Questions · Engaged couples

Questions for engaged couples to enjoy the engagement

Questions for the months between the proposal and the wedding. Retell the yes, get to know each other’s families, invent traditions that are yours, and talk through a few things before the big day.

  • 16 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Icebreakers№ 47

What have you done recently that you are pleased about?

Anong nagawa mo kamakailan ang ikinatuwa mo?

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A note

If your win had a tiny trophy, what would be written on it?

Kung may maliit na trophy ang nagawa mo, ano ang nakasulat dito?

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The questions

16 questions for engaged couples

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

The proposal and the yes

4 questions

Tell it again. And again. That’s what engagements are for.

  1. How would you like friends to react when you share good news?

    Paano mo gustong mag-react ang friends kapag may good news ka?

    Back of the card

    A loud cheer or a quiet “I'm happy for you” — which fits this news?

    Malakas na cheer o tahimik na “Masaya ako para sa'yo” — alin ang bagay sa balitang ito?

  2. What have you done recently that you are pleased about?

    Anong nagawa mo kamakailan ang ikinatuwa mo?

    Back of the card

    If your win had a tiny trophy, what would be written on it?

    Kung may maliit na trophy ang nagawa mo, ano ang nakasulat dito?

  3. What is one memory with me that still gives you a good feeling?

    Ano yung memory natin na hanggang ngayon good feeling pa rin para sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Good memories are not only for nostalgia. They remind you what kind of connection is worth repeating.

    Hindi lang pang-nostalgia ang good memories. Pinapaalala nila kung anong klaseng connection ang worth ulitin.

  4. When was the last time a meal became a good memory?

    Kailan huling naging magandang memory yung isang meal?

    Back of the card

    A good meal memory is rarely only about food. It can be the timing, the people, or the feeling around the table.

    Hindi lang pagkain ang laman ng good meal memory. Pwedeng timing, kasama, o yung feeling sa paligid ng table.

Two families, one table

3 questions

Who cooks, who makes meals fun, who knows what you like.

  1. Think of someone who makes simple meals more fun. What do they do?

    Isipin yung taong nagpapasaya kahit simpleng kain lang. Ano yung ginagawa niya?

    Back of the card

    A meal does not need to be fancy to feel full of life. Sometimes one person's energy changes the whole mood.

    Hindi kailangang fancy ang kain para maging masaya. Minsan energy lang ng isang tao, nag-iiba na yung mood.

  2. Who knows what you like, and what do they usually get right for you?

    Sino yung alam ang gusto mo, at ano yung madalas nilang natatama para sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Being known can feel ordinary like that. Someone remembers your usual, your no-thanks, or the thing you always reach for.

    Minsan ganun kasimple yung feeling na kilala ka. May nakakaalala ng usual mo, ayaw mo, o lagi mong pinipili.

  3. Who do you enjoy eating with, even if the food is simple?

    Sino yung masarap kasamang kumain kahit simple lang ang pagkain?

    Back of the card

    The company can change the meal. Some people make even ordinary food feel warmer.

    Iba ang pagkain kapag okay ang kasama. May mga taong kahit simpleng meal, gumagaan yung moment.

Traditions of your own

4 questions

Holidays, celebrations and the habits you want to start.

  1. Create a new holiday that everyone gets to celebrate. What happens that day?

    Gumawa ng bagong holiday na puwedeng i-celebrate ng lahat. Ano ang ginagawa sa araw na iyon?

    Back of the card

    What tradition would belong to your holiday?

    Anong tradisyon ang bagay sa holiday mo?

  2. What playful little habit of ours do you hope we keep?

    Ano yung maliit na playful habit natin na sana hindi mawala?

    Back of the card

    Play helps protect a relationship from becoming only serious, busy, or practical with each other.

    Nakakatulong ang play para hindi lang maging seryoso, busy, o practical ang relationship ninyo.

  3. Design a celebration just for you. What would make it feel special?

    Magplano ng celebration para sa sarili mo. Ano ang magpapaspecial dito?

    Back of the card

    Which part of the celebration would you happily repeat the next day?

    Aling bahagi ng celebration ang masaya mong uulitin kinabukasan?

  4. What simple date or hangout would you still enjoy with me?

    Anong simpleng date o hangout ang gusto mo pa ring gawin natin?

