Questions · For adults
Conversation questions for adults, about actual adult life
Grown-up conversation tends to shrink to work and weather. These questions are about the rest of adult life: how you unwind, which friendships you miss, what kind of rest you never get, and what you’re still learning.
- 17 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
How would you like a friend to respond when you are too tired to join a plan?
Kapag sobrang pagod ka para sumama, paano mo gustong mag-react ang friend sa pagtanggi mo?
Missing one plan does not mean you want to stop being invited.
Hindi ibig sabihin na ayaw mo nang yayain kapag hindi ka nakasama minsan.
The questions
17 conversation questions for adults
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Work, chores and the rest of it
5 questions
How you work, without asking what you earn.
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Which kind of task makes you lose track of time?
Anong klaseng task yung nakakalimutan mong oras kapag ginagawa mo?
Back of the card
The tasks that make time move fast can reveal what absorbs you, energizes you, or quietly fits how your mind works.
Yung tasks na nagpapabilis ng oras pwedeng clue kung ano ang kumukuha ng focus mo, nagpapagana sa'yo, o bagay sa utak mo.
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If someone worked or studied with you for one week, what would they notice about your style?
Kung may makakasama ka sa work o school for one week, ano kaya ang mapapansin nila sa style mo?
Back of the card
Your style may show in pace, focus, questions, breaks, or how you handle pressure. People notice more than we think.
Pwedeng lumabas ang style mo sa pace, focus, tanong, breaks, o paano ka humarap sa pressure. Marami palang napapansin ang tao.
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What small thing do you naturally take care of during a hangout?
Anong maliit na bagay ang natural mong inaasikaso kapag may hangout?
Back of the card
Some small things find the same person every time. It can be funny how a group quietly learns who handles what.
May maliliit na bagay na laging may hinahanap na tao. Funny rin kung paano tahimik na natututo ang group kung sino ang umaasikaso ng ano.
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Before leaving the house, what do you always check?
Bago umalis ng bahay, ano yung lagi mong chine-check?
Back of the card
Small checks are tiny protection from future hassle. Everyone has one thing they refuse to leave up to memory.
Maliit lang yung check, pero nakakaiwas sa future hassle. Lahat tayo may isang bagay na hindi pwedeng memory lang.
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When your brain is tired, what is your go-to order?
Kapag pagod na utak mo, ano yung go-to order mo?
Back of the card
The reliable order deserves respect. It shows up when decisions are too much and hunger is already making a case.
Respect sa reliable order. Lumalabas siya kapag ayaw mo nang mag-decide at gutom na rin ang nagsasalita.
Friendships when everyone is busy
4 questions
For people who see their friends less than they’d like.
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How would you like a friend to respond when you are too tired to join a plan?
Kapag sobrang pagod ka para sumama, paano mo gustong mag-react ang friend sa pagtanggi mo?
Back of the card
Missing one plan does not mean you want to stop being invited.
Hindi ibig sabihin na ayaw mo nang yayain kapag hindi ka nakasama minsan.
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If you and a friend talk less often, what would you want to ask them?
Kung bihira na kayong mag-usap ng friend, ano ang gusto mong itanong sa kanila?
Back of the card
Would you ask now or wait for a quieter time to talk?
Itatanong mo ba ngayon o hihintayin mong mas tahimik ang oras ng usapan?
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Choose a short message you could send a friend you have not talked to lately.
Kung hindi mo nakakausap lately ang isang friend, anong maikling message ang ipapadala mo?
Back of the card
The first message does not need to contain the whole catch-up.
Hindi kailangang nasa unang message ang buong kumustahan.
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Who do you wish you could spend more normal, no-special-plan time with?
Sino yung gusto mong makasama nang mas madalas, kahit walang special na lakad?
Back of the card
Ordinary time can build closeness slowly. Not every good moment needs an occasion.
Nakakabuo rin ng closeness ang ordinaryong time. Hindi lahat ng magandang moment kailangan may special na lakad.
Rest you actually get
5 questions
Free time, guilt about free time, and what can wait.
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Name one thing that can wait until tomorrow.
Magbanggit ng isang bagay na puwedeng maghintay hanggang bukas.
Back of the card
Not everything needs today's strength. Letting one thing wait can be a practical kind of kindness.
Hindi lahat kailangan ng lakas mo today. Minsan praktikal na kindness yung hayaan munang maghintay ang isang bagay.
