Questions · Wedding planning
Questions to ask each other while planning a wedding
Questions for couples in the middle of wedding planning. Decide what matters before anything is booked, split the work fairly, handle the stressful weeks, and remind each other what the day is actually for.
- 16 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
What small things make a room feel welcoming to you?
Anong maliliit na bagay ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka sa isang room?
Welcome can come from tone, space, food, faces, or small signals that say you do not have to prove yourself.
Puwedeng galing sa tono, space, pagkain, mukha ng tao, o maliliit na sign na hindi mo kailangang patunayan ang sarili mo.
The questions
16 questions for wedding planning
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Before you book anything
4 questions
Food, place or people? Answer this first and many decisions make themselves.
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For a good hangout, what matters most: tasty food, a comfy place, or good conversation?
Sa bonding, ano ang pinakamahalaga: masarap na pagkain, komportableng lugar, o masayang kuwentuhan?
Back of the card
Imagine a hangout with your top choice and nothing fancy. Where would it happen?
Isipin ang simpleng bonding na mayroon ng pinili mo. Saan ito mangyayari?
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Design a celebration just for you. What would make it feel special?
Magplano ng celebration para sa sarili mo. Ano ang magpapaspecial dito?
Back of the card
Which part of the celebration would you happily repeat the next day?
Aling bahagi ng celebration ang masaya mong uulitin kinabukasan?
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Choose a simple way friends could celebrate your birthday without spending much.
Pumili ng simpleng paraan para i-celebrate ng friends ang birthday mo nang hindi gumagastos nang malaki.
Back of the card
One detail can be just for you: the music, the timing, or something else you love.
Puwedeng may isang detalye para talaga sa'yo: music, oras, o iba pang gusto mo.
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What small things make a room feel welcoming to you?
Anong maliliit na bagay ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka sa isang room?
Back of the card
Welcome can come from tone, space, food, faces, or small signals that say you do not have to prove yourself.
Puwedeng galing sa tono, space, pagkain, mukha ng tao, o maliliit na sign na hindi mo kailangang patunayan ang sarili mo.
Dividing the work
5 questions
Roles, favors and help that feels supportive.
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In a group hangout, which role do you usually fall into: planner, joker, listener, snack person, or something else?
Sa group hangout, anong role ang usually napupunta sa'yo: planner, joker, listener, snack person, o iba pa?
Back of the card
Group roles can be funny because they appear before anyone assigns them. Somehow every hangout finds its planner, joker, listener, or snack person.
Minsan lumalabas yung role bago pa may mag-assign. Sa bawat hangout, may planner, joker, listener, o snack person talaga.
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What is one chore, errand, or task that feels lighter when we do it as a team?
Anong chore, errand, o task ang gumagaan kapag team tayo?
Back of the card
Teamwork is not only for big seasons. It also shows up in the small work of keeping life moving.
Hindi lang pang-big season ang teamwork. Lumalabas din ito sa maliliit na gawain para gumalaw ang buhay.
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What small task would you happily ask a friend to help with?
Sa anong simpleng gawain mo gustong magpatulong sa friend?
Back of the card
Would their help save time, make it more fun, or simply give you company?
Makakatipid ba ng oras ang tulong nila, mas magiging masaya, o magkakaroon ka lang ng kasama?
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When doing something with friends, which small job do you enjoy helping with?
Kapag may ginagawa kayo ng friends, anong parte ang gusto mong akuin para makatulong?
Back of the card
Would you still enjoy that job with a much bigger group?
Gusto mo pa rin ba ang gawaing iyon kung mas marami ang kasama?
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When I am trying to help with something you are dealing with, what makes my help feel supportive instead of controlling?
Kapag tinutulungan kita sa pinagdadaanan mo, ano yung nagpaparamdam na supportive ako at hindi controlling?
Back of the card
Help lands better when it still respects your partner's choice. Good support helps them feel accompanied, not managed.
Mas okay ang tulong kapag may respeto pa rin sa choice ng partner mo. Good support makes them feel na may kasama sila, hindi minamanage.
When it gets stressful
5 questions
For the week the caterer cancels.
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When we are both tired, what small help from me would mean a lot?
Kapag pareho tayong pagod, anong maliit na tulong mula sa akin ang malaking bagay sa'yo?
Back of the card
Tired love does not need grand effort. Small, realistic support can help you stay close without asking too much from either of you.
