Questions · Older couples
Questions for older couples with a lot of story behind them
Conversation questions for couples in their sixties, seventies and beyond: long-married, remarried or newly together. About growing up, the years you’ve shared, how this chapter feels, and what you still want to do.
- 16 questions
- EN + TL on every card
- Free in the app
Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.
When you were younger, what got you excited quickly?
Nung bata ka, ano yung madaling maka-excite sa'yo?
Early excitement can be fun to remember. It can also show what kind of wonder came naturally to you.
Nakakatuwang balikan yung madaling ika-excite mo dati. Minsan pinapakita rin nito kung anong klaseng wonder ang natural sa'yo.
The questions
16 questions for older couples
Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.
When you were young
3 questions
Childhood games, early excitement and the people who taught you things.
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When you were younger, what got you excited quickly?
Nung bata ka, ano yung madaling maka-excite sa'yo?
Back of the card
Early excitement can be fun to remember. It can also show what kind of wonder came naturally to you.
Nakakatuwang balikan yung madaling ika-excite mo dati. Minsan pinapakita rin nito kung anong klaseng wonder ang natural sa'yo.
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Who taught you a useful skill or habit you still use in daily life?
Sino yung nagturo sa'yo ng useful skill o habit na gamit mo pa rin sa daily life?
Back of the card
Practical lessons are easy to overlook, but they stay close. They show up in the small ways you move through a day.
Madaling ma-overlook ang practical lessons, pero dala-dala mo pala. Lumalabas sila sa maliliit mong galaw araw-araw.
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Back when you were a kid, what game or activity could keep you busy for hours?
Nung bata ka, anong laro o activity ang kaya mong pagkaabalahan nang ilang oras?
Back of the card
Childhood focus has its own sweetness. It remembers a time when getting lost in play was enough.
May sariling saya yung focus nung bata tayo. Naalala nito yung panahon na sapat na ang maglaro nang maglaro.
The years together
4 questions
Promises kept, greetings that still land, and kindness when tired.
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When one or both of us is tired, what do we already do that helps us stay kind to each other?
Kapag pagod ang isa o pareho sa atin, ano yung nagagawa na natin na tumutulong para maging kind pa rin tayo sa isa't isa?
Back of the card
Tiredness can easily create distance. Noticing what already works helps you protect the small habits that keep you close.
Madaling gumawa ng distance ang pagod. Kapag napansin ninyo kung ano na yung gumagana, mas naaalagaan ninyo yung small habits na nagpapanatiling close kayo.
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What is one little promise we keep well?
Ano yung maliit na promise na maayos nating natutupad?
Back of the card
Trust grows through small kept promises. Seeing them clearly can make reliability feel less invisible.
Lumalaki ang trust sa maliliit na promises na natutupad. Kapag nakita ang mga ito, hindi na invisible ang reliability.
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What kind of greeting from me makes you feel most welcomed?
Anong klaseng bati mula sa akin ang pinaka-nagpaparamdam sa'yo na welcome ka?
Back of the card
The way you greet each other matters. Even a small hello can make coming back to each other feel warmer.
Mahalaga kung paano ninyo binabati ang isa't isa. Kahit simpleng hello, puwedeng gawing mas warm ang pagbalik ninyo sa isa't isa.
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What has gotten better in the way we talk to each other?
Ano yung mas gumanda sa paraan natin mag-usap?
Back of the card
Improvement deserves to be noticed. It gives both of you proof that change is possible and worth continuing.
Dapat napapansin ang improvement. Nagbibigay ito sa inyong dalawa ng proof na possible ang change at worth it ipagpatuloy.
This chapter
5 questions
Rest, presence and enjoying life without guilt.
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When do you usually feel fully present in the moment, like during rest, work, prayer, conversation, or play?
Kailan mo usually nararamdaman na fully present ka sa moment, like kapag nagpapahinga, nagwo-work, nagpe-pray, may kausap, o naglalaro?
Back of the card
Presence often has a pattern. The moments when you feel fully there can point toward what helps you feel whole.
May pattern din ang pagiging present. Yung moments na nandun ka talaga, puwedeng magturo kung ano ang nagpapabuong muli sa'yo.
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Which kind of rest would help you most this week?
Anong klaseng pahinga ang pinaka-makakatulong sa'yo this week?
