Questions · Love language questions
Love language questions about how you each feel cared for
Questions about how you feel loved, for couples who want to stop guessing. Kind words, time together, practical help, small gifts and closeness, asked about your real life together.
- 24 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Which compliment have you remembered long after someone said it?
Anong compliment ang tumatak sa'yo kahit matagal na itong sinabi?
The exact words are optional. Notice which part of the compliment stayed with you.
Hindi kailangan ang eksaktong salita. Balikan kung aling bahagi ng papuri ang tumatak sa'yo.
The questions
24 love language questions
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
What each of you notices
5 questions
General questions that show where someone looks for care.
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Which small kindness from other people do you notice right away?
Anong small kindness mula sa ibang tao ang napapansin mo agad?
Back of the card
It could be someone checking in, saving you a seat, helping quietly, or remembering a small detail. The kindness you notice may be the kind you needed before.
Puwedeng may nag-check in, nagtira ng seat, tumulong quietly, o nakaalala ng small detail. Baka yung kindness na napapansin mo ang kind na kinailangan mo dati.
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Which compliment have you remembered long after someone said it?
Anong compliment ang tumatak sa'yo kahit matagal na itong sinabi?
Back of the card
The exact words are optional. Notice which part of the compliment stayed with you.
Hindi kailangan ang eksaktong salita. Balikan kung aling bahagi ng papuri ang tumatak sa'yo.
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Tell us about a food that reminds you of someone taking care of you.
Ikuwento yung pagkain na nagpapaalala sa'yo ng alaga ng isang tao.
Back of the card
Food can carry care without needing big words. Sometimes the simple act of feeding someone well becomes a memory by itself.
Kayang magdala ng care ang pagkain kahit walang malaking salita. Minsan yung simpleng pag-alaga sa pagkain, nagiging memory na.
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Who knows what you like, and what do they usually get right for you?
Sino yung alam ang gusto mo, at ano yung madalas nilang natatama para sa'yo?
Back of the card
Being known can feel ordinary like that. Someone remembers your usual, your no-thanks, or the thing you always reach for.
Minsan ganun kasimple yung feeling na kilala ka. May nakakaalala ng usual mo, ayaw mo, o lagi mong pinipili.
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If someone were choosing a snack or drink for you, what’s one choice that would almost always work?
Kung may pipili ng snack o drink para sa'yo, ano yung halos laging okay sa'yo?
Back of the card
Tiny preferences can be an easy way to know someone better. It feels good when people remember the simple things.
Minsan sa small preferences tayo mas nakikilala. Nakakatuwa rin kapag may nakakaalala ng simple things about you.
Words, time and attention
6 questions
Greetings, encouragement and the moments that feel like yours.
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What kind of greeting from me makes you feel most welcomed?
Anong klaseng bati mula sa akin ang pinaka-nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka?
Back of the card
The way you greet each other matters. Even a small hello can make coming back to each other feel warmer.
Mahalaga kung paano ninyo binabati ang isa't isa. Kahit simpleng hello, puwedeng gawing mas warm ang pagbalik ninyo sa isa't isa.
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When you share good news with me, what first response helps you feel celebrated?
Kapag nag-share ka sa akin ng good news, anong unang response ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na sine-celebrate kita?
Back of the card
Celebrating well is a kind of care. It shows your partner that their joy has space with you.
Care din ang marunong mag-celebrate. Pinaparamdam nito sa partner mo na may space sa'yo ang joy niya.
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When you are doubting yourself, what kind of encouragement from me helps the most?
Kapag nagda-doubt ka sa sarili mo, anong klaseng encouragement mula sa akin ang pinaka-nakakatulong?
Back of the card
Encouragement works best when it fits the moment. Some days need belief, some need listening, and some need quiet company.
Mas tumatama ang encouragement kapag bagay sa moment. May araw na kailangan ng tiwala, may araw na pakikinig, at may araw na tahimik na kasama.
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What makes you feel like I am really paying attention to you?
Ano yung nagpaparamdam sa'yo na talagang nakikinig at attentive ako?
Back of the card
Attention feels like love when it feels personal. Specific examples help your partner know what to keep doing.
