Questions · Father and son
Father-son questions, without the lecture
Questions for a father and son to ask each other: easy ones that work shoulder to shoulder, skills and firsts, how to handle tension without a lecture, and the man each of you wants to be.
- 16 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Who taught you a useful skill or habit you still use in daily life?
Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng useful skill o habit na gamit mo pa rin sa daily life?
Practical lessons are easy to overlook, but they stay close. They show up in the small ways you move through a day.
Madaling ma-overlook ang practical lessons, pero dala-dala mo pala. Lumalabas sila sa maliliit mong galaw araw-araw.
The questions
16 father-son questions
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Shoulder to shoulder
4 questions
For fixing something, fishing or a long drive.
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When doing something with friends, which small job do you enjoy helping with?
Kapag may ginagawa kayo ng friends, anong parte ang gusto mong akuin para makatulong?
Back of the card
Would you still enjoy that job with a much bigger group?
Gusto mo pa rin ba ang gawaing iyon kung mas marami ang kasama?
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If you could remove one tiny daily inconvenience forever, what would you remove?
Kung kaya mong tanggalin forever ang isang tiny daily inconvenience, ano ang tatanggalin mo?
Back of the card
Tiny inconveniences can be louder than they deserve. Removing one forever would feel like a quiet luxury.
Minsan ang ingay ng tiny inconveniences. Kapag natanggal forever yung isa, quiet luxury na agad.
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Choose a safe tour: outer space or the bottom of the ocean.
Pumili ng ligtas na tour: outer space o ilalim ng dagat.
Back of the card
Choose one sight from the tour you would want as your phone wallpaper.
Pumili ng tanawin sa tour na gusto mong gawing wallpaper sa phone.
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Two choices: unlimited snacks or perfect sleep for one week. Defend your pick.
Dalawa lang: unlimited snacks o perfect sleep for one week. I-defend ang pick mo.
Back of the card
Low-stakes choices still reveal priorities. Snack joy and good sleep are both valid campaign platforms.
Kahit low-stakes, may priorities pa rin. Snack joy at good sleep, parehong valid campaign platform.
Skills and firsts
5 questions
Who taught what, and what got easier.
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Who taught you a useful skill or habit you still use in daily life?
Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng useful skill o habit na gamit mo pa rin sa daily life?
Back of the card
Practical lessons are easy to overlook, but they stay close. They show up in the small ways you move through a day.
Madaling ma-overlook ang practical lessons, pero dala-dala mo pala. Lumalabas sila sa maliliit mong galaw araw-araw.
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Recall the last time you tried something new just because you were curious.
Ikuwento ang huling beses na sumubok ka ng bago dahil curious ka lang.
Back of the card
Would you try it again, or was once enough?
Susubukan mo ba ulit, o sapat na ang minsan?
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What is something you can handle better now than before?
Ano yung mas kaya mo nang i-handle ngayon kaysa dati?
Back of the card
Growth is often noticed in comparison. What used to shake you may now take less from you.
Madalas napapansin ang growth kapag may comparison. Yung dati kang kinakabahan, baka ngayon mas kaya mo nang harapin.
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What failed plan with friends turned into a good memory?
Anong pumalpak na plano kasama ang friends ang naging masayang memory?
Back of the card
The failed plan can be the story's best plot twist.
Puwedeng ang pumalpak na plano ang pinakamagandang plot twist sa kuwento.
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What have you done recently that you are pleased about?
Anong nagawa mo kamakailan ang ikinatuwa mo?
Back of the card
If your win had a tiny trophy, what would be written on it?
Kung may maliit na trophy ang nagawa mo, ano ang nakasulat dito?
The hard stuff, without a lecture
4 questions
How you two handle tension, apologies and disagreements.
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During tension, what do I do that helps keep things from getting worse?
Kapag may tension, ano yung ginagawa ko na nakakatulong para hindi lumala ang usapan?
Back of the card
In conflict, small helpful moves matter. They can slow things down before the conversation turns into hurting each other.
Sa conflict, mahalaga ang small helpful moves. Pinapabagal nila ang usapan bago ito mauwi sa saktan.
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What kind of apology from me has felt sincere to you before?
Anong klaseng sorry mula sa akin ang naramdaman mong sincere noon?
Back of the card
A real apology often has a shape: ownership, care, and a different response over time.
Madalas may shape ang real apology: pag-own, care, at ibang response over time.
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What habit makes a small disagreement with a friend worse?
Anong habit ang nagpapalala sa simpleng hindi pagkakasundo ninyo ng friend?
Back of the card
Talk about the habit, not which friend does it.
Habit ang pag-usapan, hindi kung sinong friend ang gumagawa nito.
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How do you talk to yourself when you fall short?
Paano ka makipag-usap sa sarili mo kapag nagkukulang ka?
Back of the card
The voice you use with yourself matters. It can either add weight or make room for a wiser next step.
Mahalaga yung boses na gamit mo sa sarili mo. Puwede siyang magdagdag ng bigat o magbigay ng space para sa mas wise na next step.
The man he wants to be
3 questions
Both of you answer. Sons want to hear their dad’s answer too.
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Name one truth about yourself that is becoming harder to ignore.
Magsabi ng isang truth tungkol sa sarili mo na mas mahirap nang i-ignore.
Back of the card
A truth that keeps returning may not be trying to shame you. It may be asking for honest attention.
Yung truth na paulit-ulit bumabalik, baka hindi ka pinapahiya. Baka humihingi lang siya ng honest na pansin.
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Name something that matters to you more now than it used to.
Magsabi ng isang bagay na mas mahalaga na sa'yo ngayon kaysa dati.
Back of the card
What matters can change as you grow. That shift is not betrayal; it may be a clearer kind of honesty.
Puwedeng magbago ang mahalaga habang naggo-grow ka. Hindi agad betrayal yun; baka mas malinaw na honesty.
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What do you like more about yourself than you used to?
Ano ang mas nagugustuhan mo sa sarili mo kaysa dati?
Back of the card
Would you appreciate the same thing in another person? Your story can stay private.
Magugustuhan mo rin ba iyon sa ibang tao? Puwedeng itago ang sarili mong kuwento.
How to use them
Before you ask
Father-son conversations have a reputation for being short. Often that’s because they only happen when something is wrong: grades, curfew, the car. Father-son questions asked on an ordinary day build a different habit, where talking isn’t automatically a sign of trouble.
Most fathers and sons find it easier to talk shoulder to shoulder: working on something, on a drive, at a game. Start with an easy pick, then ask about firsts and skills. A father telling his son about the first time he handled something on his own, and the son telling his, puts them on even ground.
The hard-stuff group is the one sons tend to remember. Asking what kind of apology has felt sincere, or what each of you does that keeps tension from getting worse, gives you a script for the next argument that isn’t a lecture.
Good for
Tips
- Talk while doing something with your hands.
- Dad goes first on the hard questions.
- No “when I was your age” unless he asks.
- Ask about apologies on a calm day, not after a fight.
- End with a plan for the next time you’ll do this.
Decks for this
Father and son
Frequently asked questions
What are good father-son questions?
Start with easy picks like snacks or sleep for a week, then trade stories about firsts and skills. Ask what helps keep tension from getting worse between you, and what each of you is learning about yourself.
How can a father and son talk more?
Do things side by side, talk on ordinary days and not only when something is wrong, and let the son ask questions too. Answer honestly, including about your mistakes.
Do these work for adult sons and their fathers?
Yes. Grown sons and their dads often find the apology and growth questions the most useful, especially after years of short conversations.
Bring a better question to the table.
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