Questions · Talking stage
Talking stage questions that beat “wyd”
Questions to ask in the talking stage, when you’re texting every day and it doesn’t have a name yet. Easy openers, their real routine, the people around them, and a few that show what they care about.
- 23 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
How do you usually unwind after a long day?
Paano ka usually nagpapahinga pagkatapos ng mahabang araw?
Everyone has a different way of landing after a full day. It can be quiet, active, social, or very simple.
Iba-iba tayo ng paraan mag-settle after a long day. Puwedeng tahimik, active, may kasama, o simple lang.
The questions
23 talking stage questions
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Easy ones to text
7 questions
Quick picks they can answer from anywhere.
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On a plane, would you choose a window seat or more room for your legs?
Sa eroplano, mas gusto mo ba ng upuan sa tabi ng bintana o mas maluwag para sa mga paa mo?
Back of the card
For this flight, would you rather chat, nap, or watch the view?
Sa biyaheng ito, mas gusto mo bang makipagkuwentuhan, umidlip, o tumingin sa tanawin?
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Would you rather know the exact weather or the exact traffic before leaving home?
Bago umalis, alin ang gusto mong siguradong alam: lagay ng panahon o lagay ng traffic?
Back of the card
Imagine you check before a day out. What would you pack differently?
Isipin na nag-check ka bago ang lakad. Ano ang iibahin mo sa mga dadalhin mo?
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If you could change the color of anything, what would you change?
Kung kaya mong palitan ang kulay ng kahit ano, ano ang papalitan mo?
Back of the card
What color would you choose for it?
Anong kulay ang pipiliin mo para rito?
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Pick your ideal weather: a warm rainy afternoon or a cool sunny morning.
Pumili ng gusto mong panahon: maulan pero mainit na hapon o maaraw pero malamig na umaga.
Back of the card
Choose a sound to go with your weather.
Pumili ng tunog na bagay sa pinili mong panahon.
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Two choices: unlimited snacks or perfect sleep for one week. Defend your pick.
Dalawa lang: unlimited snacks o perfect sleep for one week. I-defend ang pick mo.
Back of the card
Low-stakes choices still reveal priorities. Snack joy and good sleep are both valid campaign platforms.
Kahit low-stakes, may priorities pa rin. Snack joy at good sleep, parehong valid campaign platform.
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If you could remove one tiny daily inconvenience forever, what would you remove?
Kung kaya mong tanggalin forever ang isang tiny daily inconvenience, ano ang tatanggalin mo?
Back of the card
Tiny inconveniences can be louder than they deserve. Removing one forever would feel like a quiet luxury.
Minsan ang ingay ng tiny inconveniences. Kapag natanggal forever yung isa, quiet luxury na agad.
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For one month, you can have music or movies, but not both. Which do you keep?
Kung isa lang ang puwede mong ma-enjoy sa loob ng isang buwan, music o movies ang pipiliin mo?
Back of the card
Name the first song or movie you would return to when the month ends.
Anong kanta o movie ang una mong babalikan pagkatapos ng buwan?
Their real week
6 questions
Routines, food and how they switch off.
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When you get home, what’s the first thing you usually do?
Pag-uwi mo, ano yung unang bagay na usually mong ginagawa?
Back of the card
That first move can be funny, tired, quiet, or automatic. It can say something about how you settle in.
Yung first move na iyon pwedeng nakakatawa, pagod, tahimik, o automatic. May sinasabi rin siya kung paano ka nagse-settle.
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Which part of the day usually feels easiest for you?
Anong part ng araw usually pinaka-madali para sa'yo?
Back of the card
Some people come alive in the morning, some at night, and some during one quiet pocket in between.
May taong buhay na buhay sa umaga, may gabi ang favorite, at may isang tahimik na part lang sa gitna na hinihintay.
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How do you usually unwind after a long day?
Paano ka usually nagpapahinga pagkatapos ng mahabang araw?
Back of the card
Everyone has a different way of landing after a full day. It can be quiet, active, social, or very simple.
Iba-iba tayo ng paraan mag-settle after a long day. Puwedeng tahimik, active, may kasama, o simple lang.
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If your afternoon suddenly became free, how would you spend it?
Kung biglang naging free ang hapon mo, paano mo ito gagamitin?
Back of the card
Free time shows what you reach for when nobody is asking for anything. It can be rest, fun, errands, or nothing at all.
Makikita sa free time kung saan ka kusang pupunta kapag walang kailangan sa'yo. Puwedeng pahinga, saya, errands, o wala lang.
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When your brain is tired, what is your go-to order?
Kapag pagod na utak mo, ano yung go-to order mo?
Back of the card
The reliable order deserves respect. It shows up when decisions are too much and hunger is already making a case.
Respect sa reliable order. Lumalabas siya kapag ayaw mo nang mag-decide at gutom na rin ang nagsasalita.
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If you were too tired to think, what would you order?
Kapag pagod ka nang mag-isip, ano yung o-orderin mo?
Back of the card
The no-thinking order is its own kind of comfort. It is the choice that carries you when your brain is done.
May comfort din sa order na hindi mo na kailangang isipin. Siya yung choice kapag ubos na utak mo.
The people around them
5 questions
How someone talks about their people says a lot.
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Tell us about a friend who made you feel like you belonged.