Hindi kailangan ng grand effort kapag pareho kayong pagod. Minsan maliit at realistic na support ang tumutulong para manatiling close kayo.
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What might you need to say no to, pause, or limit so your week feels lighter?
Ano yung kailangan mong hihindian, i-pause, o limitahan para mas gumaan ang week mo?
Back of the card
A boundary is not always a wall. Sometimes it is a small line that helps you stay present and honest.
Hindi laging pader ang boundary. Minsan maliit na line lang siya para mas present at honest ka.
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Name one thing that can wait until tomorrow.
Magbanggit ng isang bagay na puwedeng maghintay hanggang bukas.
Back of the card
Not everything needs today's strength. Letting one thing wait can be a practical kind of kindness.
Hindi lahat kailangan ng lakas mo today. Minsan praktikal na kindness yung hayaan munang maghintay ang isang bagay.
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When plans change, how do you decide what to keep, drop, or adjust?
Kapag nagbago ang plans, paano mo dini-decide kung ano ang itutuloy, bibitawan, o ia-adjust?
Back of the card
Changed plans show priorities quickly. Sometimes the real answer is comfort, people, responsibility, peace, or simply energy.
Kapag nagbago ang plans, mabilis lumabas ang priorities. Minsan comfort, tao, responsibility, peace, o energy lang talaga.
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Name one pressure you may have gotten used to carrying lately.
Magbanggit ng isang pressure na baka nasanay ka nang dalhin lately.
Back of the card
Some pressure becomes familiar, but familiar does not always mean light. You can notice it without needing to solve it tonight.
May pressure na nasasanayan, pero hindi ibig sabihin magaan na siya. Puwede mo munang mapansin bago ayusin.
Remembering why
2 questions
Read these the night before.
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What little thing do I do that makes ordinary days feel better?
Ano sa maliliit kong ginagawa ang nagpapagaan ng ordinary days natin?
Back of the card
Small care counts because it repeats. Naming it helps both of you notice the quiet ways love already shows up.
Mahalaga yung maliit na care kasi paulit-ulit siya. Kapag nasabi, mas napapansin ninyo kung paano lumalabas ang love sa ordinary days.
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What is something I handled well recently that meant more to you than I realized?
Ano yung isang bagay na nahandle ko nang maayos recently na mas malaking bagay pala sa'yo kaysa akala ko?
Back of the card
Specific appreciation helps your partner see what felt caring, steady, mature, or brave in real life.
Nakakatulong ang specific appreciation para makita ng partner mo kung ano yung naging caring, steady, mature, o brave sa totoong buhay.
How to use them
Before you ask
The most useful wedding planning question comes first: for a good celebration, what matters most to each of you, the food, the place or the people? Answering that before you book anything settles dozens of later decisions, from the venue to the guest list to where the budget goes.
Planning goes wrong when one person becomes the default planner and the other the occasional approver. Resentment builds quietly. Asking each other which roles you naturally fall into, which tasks you’d happily hand to a friend, and what kind of help actually feels supportive keeps it a shared project.
Stress is guaranteed somewhere in the process. When it hits, the third group helps you sort what can wait until tomorrow and what to drop. The last two questions are not about the wedding at all, which is the point.
Good for
Tips
- Each of you names your top three priorities before any vendor meeting.
- Assign every task an owner, not just a deadline.
- Ask friends for specific help; vague offers rarely turn into real help.
- When stressed, sort the list into today, later and drop.
- Spend at least one evening a week not talking about the wedding.
Keep one night a week wedding-free
Couples who plan a wedding for a year can go months without a conversation that isn’t about it. Pick one evening a week where vendors, spreadsheets and seating charts are off limits. Cook together, take a walk, or draw a few fun questions for couples instead.
If one of you slips, the other just says “Tuesday”, and you change the subject. It sounds small. By the wedding, it adds up to dozens of evenings that were just about you.
Wedding planning questions
Frequently asked questions
What should couples discuss when planning a wedding?
What matters most to each of you (food, place or people), how you will divide the work, who you can ask for help, and how you will handle stressful weeks. Agreeing on priorities first makes every later decision easier.
How do you split wedding planning fairly?
Talk about the roles you each naturally take, give every task a clear owner, and check in weekly. Fair rarely means fifty-fifty on every task; it means both of you feel the load is shared.
How do you handle wedding planning stress as a couple?
Name what can wait, drop what doesn’t matter to either of you, and protect regular time together that has nothing to do with the wedding.
Bring a better question to the table.
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