Questions · Moving in together
Questions to ask before moving in together, before the boxes arrive
Questions to ask before moving in together, from the thermostat to the dishes. How each of you lives now, the homes you grew up in, how you’ll share the space, and the calmer talks worth having before you sign anything.
- 23 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Tell us about a small habit at home that you thought was normal for everyone.
Kuwento mo yung maliit na habit sa bahay na akala mo normal sa lahat.
Every home has its own normal. Sometimes you only notice it when another house does things differently.
Bawat bahay may sariling normal. Minsan doon mo lang napapansin kapag iba pala ang style sa ibang bahay.
The questions
23 questions to ask before moving in together
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
How you each live now
6 questions
Thermostat settings, routines and the things that go missing.
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Describe your ideal electric fan or aircon setting.
I-describe yung ideal electric fan o aircon setting mo.
Back of the card
Temperature preferences can become a whole personality. Comfort has settings, and everyone defends theirs a little.
Yung temperature preference, minsan personality na rin. May settings ang comfort, at may kanya-kanya tayong ipinaglalaban.
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Name the household item that becomes an issue when it goes missing.
Sabihin yung gamit sa bahay na nagiging issue kapag nawawala.
Back of the card
Some objects are only appreciated when they disappear. Their absence somehow turns the whole house into a search party.
May gamit na napapansin lang kapag nawawala. Bigla na lang buong bahay, search party na.
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Name one pambahay item you always reach for, like a shirt, shorts, slippers, blanket, or mug.
Magbanggit ng isang pambahay item na lagi mong ginagamit, like shirt, shorts, tsinelas, kumot, o mug.
Back of the card
The best pambahay items are not trying to impress anyone. They just show up, stay comfortable, and do their job.
Yung best pambahay items, hindi kailangan magpa-impress. Comfortable lang, reliable, at laging ready sa bahay.
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Name one item you always seem to lose, like keys, earphones, a pen, a charger, or your wallet.
Magbanggit ng isang item na parang lagi mong nawawala, like susi, earphones, pen, charger, o wallet.
Back of the card
Some items have a talent for vanishing at the worst time. At some point, it starts to feel like a relationship issue.
May items na ang galing mawala sa worst time. Dumadating sa point na parang relationship issue na siya.
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When you get home, what’s the first thing you usually do?
Pag-uwi mo, ano yung unang bagay na usually mong ginagawa?
Back of the card
That first move can be funny, tired, quiet, or automatic. It can say something about how you settle in.
Yung first move na iyon pwedeng nakakatawa, pagod, tahimik, o automatic. May sinasabi rin siya kung paano ka nagse-settle.
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Which everyday sound reminds you of home right away?
Anong everyday sound ang nagpapaalala agad sa'yo ng home?
Back of the card
Home is not always a place first. Sometimes it is a sound you recognize before you even think about it.
Hindi laging lugar agad ang home. Minsan sound siya na kilala mo na bago mo pa isipin.
The homes you grew up in
5 questions
Where most house rules quietly come from.
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Tell us about a small habit at home that you thought was normal for everyone.
Kuwento mo yung maliit na habit sa bahay na akala mo normal sa lahat.
Back of the card
Every home has its own normal. Sometimes you only notice it when another house does things differently.
Bawat bahay may sariling normal. Minsan doon mo lang napapansin kapag iba pala ang style sa ibang bahay.
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Share one food rule your household still follows.
Mag-share ng isang food rule na sinusunod pa rin sa bahay niyo.
Back of the card
House rules around food can be funny, practical, or oddly sacred. They carry the flavor of how people grew up.
Yung food rules sa bahay, minsan funny, minsan practical, minsan oddly sacred. May flavor siya ng kinalakihan natin.
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When you think of home, what small detail comes up first?
Kapag naiisip mo ang home, anong maliit na detail ang unang pumapasok?
Back of the card
Home can be a smell, a sound, a person, a room, or one ordinary detail that stayed.
Pwedeng amoy, tunog, tao, kwarto, o isang ordinaryong detail ang home. Minsan yun ang unang bumabalik.
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Name a topic your family or friends can discuss forever.
Sabihin yung topic na kayang pag-usapan forever ng family o friends mo.
Back of the card
Every group has a topic that refuses to end. It keeps coming back because everyone has one more detail to add.
May topic talaga na ayaw matapos. Paulit-ulit bumabalik kasi laging may dagdag na kwento ang bawat isa.
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At home, who usually notices the chores, mess, or little things first?
Sa bahay ninyo, sino yung madalas unang nakakapansin ng chores, kalat, o maliliit na kailangan gawin?
Back of the card
Every home has someone who notices first. That kind of attention can be quiet, but it keeps many things moving.
Sa bawat bahay, may taong unang nakakapansin. Tahimik minsan yung ganung attention, pero marami siyang napapaandar.
Sharing the space
6 questions
Chores, comfort and what home should feel like.
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What is one chore, errand, or task that feels lighter when we do it as a team?
Anong chore, errand, o task ang gumagaan kapag team tayo?
Back of the card
Teamwork is not only for big seasons. It also shows up in the small work of keeping life moving.
Hindi lang pang-big season ang teamwork. Lumalabas din ito sa maliliit na gawain para gumalaw ang buhay.
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What simple thing we do together makes you feel at home with me?
Anong simpleng ginagawa natin together ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na at home ka sa akin?
Back of the card
Home is not always a place. Sometimes it is a rhythm, a tone, or a person who helps you feel settled.
Hindi laging lugar ang home. Minsan rhythm, tono, o tao siya na tumutulong sa'yo kumalma at maging settled.
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With an unlimited budget, what extra room would you add to your home?
