Questions · Newlyweds

Questions for newlyweds, while the rice is still in your hair

Questions for newly married couples in the first months. Relive the good bits, sort out whose house rules win, learn how each of you likes to be supported, and say a few hopes for the year out loud.

  • 17 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Getting to know№ 15

When was the last time a meal became a good memory?

Kailan huling naging magandang memory yung isang meal?

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A note

A good meal memory is rarely only about food. It can be the timing, the people, or the feeling around the table.

Hindi lang pagkain ang laman ng good meal memory. Pwedeng timing, kasama, o yung feeling sa paligid ng table.

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The questions

17 questions for newlyweds

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

Still glowing

4 questions

The wedding, the meals and the days that already feel like memories.

  1. What little thing has gone well for us lately that we should celebrate more?

    Anong maliit na bagay ang naging okay sa atin lately na dapat nating i-celebrate pa?

    Back of the card

    Good moments grow when they are noticed. Celebrating what went well keeps the relationship from feeling like only tasks and problems.

    Mas lumalakas yung magagandang moments kapag napapansin. Kapag sine-celebrate natin yung naging okay, hindi puro tasks at problema ang relationship.

  2. When we spend a day together, what moment feels most special between us?

    Kapag magkasama tayo sa isang araw, anong moment ang pinaka-special para sa atin?

    Back of the card

    Couples often build closeness through repeated little moments. Naming them helps you notice and protect what feels good between you.

    Madalas nabubuo ang closeness sa paulit-ulit na maliliit na moments. Kapag napangalanan ninyo, mas napapansin at naaalagaan yung maganda sa pagitan ninyo.

  3. When was the last time a meal became a good memory?

    Kailan huling naging magandang memory yung isang meal?

    Back of the card

    A good meal memory is rarely only about food. It can be the timing, the people, or the feeling around the table.

    Hindi lang pagkain ang laman ng good meal memory. Pwedeng timing, kasama, o yung feeling sa paligid ng table.

  4. What day from the past would you like to watch?

    Anong araw sa nakaraan ang gusto mong mapanood?

    Back of the card

    Pause on one scene from that day. Which detail would you want to look at longer?

    Huminto muna sa isang eksena ng araw na iyon. Anong detalye ang gusto mong tingnan nang mas matagal?

Two households, one kitchen

4 questions

The rules each of you grew up with, and which ones stay.

  1. Share one food rule your household still follows.

    Mag-share ng isang food rule na sinusunod pa rin sa bahay niyo.

    Back of the card

    House rules around food can be funny, practical, or oddly sacred. They carry the flavor of how people grew up.

    Yung food rules sa bahay, minsan funny, minsan practical, minsan oddly sacred. May flavor siya ng kinalakihan natin.

  2. Tell us about a small habit at home that you thought was normal for everyone.

    Kuwento mo yung maliit na habit sa bahay na akala mo normal sa lahat.

    Back of the card

    Every home has its own normal. Sometimes you only notice it when another house does things differently.

    Bawat bahay may sariling normal. Minsan doon mo lang napapansin kapag iba pala ang style sa ibang bahay.

  3. At home, who usually notices the chores, mess, or little things first?

    Sa bahay ninyo, sino yung madalas unang nakakapansin ng chores, kalat, o maliliit na kailangan gawin?

    Back of the card

    Every home has someone who notices first. That kind of attention can be quiet, but it keeps many things moving.

    Sa bawat bahay, may taong unang nakakapansin. Tahimik minsan yung ganung attention, pero marami siyang napapaandar.

  4. Complete the line: I'm chill, but please don't ___.

    Kumpletuhin: Chill naman ako, pero please wag ___.

    Back of the card

    Tiny pet peeves are usually harmless, but they still deserve their moment. Everyone has a small line somewhere.

    Harmless lang ang tiny pet peeves, pero deserve din nila ng moment. Lahat tayo may small line somewhere.

Learning to be married

5 questions

Good news, bad days and the tone that helps.

  1. When you share good news with me, what first response helps you feel celebrated?

    Kapag nag-share ka sa akin ng good news, anong unang response ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na sine-celebrate kita?

    Back of the card

    Celebrating well is a kind of care. It shows your partner that their joy has space with you.

    Care din ang marunong mag-celebrate. Pinaparamdam nito sa partner mo na may space sa'yo ang joy niya.

  2. When you are doubting yourself, what kind of encouragement from me helps the most?

    Kapag nagda-doubt ka sa sarili mo, anong klaseng encouragement mula sa akin ang pinaka-nakakatulong?

    Back of the card

    Encouragement works best when it fits the moment. Some days need belief, some need listening, and some need quiet company.

