Questions · Dating again
Questions for when you start dating again
Questions for getting back into dating after a breakup, a divorce, being widowed or simply years off. A few to ask yourself first, easy ones for that first date back, and some for taking it slow.
- 17 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
Which part of yourself are you learning to accept?
Anong part ng sarili mo ang natututuhan mong tanggapin?
Acceptance can be slow and ordinary. Sometimes it begins when you stop arguing with one true part of yourself.
Mabagal at ordinary minsan ang acceptance. Minsan nagsisimula siya kapag hindi mo na inaaway ang isang totoong part mo.
The questions
17 questions for dating again
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
Ask yourself first
5 questions
Five minutes with a journal before you download an app.
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Which part of yourself are you learning to accept?
Anong part ng sarili mo ang natututuhan mong tanggapin?
Back of the card
Acceptance can be slow and ordinary. Sometimes it begins when you stop arguing with one true part of yourself.
Mabagal at ordinary minsan ang acceptance. Minsan nagsisimula siya kapag hindi mo na inaaway ang isang totoong part mo.
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Describe the kind of person your recent choices point toward.
I-describe kung anong klaseng tao ang tinuturo ng recent choices mo.
Back of the card
Your choices are not the whole story, but they do point somewhere. Notice the direction without rushing to judge it.
Hindi buong story ang choices mo, pero may direction silang tinuturo. Pansinin muna bago husgahan.
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Where do you need a little more courage this week?
Saan mo kailangan ng konting dagdag courage this week?
Back of the card
Courage does not always look big. Sometimes it is one honest message, one boundary, or one careful next step.
Hindi laging malaki ang courage. Minsan isang honest message, isang boundary, o isang maingat na next step lang.
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Pick one small kindness you can give yourself today.
Pumili ng isang maliit na kindness na kaya mong ibigay sa sarili mo today.
Back of the card
Kindness does not need to be grand to be real. A small mercy can still change how the day feels.
Hindi kailangang bongga ang kindness para maging totoo. Kahit maliit na mercy, puwedeng baguhin ang feel ng araw.
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Name one thing you are learning about your limits with energy, time, emotions, or responsibilities.
Magbanggit ng isang natututuhan mo tungkol sa limits mo sa energy, time, emotions, o responsibilities.
Back of the card
Limits can feel frustrating, but they are also information. They show where care needs to become more practical.
Nakaka-frustrate minsan ang limits, pero may information din sila. Ipinapakita nila kung saan kailangang maging mas practical ang care.
For the first date back
5 questions
Light and easy. You are rusty, and so are they.
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Which simple hangout with a friend would you happily repeat?
Anong simpleng bonding kasama ang friend ang gusto mong ulitin?
Back of the card
Same place, same activity, different weather. Would you still choose it?
Parehong lugar at gagawin, pero iba ang panahon. Pipiliin mo pa rin ba ito?
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After the main plan ends, which part of the hangout do you enjoy most?
After ng main plan, which part ng hangout ang pinaka-enjoy mo?
Back of the card
The after-plan part can become the real memory. Looser moments sometimes carry the easiest stories.
Minsan yung after ng main plan ang nagiging totoong memory. Mas loose kasi, kaya mas madaling magka-kwento.
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After finishing something hard, how do you usually celebrate or recover?
Kapag natapos mo ang mahirap na bagay, paano ka usually nagse-celebrate o nagre-recover?
Back of the card
Finishing something hard deserves a landing. Some people mark it loudly; some just need a quiet exhale.
Kapag may natapos kang mahirap, kailangan din ng landing. May nagse-celebrate nang malakas; may tahimik na hinga lang.
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Tell us about one simple thing that can make your day better.
Ikuwento mo yung simpleng bagay na nakakapagpaganda ng araw mo.
Back of the card
Small things count because real days are mostly made of small things. Even a tiny lift can matter.
May bigat din ang simpleng bagay, kasi karamihan ng araw natin puro maliliit na moments. Kahit konting gaan, may halaga.
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Would you rather have one long vacation or several short ones?
Mas gusto mo ba ng isang mahabang bakasyon o ilang maiikli?
Back of the card
Give your break a title, as if it were a movie.
Bigyan ng pamagat ang break mo, na parang movie.