Kung walang limit ang budget, anong dagdag na kuwarto ang gusto mo sa bahay?
Back of the card
If the new room had a sign on its door, what would it say?
Kung may karatula sa pinto ng bagong kuwarto, ano ang nakasulat doon?
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What ordinary routine of ours would you miss if it disappeared?
Anong ordinary routine natin ang mami-miss mo kung ito ay mawawala?
Back of the card
Routines can feel small until they are gone. They quietly hold the shape of your life together.
Mukhang maliit ang routines hanggang mawala sila. Tahimik nilang binubuo yung feeling ng buhay ninyong magkasama.
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What small things make a room feel welcoming to you?
Anong maliliit na bagay ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka sa isang room?
Back of the card
Welcome can come from tone, space, food, faces, or small signals that say you do not have to prove yourself.
Puwedeng galing sa tono, space, pagkain, mukha ng tao, o maliliit na sign na hindi mo kailangang patunayan ang sarili mo.
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Would you rather have someone cook or clean for you?
Mas gusto mo bang may magluto o maglinis para sa'yo?
Back of the card
Picture doing something you enjoy while they handle the task.
Isipin ang masayang gagawin mo habang sila ang bahala.
Before you sign anything
6 questions
Calmer talks about fairness, quiet time and disagreements.
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What part of our life needs more fairness, and feels safe enough to talk about calmly?
Anong part ng buhay natin ang kailangan ng mas fairness, at kaya nating pag-usapan nang kalmado?
Back of the card
Fairness is easier to talk about when it is specific. One calm area is better than opening every frustration at once.
Mas madaling pag-usapan ang fairness kapag specific. Mas okay ang isang kalmadong area kaysa sabay-sabay na buksan lahat ng frustration.
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When is it easiest for you to have a serious conversation with me?
Kailan mas madali para sa'yo makipag-usap sa akin tungkol sa serious na bagay?
Back of the card
Good timing does not make hard topics disappear. It just helps both people stay calmer, clearer, and more present.
Hindi nawawala ang hard topics dahil sa good timing. Pero nakakatulong ito para mas kalmado, malinaw, at present kayong dalawa.
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What small action helps us reconnect after a misunderstanding?
Anong maliit na action ang tumutulong sa atin mag-reconnect after a misunderstanding?
Back of the card
Reconnecting does not erase what happened. It helps both of you return to the conversation with a little more care.
Hindi binubura ng pag-reconnect ang nangyari. Tinutulungan lang kayong bumalik sa usapan nang may mas care.
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What helps you settle down after a full day?
Ano ang nakakatulong sa'yo mag-settle after a full day?
Back of the card
The way you come down from a full day matters. Small rituals can help your mind know it is safe to rest.
Mahalaga rin kung paano ka bumababa from a full day. Kahit maliit na ritual, puwedeng signal na safe nang magpahinga.
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How do you usually unwind after a long day?
Paano ka usually nagpapahinga pagkatapos ng mahabang araw?
Back of the card
Everyone has a different way of landing after a full day. It can be quiet, active, social, or very simple.
Iba-iba tayo ng paraan mag-settle after a long day. Puwedeng tahimik, active, may kasama, o simple lang.
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What boundary around time, phones, or attention would help us be more present with each other?
Anong boundary sa time, phone, o attention ang makakatulong para mas present tayo sa isa't isa?
Back of the card
Boundaries are not always walls. Sometimes they protect the attention your relationship needs to feel connected.
Hindi laging pader ang boundaries. Minsan pinoprotektahan nila yung attention na kailangan ng relationship para mas maramdaman ang connection.
How to use them
Before you ask
Most move-in arguments aren’t about love. They’re about the temperature, the wet towel on the bed, whose turn it is to take out the trash and whether shoes come off at the door. Every one of those is a habit someone learned at home years ago, usually without noticing. Asking about them before you share a key turns future fights into funny stories you heard in advance.
Go in order. Start with how each of you lives now: the first thing you do when you get home, the item that causes chaos when it goes missing. Then ask about the homes you grew up in, where most of the rules come from. Then talk about sharing the space: chores, quiet time, guests. Save the questions about fairness and hard conversations for a calm evening, not moving day.
The cards mix the Couples deck with questions anyone can answer, and each has a Tagalog version. The Couples Edition adds more about routines and the season ahead. Treat the answers as information, not a negotiation; you’re learning what normal looks like for the other person. Then agree on the two or three things that matter most.
Good for
Tips
- Ask about the home they grew up in; most habits start there.
- Laugh about the small stuff now so it stays small later.
- Agree on two or three house rules, not twenty.
- Talk about alone time before anyone needs it.
- Have the fairness talk on a calm night, never in the middle of unpacking.
Decks for this
Moving in together
Frequently asked questions
What should you talk about before moving in together?
Daily habits like sleep, temperature and tidiness, how chores will be shared, how much alone time each of you needs, guests, and how you handle disagreements. Ask about the homes you grew up in too, since most expectations start there.
What questions should couples ask before living together?
Ask what they do first when they get home, which household item causes trouble when it goes missing, who usually notices mess first, which chore feels lighter as a team, and how they like to wind down after a long day.
How do you know you’re ready to move in together?
When you can talk about chores, money and alone time calmly, and disagree without it turning into a fight. If those conversations still feel impossible, have them first; the move won’t make them easier.
Is there a game for couples to play before moving in?
Kumustahan is a conversation card app with a Couples deck and decks about everyday habits, in English with Tagalog on every card. Choose Keep it light for the habit questions and Open up for the bigger ones.
Bring a better question to the table.
Free on iPhone and Android. 420 cards free, no account, works offline.