Back of the card
Rest is not always sleep. Sometimes it is quiet, help, laughter, less noise, or permission to stop proving.
Hindi laging tulog ang pahinga. Minsan quiet, tulong, tawanan, less noise, o permiso na tumigil muna sa pagpapatunay.
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What kind of rest, fun, or treat are you learning to enjoy without feeling bad about it?
Anong klaseng pahinga, saya, o treat ang natututuhan mong i-enjoy nang hindi masyadong nagi-guilty?
Back of the card
Enjoyment can take practice, especially when you are used to earning every pause. This question leaves room for that.
Minsan kailangan ding matutuhan ang mag-enjoy, lalo na kung sanay kang kailangan mong paghirapan ang bawat pahinga. May space dito para doon.
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What is a recent act of kindness that caught you by surprise?
Anong magandang ginawa sa'yo lately ang hindi mo inaasahan?
Back of the card
Keep names private if you like. Picture the instant you realized what they had done for you.
Puwedeng itago ang mga pangalan. Balikan ang sandaling naisip mo kung ano ang ginawa nila para sa'yo.
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When did you realize a habit you already had was helping you?
Kailan mo na-realize na nakakatulong pala yung habit na meron ka na?
Back of the card
Helpful habits are not always dramatic. Sometimes you only notice them when life feels a little easier because they are there.
Hindi laging dramatic ang helpful habits. Minsan mo lang sila napapansin kapag mas gumagaan ang life dahil nandiyan sila.
Still to come
4 questions
Hobbies to pick back up, languages to learn, things to try.
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If you had one free hour every week, what hobby would you go back to?
Kung may isang free hour ka every week, anong hobby ang babalikan mo?
Back of the card
A hobby you miss can point to a part of you that still wants some space.
Yung hobby na nami-miss mo minsan tumuturo sa part ng sarili mo na gusto pa rin ng konting space.
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Which language would you learn instantly if you woke up fluent tomorrow?
Kung paggising mo bukas ay marunong ka na ng isang bagong language, ano ang pipiliin mo?
Back of the card
Choose the first person you would like to talk to in that language.
Piliin ang unang taong gusto mong makausap gamit ang wikang iyon.
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Recall the last time you tried something new just because you were curious.
Ikuwento ang huling beses na sumubok ka ng bago dahil curious ka lang.
Back of the card
Would you try it again, or was once enough?
Susubukan mo ba ulit, o sapat na ang minsan?
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Picture meeting an old friend after a few years. What would you want to do together first?
Isipin na nagkita kayo ng dating friend makalipas ang ilang taon. Ano ang una mong gustong gawin ninyo?
Back of the card
You could begin with the most ordinary thing you used to do together.
Puwedeng magsimula sa pinakasimpleng dati ninyong ginagawa nang magkasama.
How to use them
Before you ask
Ask older couples for stories, not facts: a childhood game that kept you busy for hours, who taught you a skill you still use, a little promise you have kept well. After decades of life, there is no shortage of material. What’s often missing is a reason to tell it again.
Long-married couples sometimes assume they have heard everything. They usually haven’t. People remember different things as they age, and a question asked at seventy brings up memories that never came up at forty. For couples who found each other later in life, these questions fill in the decades you weren’t there for.
Take your time with them. One or two questions over coffee or on a porch is a lovely ritual. The last group matters: this chapter isn’t only for looking back, and naming the things you still want to try keeps it moving forward.
Good for
Tips
- Ask each other the same question and enjoy how differently you remember.
- Record a few answers on a phone for the grandchildren.
- Large print helps: show the card on a tablet or write it on a notecard.
- If a question brings up someone who has passed, let the story be told.
- Plan one thing from the “still to come” answers within the month.
Decks for this
Older couples
Frequently asked questions
What are good conversation starters for older couples?
Questions about childhood, the people who taught them things, the promises they’ve kept and what they still want to try. Story questions work far better than yes-or-no ones.
How can long-married couples keep conversations fresh?
Ask about memories from before you met, and about how this chapter of life feels now. People change at every age, and there is always something new to learn.
Are these good for an anniversary party?
Yes. Ask the couple one or two in front of family, or put a few on the tables for guests to ask them during the meal.
Bring a better question to the table.
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