Who you’ve each become
4 questions
Good for second and third dates, when you are both a bit more open.
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What is something you can handle better now than before?
Ano yung mas kaya mo nang i-handle ngayon kaysa dati?
Back of the card
Growth is often noticed in comparison. What used to shake you may now take less from you.
Madalas napapansin ang growth kapag may comparison. Yung dati kang kinakabahan, baka ngayon mas kaya mo nang harapin.
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What can you do now that would have surprised you a few years ago?
Ano ang kaya mo na ngayon na hindi mo inakalang magagawa mo ilang taon na ang nakaraan?
Back of the card
Picture showing your younger self how you do it. What might surprise them first?
Isipin na ipinapakita mo sa mas batang sarili mo kung paano mo ito ginagawa. Ano kaya ang una niyang ikagugulat?
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If a friend said you have changed in a good way, what change would you hope they noticed?
Kung sabihin ng friend mo na nagbago ka in a good way, anong change ang sana napansin nila?
Back of the card
The change you hope someone notices may point to what you have been quietly practicing.
Yung change na sana mapansin nila baka yun yung tahimik mong pinapractice nitong season.
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What do you like more about yourself than you used to?
Ano ang mas nagugustuhan mo sa sarili mo kaysa dati?
Back of the card
Would you appreciate the same thing in another person? Your story can stay private.
Magugustuhan mo rin ba iyon sa ibang tao? Puwedeng itago ang sarili mong kuwento.
Going slow
3 questions
For you, or to ask someone else who is also starting over.
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What helps you keep going when the next step is not clear?
Ano ang tumutulong sa'yo magpatuloy kapag hindi pa clear ang next step?
Back of the card
You do not need the whole map to keep moving carefully. Sometimes enough light for one step is still enough.
Hindi mo kailangan ng buong mapa para gumalaw nang maingat. Minsan sapat na ang konting linaw para sa isang step.
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Name one good thing you are quietly hoping for.
Magsabi ng isang good thing na tahimik mong hinihiling lately.
Back of the card
Quiet hopes still deserve room. Saying them gently can remind you that wanting good things is not foolish.
May lugar din ang tahimik na hopes. Kapag nasabi mo sila nang gentle, naaalala mong hindi foolish ang umasa sa mabuti.
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What might you need to say no to, pause, or limit so your week feels lighter?
Ano yung kailangan mong hihindian, i-pause, o limitahan para mas gumaan ang week mo?
Back of the card
A boundary is not always a wall. Sometimes it is a small line that helps you stay present and honest.
Hindi laging pader ang boundary. Minsan maliit na line lang siya para mas present at honest ka.
How to use them
Before you ask
Dating again starts with a couple of questions to yourself: which part of yourself you are learning to accept, what kind of person your recent choices point toward, where you need a little more courage this week. Knowing your own answers makes it much easier to recognize someone who fits the person you are now, not the person you were last time.
People coming back to dating often feel they’ve forgotten how. Everyone else seems fluent in apps and texting etiquette, and first-date small talk feels foreign. The truth is that most people on that first date back are just as rusty. Light questions about simple hangouts and small pleasures take the pressure off both of you.
Don’t feel you have to explain your history on date one. The questions about who you’ve each become fit better on a second or third date, and they let you talk about growth without turning dinner into a debrief of the past.
Good for
Tips
- Answer the first group in writing before your first date. It steadies you.
- You don’t owe anyone your breakup story on a first date.
- Pick short, daytime first dates while you get your footing.
- Notice how you feel after a date, not just how it went.
- Go at your own pace. Taking it slow is a choice, not a delay.
Decks for this
Dating again
Frequently asked questions
What should I ask myself before dating again?
Ask which parts of yourself you are learning to accept, what your recent choices say about who you are becoming, where you need courage, and what you are still learning about your limits. Honest answers help you choose well.
What do you talk about on a first date after a divorce?
Keep it light: simple pleasures, favorite hangouts, something that went well recently. Talk about the divorce briefly if it comes up, and save the deeper history for later dates.
How do you know if you are ready to date again?
When you are curious about meeting someone new rather than hoping they will fix how you feel. Answering a few reflective questions honestly is a good test.
Bring a better question to the table.
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