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Where are you spending energy that you wish you could save?
Saan napupunta ang energy mo na sana naiipon mo na lang?
Back of the card
Energy is limited, even when love or responsibility is real. Noticing the drain is the first step toward caring for it.
Limited ang energy, kahit totoo ang love o responsibility. Kapag napansin mo kung saan ka nauubos, mas maalagaan mo siya.
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What might you need to say no to, pause, or limit so your week feels lighter?
Ano yung kailangan mong hihindian, i-pause, o limitahan para mas gumaan ang week mo?
Back of the card
A boundary is not always a wall. Sometimes it is a small line that helps you stay present and honest.
Hindi laging pader ang boundary. Minsan maliit na line lang siya para mas present at honest ka.
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If your afternoon suddenly became free, how would you spend it?
Kung biglang naging free ang hapon mo, paano mo ito gagamitin?
Back of the card
Free time shows what you reach for when nobody is asking for anything. It can be rest, fun, errands, or nothing at all.
Makikita sa free time kung saan ka kusang pupunta kapag walang kailangan sa'yo. Puwedeng pahinga, saya, errands, o wala lang.
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What kind of rest, fun, or treat are you learning to enjoy without feeling bad about it?
Anong klaseng pahinga, saya, o treat ang natututuhan mong i-enjoy nang hindi masyadong nagi-guilty?
Back of the card
Enjoyment can take practice, especially when you are used to earning every pause. This question leaves room for that.
Minsan kailangan ding matutuhan ang mag-enjoy, lalo na kung sanay kang kailangan mong paghirapan ang bawat pahinga. May space dito para doon.
Still growing
3 questions
Skills, hobbies and lessons from people who taught you.
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What is something you can handle better now than before?
Ano yung mas kaya mo nang i-handle ngayon kaysa dati?
Back of the card
Growth is often noticed in comparison. What used to shake you may now take less from you.
Madalas napapansin ang growth kapag may comparison. Yung dati kang kinakabahan, baka ngayon mas kaya mo nang harapin.
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If you had one free hour every week, what hobby would you go back to?
Kung may isang free hour ka every week, anong hobby ang babalikan mo?
Back of the card
A hobby you miss can point to a part of you that still wants some space.
Yung hobby na nami-miss mo minsan tumuturo sa part ng sarili mo na gusto pa rin ng konting space.
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Who taught you a work or school habit you still use, and what was it?
Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng work o school habit na gamit mo pa rin, at ano yun?
Back of the card
Some habits come from people who modeled them first. Their way of doing things can quietly become part of yours.
May habits na galing sa taong nauna lang magpakita. Tahimik mong nadadala yung style nila hanggang maging part na rin ng style mo.
How to use them
Before you ask
Conversation questions for adults don’t have to be racy or heavy. What adults usually miss is talk about their own lives that isn’t a status report. Ask a friend which task makes them lose track of time, or what kind of rest would help most this week, and you get past the job title to the person.
These suit the places adults actually talk: a dinner with other couples, a book club before the book, a coworker lunch that’s gone quiet, a group of parents whose kids are finally asleep. They assume real lives with deadlines, chores and friends who live too far away, and they ask about those things kindly.
If you’re hosting, start with work and chores, which everyone can answer, then move to friendship and rest once people are relaxed. For a lighter evening, try funny questions; for a group that wants to go deep, deep questions.
Good for
Tips
- Ask how people work, never what they earn.
- Don’t compare busyness. Nobody wins that game.
- Ask the friendship questions about the friends who aren’t there, kindly.
- If someone says they never rest, ask what rest would even look like.
- Leave room for the quiet person. Adults go quiet when they’re tired, not bored.
Decks for this
Conversation questions for adults
Frequently asked questions
What are good conversation questions for adults?
Questions about grown-up life beyond work: how someone unwinds, which friendships they wish they had more time for, what kind of rest they need, what skill they’re still learning. They’re easy to answer and far more interesting than a job update.
What can adults talk about besides work?
Free time and rest, friends and how to keep up with them, hobbies they’d go back to, and the small adulting skills they’re proud of. Ask about any of those with one specific question.
Are these questions appropriate for a mixed group?
Yes. They’re written for adults but nothing here is explicit or invasive, so they work for coworkers, neighbors and new friends as well as close ones.
Bring a better question to the table.
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