Mas ramdam ang love kapag personal ang attention. Kapag specific ang example, mas alam ng partner mo kung ano ang ipagpapatuloy.
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When we spend a day together, what moment feels most special between us?
Kapag magkasama tayo sa isang araw, anong moment ang pinaka-special para sa atin?
Back of the card
Couples often build closeness through repeated little moments. Naming them helps you notice and protect what feels good between you.
Madalas nabubuo ang closeness sa paulit-ulit na maliliit na moments. Kapag napangalanan ninyo, mas napapansin at naaalagaan yung maganda sa pagitan ninyo.
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What simple date or hangout would you still enjoy with me?
Anong simpleng date o hangout ang gusto mo pa ring gawin natin?
Back of the card
Simple plans can show what kind of togetherness feels good right now: quiet, playful, slow, active, or just being together.
Sa simple plans, lumalabas kung anong klaseng togetherness ang masarap ngayon: tahimik, playful, chill, active, o basta magkasama.
Help and little gifts
6 questions
The practical side of love, which counts more than people admit.
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What small habit of mine makes you feel cared for?
Ano yung maliit kong habit na nagpaparamdam sa'yo na inaalagaan kita?
Back of the card
Care does not always have to be big. Sometimes it is a small pattern your partner has learned to count on.
Hindi kailangang grand ang care. Minsan maliit na habit lang siya na natutunan mong asahan sa akin.
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What is one practical thing I do that makes life easier for you?
Ano yung practical na ginagawa ko na nagpapadali ng buhay mo?
Back of the card
Practical love is easy to overlook because it blends into the day. Naming it makes invisible effort visible.
Madaling hindi mapansin ang practical love kasi sumasama lang siya sa araw. Kapag nasabi, nakikita ang effort.
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What is one chore, errand, or task that feels lighter when we do it as a team?
Anong chore, errand, o task ang gumagaan kapag team tayo?
Back of the card
Teamwork is not only for big seasons. It also shows up in the small work of keeping life moving.
Hindi lang pang-big season ang teamwork. Lumalabas din ito sa maliliit na gawain para gumalaw ang buhay.
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When we are both tired, what small help from me would mean a lot?
Kapag pareho tayong pagod, anong maliit na tulong mula sa akin ang malaking bagay sa'yo?
Back of the card
Tired love does not need grand effort. Small, realistic support can help you stay close without asking too much from either of you.
Hindi kailangan ng grand effort kapag pareho kayong pagod. Minsan maliit at realistic na support ang tumutulong para manatiling close kayo.
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What is something I handled well recently that meant more to you than I realized?
Ano yung isang bagay na nahandle ko nang maayos recently na mas malaking bagay pala sa'yo kaysa akala ko?
Back of the card
Specific appreciation helps your partner see what felt caring, steady, mature, or brave in real life.
Nakakatulong ang specific appreciation para makita ng partner mo kung ano yung naging caring, steady, mature, o brave sa totoong buhay.
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Pick one small mood upgrade, like a drink, song, scent, snack, or clean space.
Pumili ng isang small mood upgrade, like drink, song, scent, snack, o malinis na space.
Back of the card
A mood upgrade does not need to be big. Sometimes one small detail is enough to change the angle of the day.
Hindi kailangang malaki ang mood upgrade. Minsan isang small detail lang, nag-iiba na yung angle ng araw.
Closeness and feeling chosen
7 questions
For a quiet night. Gentle ones, nothing explicit.
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What is one way I show love that I might not realize means a lot to you?
Ano yung isang paraan ng pagpapakita ko ng love na baka hindi ko alam na malaking bagay pala sa'yo?
Back of the card
Steady care can become easy to miss. Naming it helps both of you notice the love that is already there.
Kapag steady ang care, minsan hindi na napapansin. Kapag pinangalanan natin, mas nakikita ninyo yung love na nandiyan na.
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What small thing I do on a normal day makes you feel chosen?
Anong maliit na ginagawa ko sa ordinary day ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na pinipili kita?
Back of the card
Feeling chosen does not always come from big promises. Often, it comes from steady attention in ordinary moments.
