos o messages ang ititira mo?

    Back of the card

    Imagine giving the saved memories a title. No need to show any photos or messages.

    Isipin na bibigyan mo ng pamagat ang natirang mga alaala. Hindi kailangang magpakita ng photos o messages.

  3. What is one thing you like that you no longer feel the need to explain?

    Ano yung isang bagay na gusto mo na hindi mo na kailangang i-explain?

    Back of the card

    Some preferences do not need a courtroom defense. They can simply be yours, confidently and without a long speech.

    May preferences na hindi kailangan ng courtroom defense. Sa'yo lang siya, confident, walang mahabang explanation.

The fine print of friendship

3 questions

Tiny rules about messages, plans and permission.

  1. What quick question could clear up a confusing message from a friend?

    Kapag malabo ang message ng friend, paano mo tatanungin kung ano ang ibig nilang sabihin?

    Back of the card

    “Did you mean...?” can leave the answer open. You can use an invented message.

    Puwedeng magsimula sa “Ang ibig mo bang sabihin...?” Gawa-gawang message lang kung gusto mo.

  2. What kind of message from a friend is easy for you to reply to?

    Anong message mula sa friend ang madali mong sagutin?

    Back of the card

    You could write an example with no names or real chat details.

    Puwede kang gumawa ng halimbawa na walang pangalan o detalye ng totoong chat.

  3. What should friends ask your permission to do?

    Ano ang dapat munang ipagpaalam sa'yo ng friends?

    Back of the card

    Your permission can depend on the situation; closeness does not make every answer a yes.

    Puwedeng depende sa sitwasyon ang pahintulot mo; kahit close kayo, hindi laging oo ang sagot.

How to use them

Before you ask

A unique question is one that skips the rehearsed answer. Ask people what they do for work or where they grew up and they answer on autopilot. Ask what they notice first when they walk into a new place, and they have to stop and look at their own habits, which is when a real conversation starts.

What makes these questions unusual isn’t strangeness. It’s that they look at ordinary life from a side angle: the snack someone could always pick for you, the details a coworker would catch in a week, the friend whose messages you can always answer. Everyone has an answer; almost nobody has said it out loud before.

Because the answers aren’t rehearsed, give people a moment. A short silence after a unique question is a good sign. For more questions with that effect, see interesting questions, or keep the thread going with the follow-up questions guide.

Good for

  • Friends who already know the usual stories
  • Second and third hangouts
  • Couples who want a fresh angle
  • Interview-style podcasts and videos
  • Dinner parties with mixed groups

Tips

  1. Wait through the pause. Unique questions take a second.
  2. Answer it yourself, since nobody has a model answer to copy.
  3. Ask “has anyone ever asked you that before?” It usually gets a laugh.
  4. Pair a noticing question with a how-others-see-you question.
  5. Remember the best answers. They make good follow-ups next time.

Decks for this

Unique questions

Frequently asked questions

What are some unique questions to ask someone?

Questions about things people notice but rarely say, like the first detail they see in a new place or how friends can tell they’re excited. Because nobody has a ready answer, the replies come out fresh.

How do I ask unique questions without sounding strange?

Ask casually and tie them to the moment, like asking what someone notices first while you’re both walking into a café. Then answer it yourself.

Are unique questions good for a date?

Yes. They avoid the interview feel of first-date questions and show how someone sees the world, which is more interesting than a list of facts.

Bring a better question to the table.

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