    Mas tumatama ang encouragement kapag bagay sa moment. May araw na kailangan ng tiwala, may araw na pakikinig, at may araw na tahimik na kasama.

  3. What kind of tone from me helps you stay open when the topic is hard?

    Anong klaseng tono mula sa akin ang tumutulong sa'yo manatiling open kapag hard ang topic?

    Back of the card

    Tone can open or close a conversation before the words fully land. Being gentle does not mean being unclear.

    Puwedeng magbukas o magsara ang tono bago pa lubos marinig ang sinasabi. Hindi ibig sabihin na unclear kapag gentle.

  4. When we are both tired, what small help from me would mean a lot?

    Kapag pareho tayong pagod, anong maliit na tulong mula sa akin ang malaking bagay sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Tired love does not need grand effort. Small, realistic support can help you stay close without asking too much from either of you.

    Hindi kailangan ng grand effort kapag pareho kayong pagod. Minsan maliit at realistic na support ang tumutulong para manatiling close kayo.

  5. What small habit of mine makes you feel cared for?

    Ano yung maliit kong habit na nagpaparamdam sa'yo na inaalagaan kita?

    Back of the card

    Care does not always have to be big. Sometimes it is a small pattern your partner has learned to count on.

    Hindi kailangang grand ang care. Minsan maliit na habit lang siya na natutunan mong asahan sa akin.

Hopes for year one

4 questions

Small and specific. You have decades for the big ones.

  1. What habit of ours do you hope we keep in the next season?

    Anong habit natin ang sana ituloy natin sa next season?

    Back of the card

    Keeping what works is also growth. Not every next step has to be about fixing a problem.

    Growth din ang pagpapatuloy ng gumagana. Hindi lahat ng next step kailangang tungkol sa pag-aayos ng problema.

  2. Name one small wish you have for yourself this year.

    Ano yung isang maliit na wish mo para sa sarili mo this year?

    Back of the card

    Small wishes can still be honest. They may be easier to say out loud because they do not demand a perfect life.

    Maliit man yung wish, honest pa rin. Minsan mas madaling sabihin kasi hindi niya hinihingi na perfect ang buhay.

  3. Name one good thing you are quietly hoping for.

    Magsabi ng isang good thing na tahimik mong hinihiling lately.

    Back of the card

    Quiet hopes still deserve room. Saying them gently can remind you that wanting good things is not foolish.

    May lugar din ang tahimik na hopes. Kapag nasabi mo sila nang gentle, naaalala mong hindi foolish ang umasa sa mabuti.

  4. With an unlimited budget, what extra room would you add to your home?

    Kung walang limit ang budget, anong dagdag na kuwarto ang gusto mo sa bahay?

    Back of the card

    If the new room had a sign on its door, what would it say?

    Kung may karatula sa pinto ng bagong kuwarto, ano ang nakasulat doon?

How to use them

Before you ask

Good questions for newlyweds mix celebration with discovery: which moment of the wedding day you would watch again, which of your family’s house rules your spouse thought was normal for everyone, what kind of encouragement helps when one of you doubts yourself. You know each other well, but being married is a new arrangement.

The first months are full of small surprises. Who notices the dishes first, how each of you wants good news met, what “I’m fine” actually means at 9 p.m. Newlyweds tend to discover these in the middle of a tired evening. Asking early, while you’re still in the glow, makes the discovery fun instead of tense.

Start with the glow; it puts you both in a generous mood. The household questions are best answered with a laugh and a list. Keep the “learning to be married” set for a calm evening, and finish with a couple of small hopes you can check on at your first anniversary.

Good for

  • The first quiet weekend after the wedding
  • Unpacking wedding gifts together
  • Sunday breakfast in your new place
  • A monthsary dinner in year one
  • Writing a first-anniversary letter

Tips

  1. Write down your answers to the last group and reopen them on your first anniversary.
  2. When house rules clash, pick one each to keep. It’s a trade, not a ruling.
  3. Answer the “learning to be married” questions for yourself first.
  4. Don’t compare your first months to anyone’s highlight reel.
  5. Some tension is normal. Asking about it is a good sign, not a bad one.

Decks for this

Newlyweds

Frequently asked questions

What questions should newlyweds ask each other?

Ask about favorite wedding moments, which house rules from each family you want to keep, how each of you wants support on a bad day, and one small hope for your first year. Mix celebration with practical discovery.

What do newlyweds argue about most?

Usually the small stuff of a shared home: chores, routines, time with family and money habits. Talking about house rules and expectations early, with humor, takes a lot of the heat out.

Are these different from questions for married couples?

Yes. These are for the first months, when you are still merging lives. For the long middle of marriage, see questions for married couples.

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