Ikuwento yung friend na nagparamdam sa'yo na belong ka.
Back of the card
Inclusion can happen through one seat saved, one question asked, or one person making room on purpose.
Minsan isang upuang tinabi, isang tanong, o isang taong sinadyang magtabi ng space ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka.
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How do you usually show a friend that you care?
Paano mo usually pinapakita sa friend na may care ka?
Back of the card
Care has many shapes: checking in, feeding people, remembering details, giving space, or staying when it gets inconvenient.
Maraming itsura ang care: nangangamusta, nagpapakain, nakakaalala ng details, nagbibigay ng space, o nananatili kahit hassle.
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Who is a friend you can sit quietly with without it feeling awkward?
Sino yung friend na kaya mong samahan nang tahimik without it feeling awkward?
Back of the card
Comfortable quiet is its own kind of closeness. It means the friendship does not always need talking, joking, or trying hard.
May closeness din sa tahimik na hindi awkward. Ibig sabihin, hindi laging kailangang magsalita, magpatawa, o mag-effort nang todo.
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How would you like friends to react when you share good news?
Paano mo gustong mag-react ang friends kapag may good news ka?
Back of the card
A loud cheer or a quiet “I'm happy for you” — which fits this news?
Malakas na cheer o tahimik na “Masaya ako para sa'yo” — alin ang bagay sa balitang ito?
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Who do you wish you could spend more normal, no-special-plan time with?
Sino yung gusto mong makasama nang mas madalas, kahit walang special na lakad?
Back of the card
Ordinary time can build closeness slowly. Not every good moment needs an occasion.
Nakakabuo rin ng closeness ang ordinaryong time. Hindi lahat ng magandang moment kailangan may special na lakad.
What matters to them
5 questions
For a call or a hangout, not a quick text.
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If a friend asked what matters to you lately, what is the first thing you would mention?
Kung tanungin ka ng friend kung ano ang importante sa'yo lately, ano yung una mong sasabihin?
Back of the card
You do not have to list everything. Starting with one honest thing is already enough for a real answer.
Hindi mo kailangang ilista lahat. Sapat na magsimula sa isang honest na bagay para maging totoong sagot.
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What recent choice shows something that matters to you?
Anong pinili mo lately ang nagpapakita ng mahalaga sa'yo?
Back of the card
Finish if you like: "I chose it because I care about..."
Kung gusto mo, ituloy: "Iyon ang pinili ko dahil mahalaga sa'kin ang..."
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Pick one value you want to show up in your week.
Pumili ng isang value na gusto mong makita sa week mo.
Back of the card
A value becomes real in small choices. One week is enough space to practice it gently.
Nagiging real ang value sa maliliit na choices. Sapat na ang isang week para i-practice siya nang gentle.
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Tell us about something you used to avoid that feels less scary now.
Kuwento mo yung dati mong iniiwasan pero hindi na ganun ka-scary ngayon.
Back of the card
Less scary is still movement. You do not have to be fearless to know something has changed.
Movement pa rin ang less scary. Hindi mo kailangang maging fearless para malaman na may nagbago.
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Name one small wish you have for yourself this year.
Ano yung isang maliit na wish mo para sa sarili mo this year?
Back of the card
Small wishes can still be honest. They may be easier to say out loud because they do not demand a perfect life.
Maliit man yung wish, honest pa rin. Minsan mas madaling sabihin kasi hindi niya hinihingi na perfect ang buhay.
How to use them
Before you ask
The talking stage runs on small messages: good morning, what are you up to, haha same. It’s pleasant and it tells you almost nothing. The questions that help are easy enough to answer from a bus seat and specific enough to show you who someone is: what they do first when they get home, how they unwind, how they spend a surprise free afternoon. You learn more from those than from a week of “wyd.”
Mix the light ones into texts and voice notes, then save the rest for a call or a hangout, where you can hear the pause before an answer. Ask about their friends and family; how someone talks about their people tells you plenty. Skip anything that sounds like a job interview or a relationship test. You’re not together yet, so none of these questions assume you are.
Every card here comes from decks for anyone you’re getting to know, with a Tagalog version on each. If it turns into something real, the Couples Edition is there for later. Until then, answer your own questions too, and don’t send them all in one night.
Good for
Tips
- Send one question at a time, not a list.
- Answer it yourself in the same message so it doesn’t feel like a quiz.
- Follow up on a detail from their last reply before asking something new.
- Keep the bigger questions for a call, where tone comes through.
- If they’re slow to reply, let it be; a question isn’t a debt.
Decks for this
Talking stage
Frequently asked questions
What should you ask in the talking stage?
Easy, specific questions about their real life: their routine after work, how they unwind, what they’d do with a free afternoon, what matters to them lately. They’re light enough to text and tell you more than small talk.
How do you keep a talking stage conversation going?
Ask about one detail from their last message, share your own answer, then add a new question only when the thread runs out. Specific questions keep a conversation alive longer than “how was your day.”
What are deep questions for the talking stage?
Gentle ones about values rather than the relationship: what matters to them lately, which recent choice says something about them, what used to scare them and feels easier now. Keep anything heavier until you’ve met a few times.
What should you not ask in the talking stage?
Avoid questions that test commitment, compare exes or pry into money and family trouble. They put pressure on something that hasn’t had time to grow yet.
Bring a better question to the table.
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