Hindi laging big promises ang nagpaparamdam na pinipili ka. Madalas, galing ito sa steady na attention sa ordinary moments.
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What simple thing we do together makes you feel at home with me?
Anong simpleng ginagawa natin together ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na at home ka sa akin?
Back of the card
Home is not always a place. Sometimes it is a rhythm, a tone, or a person who helps you feel settled.
Hindi laging lugar ang home. Minsan rhythm, tono, o tao siya na tumutulong sa'yo kumalma at maging settled.
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What kind of touch or closeness feels comforting to you after a stressful day?
Anong klaseng closeness o touch ang comforting sa'yo after a stressful day?
Back of the card
Comfort should feel free, not expected. Naming what helps makes closeness kinder and less guessy.
Dapat free ang comfort, hindi expected. Kapag nasabi kung ano ang helpful, mas kind at hindi hulaan ang closeness.
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What kind of message from me makes you feel close to me when we are apart?
Anong klaseng message mula sa akin ang nagpaparamdam sa'yo na close pa rin tayo kahit magkalayo?
Back of the card
Distance does not always need constant contact. Sometimes one thoughtful message can help you feel connected again.
Hindi laging constant contact ang kailangan kapag magkalayo. Minsan isang thoughtful na message lang, nakakatulong nang maramdaman ulit ang connection.
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After a hard day, what simple comfort from me helps you feel okay again?
After a hard day, anong simpleng comfort mula sa akin ang nakakatulong sa'yo maging okay ulit?
Back of the card
Comfort does not have to fix everything. Sometimes it just needs to remind your partner they are not carrying the day alone.
Hindi kailangang ayusin ng comfort ang lahat. Minsan sapat na ma-remind ang partner mo na hindi niya dala ang araw mag-isa.
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When you feel alone, what do I do that helps you feel I am with you?
Kapag pakiramdam mo mag-isa ka, ano yung ginagawa ko na nagpaparamdam sa'yo na kasama mo ako?
Back of the card
Feeling less alone does not mean everything is fixed. Sometimes it means someone noticed, stayed close, and cared enough to check in.
Hindi ibig sabihin na ayos na ang lahat kapag hindi mo na ramdam na mag-isa ka. Minsan sapat na may nakapansin, nanatili, at nangumusta.
How to use them
Before you ask
The idea of love languages is simple: people feel loved in different ways. One person melts at a kind word, another at a full afternoon together, another when someone quietly takes out the trash. Couples often give love the way they like to receive it, and then wonder why it doesn’t land. Questions are the fastest way to find out what actually works for the person in front of you.
These questions skip the quiz and ask about your real life together: which greeting makes your partner feel welcome, which small chore feels lighter as a team, what kind of comfort helps after a hard day. Concrete answers are more useful than a label. “Text me when you land” is something you can actually do tomorrow.
Take turns and answer each question yourself, because the point is to learn each other, not to grade each other. Most cards come from the Couples deck; the Couples Edition has more. Every card is in English and Tagalog. If you want the follow-up talk, try our relationship check-in questions.
Good for
Tips
- Ask for one example, not a category: “what did I do last week that felt good?”
- Answer the same question yourself, and notice where you differ.
- Pick one small thing from their answer and do it this week.
- Don’t argue with an answer. How someone feels loved isn’t up for debate.
- Come back to these in a few months. What helps can change with the season.
Decks for this
Love language questions
Frequently asked questions
What are good love language questions?
Questions about real moments: which small habit of mine makes you feel cared for, what kind of message helps when we’re apart, what comfort helps after a hard day. Specific answers tell you more than picking a category.
How do I find out my partner’s love language?
Ask what you did recently that made them feel loved, and listen for the pattern: words, time, help, gifts or closeness. Then try one small thing in that direction and see how it lands.
What if we have different love languages?
That’s common and fine. Each of you learns to give care in the way the other receives it, and you both say clearly what helps instead of hoping the other will guess.
Are there love language questions in Tagalog?
Yes. Every question on this page has an English and a Filipino/Tagalog version, so each of you can read the one that feels more natural.
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