    Back of the card

    Simple plans can show what kind of togetherness feels good right now: quiet, playful, slow, active, or just being together.

    Sa simple plans, lumalabas kung anong klaseng togetherness ang masarap ngayon: tahimik, playful, chill, active, o basta magkasama.

Before the big day

5 questions

Gentle ones about hard talks and staying kind under stress.

  1. What helps you share something hard with me without feeling judged?

    Ano yung nakakatulong para makapag-share ka sa akin ng mahirap sabihin nang hindi feeling judged?

    Back of the card

    Honesty needs a safe place to land. Your answer can show what helps truth feel less risky between you.

    Kailangan ng honesty ng safe na landing place. Makakatulong ang sagot mo para makita kung ano ang nagpapagaan sabihin ang truth sa inyong dalawa.

  2. When you share a worry with me, what do you usually need first: comfort, understanding, or ideas?

    Kapag nag-share ka ng worry sa akin, ano ang usually kailangan mo muna: comfort, understanding, o ideas?

    Back of the card

    All three can be caring, but the order matters. Asking first can help prevent accidental frustration.

    Puwedeng caring lahat ng tatlo, pero mahalaga ang order. Kapag nagtatanong muna, mas naiiwasan ang accidental frustration.

  3. Which fear gets smaller when you talk about it?

    Anong takot ang gumagaan kapag naikukwento mo?

    Back of the card

    Some fears grow in silence and shrink in safe air. Talking can help you see their true size.

    May takot na lumalaki kapag tahimik lang. Kapag naikuwento sa safe na lugar, mas nakikita mo ang totoong laki niya.

  4. Pick one small kindness you can give yourself today.

    Pumili ng isang maliit na kindness na kaya mong ibigay sa sarili mo today.

    Back of the card

    Kindness does not need to be grand to be real. A small mercy can still change how the day feels.

    Hindi kailangang bongga ang kindness para maging totoo. Kahit maliit na mercy, puwedeng baguhin ang feel ng araw.

  5. What little thing has gone well for us lately that we should celebrate more?

    Anong maliit na bagay ang naging okay sa atin lately na dapat nating i-celebrate pa?

    Back of the card

    Good moments grow when they are noticed. Celebrating what went well keeps the relationship from feeling like only tasks and problems.

    Mas lumalakas yung magagandang moments kapag napapansin. Kapag sine-celebrate natin yung naging okay, hindi puro tasks at problema ang relationship.

How to use them

Before you ask

Engagement is a strange season: everyone asks about the wedding, and very few people ask about the two of you. Good questions for engaged couples bring it back to the relationship: how each of you wants good news celebrated, who in your families makes ordinary meals fun, which new holiday you’d invent, how you each like to share something hard.

The engagement often disappears under planning. Venues, guest lists and budgets take over every conversation, and some couples reach the wedding feeling more like project managers than partners. Setting aside one evening a month for questions that have nothing to do with the wedding protects the reason you’re having one.

This page is the lighter half of engagement conversations. For the serious premarital questions about money, conflict and the future, see questions to ask before marriage; for the planning itself, try questions for wedding planning.

Good for

  • Engagement dinners
  • The months after the proposal
  • Meeting each other’s extended families
  • Engagement photo shoots and road trips
  • A break from wedding planning

Tips

  1. Keep one night a month wedding-free.
  2. Tell the proposal story from both sides; it’s different every time.
  3. Write down the traditions you invent, and actually start one before the wedding.
  4. Answer the “before the big day” questions in a calm week, not the week of.
  5. Thank each other often. Engagements are stressful in ways nobody admits.

Decks for this

Engaged couples

Frequently asked questions

What questions should engaged couples ask each other?

Beyond wedding plans: the story of the proposal from both sides, how each family celebrates, which traditions you want to start, and how you each prefer to handle hard conversations. Save the heavier premarital topics for separate talks.

How do engaged couples stay connected during wedding planning?

Protect regular time with no wedding talk at all, like a monthly dinner with conversation questions. It keeps the focus on the relationship, not the event.

What is the difference between this page and premarital questions?

These are for enjoying the engagement. Premarital questions cover money, conflict, children and the future in more depth; you will want both.

Bring a better question to the table.

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