Questions · Third date

Third date questions for when the basics are covered

Questions for a third date, when you know their job and their hometown and want to know the person. Their people, how they actually spend their days, and a few slightly more personal ones.

  • 18 questions
  • EN + TL on every card
  • Free in the app
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Kumustahan is a bilingual conversation card app: 1,200 questions in English and Filipino across 7 decks, with a short reflection on the back of every card.

Getting to know№ 39

Tell us about a friend who made you feel like you belonged.

Ikuwento yung friend na nagparamdam sa'yo na belong ka.

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A note

Inclusion can happen through one seat saved, one question asked, or one person making room on purpose.

Minsan isang upuang tinabi, isang tanong, o isang taong sinadyang magtabi ng space ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka.

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The questions

18 questions for a third date

Every question in English and Filipino/Tagalog, word for word from the Kumustahan decks. Open “Back of the card” for the reflection printed on the other side.

Their people

6 questions

The friends and family who made them who they are.

  1. Tell us about a friend who made you feel like you belonged.

    Ikuwento yung friend na nagparamdam sa'yo na belong ka.

    Back of the card

    Inclusion can happen through one seat saved, one question asked, or one person making room on purpose.

    Minsan isang upuang tinabi, isang tanong, o isang taong sinadyang magtabi ng space ang nagpaparamdam na kasama ka.

  2. How did your first impression of a friend change once you got to know them?

    Anong first impression mo sa isang friend ang nagbago nang makilala mo sila?

    Back of the card

    You can finish: “I thought they were..., then I noticed...”

    Puwedeng ituloy: “Akala ko..., tapos napansin ko...”

  3. Think of someone in your circle who can turn anything into a funny story.

    Isipin yung tao sa circle niyo na kayang gawing funny story kahit simpleng bagay lang.

    Back of the card

    Every circle has someone who makes ordinary stories funnier than expected. Naming them is also a tiny thank-you.

    May tao talagang nagpapasaya ng simpleng kwento. Kapag naalala mo siya, parang small thank-you na rin.

  4. Who do you wish you could spend more normal, no-special-plan time with?

    Sino yung gusto mong makasama nang mas madalas, kahit walang special na lakad?

    Back of the card

    Ordinary time can build closeness slowly. Not every good moment needs an occasion.

    Nakakabuo rin ng closeness ang ordinaryong time. Hindi lahat ng magandang moment kailangan may special na lakad.

  5. Which ability did a friend notice in you before you noticed it yourself?

    Anong galing mo ang unang napansin ng friend bago mo ito nakita sa sarili mo?

    Back of the card

    You could borrow their words to describe your ability once.

    Puwede mong gamitin ang sinabi nila para ilarawan ang galing mo.

  6. Which simple friendship tradition would you like to keep even when everyone gets busier?

    Anong nakasanayan ninyong gawin ng friends mo ang gusto mong ituloy kahit maging mas busy kayo?

    Back of the card

    What would be the easiest version to keep on a busy week?

    Ano ang pinakamadaling bersiyon nito kapag busy ang linggo?

How they actually live

4 questions

What a bad day, a rest day and a normal evening look like.

  1. Where do you feel like you can finally breathe a little?

    Saan mo nararamdaman na parang nakakahinga ka na ulit?

    Back of the card

    The place does not have to be special to anyone else. If your body softens there, it counts.

    Hindi kailangang special sa ibang tao yung lugar. Kung doon ka lumuluwag, counted yun.

  2. Tell us about a small routine that helps you feel okay when your day feels off.

    Ikuwento yung small routine na tumutulong sa'yo maging okay kapag off ang araw mo.

    Back of the card

    A routine does not have to be impressive to help. Sometimes familiar steps are enough to help you find your footing again.

    Hindi kailangang impressive ang routine para makatulong. Minsan sapat na yung familiar na steps para makabalik ka sa okay.

  3. After a busy or tiring season, how can people tell that you’ve actually rested?

    After ng busy o nakakapagod na season, paano malalaman ng mga tao na nakapagpahinga ka talaga?

    Back of the card

    Real rest often shows up quietly: more patience, more jokes, clearer thoughts, or simply a softer face.

    Madalas tahimik lang makita ang tunay na pahinga: mas mahaba ang pasensya, mas may jokes, mas malinaw mag-isip, o mas maaliwalas lang.

  4. Describe a tiny routine you do even if nobody notices.

    I-describe yung tiny routine mo kahit walang nakakapansin.

    Back of the card

    Tiny routines can be private proof that you have your own way of moving through the day.

    Yung tiny routines, private proof minsan na may sarili kang way gumalaw sa araw, sa sarili mong style.

A little more personal

5 questions

Growth, changed minds and what matters now.

  1. Tell us about something you used to avoid that feels less scary now.

    Kuwento mo yung dati mong iniiwasan pero hindi na ganun ka-scary ngayon.

    Back of the card

    Less scary is still movement. You do not have to be fearless to know something has changed.

    Movement pa rin ang less scary. Hindi mo kailangang maging fearless para malaman na may nagbago.

  2. When did you last change your mind after hearing a good reason?

    Kailan ka huling nagbago ng isip dahil may narinig kang magandang reason?

    Back of the card

    Try an optional before-and-after: "I thought..., but now..."

    Kung gusto mo: "Dati, akala ko..., pero ngayon..."

  3. What recent choice shows something that matters to you?

    Anong pinili mo lately ang nagpapakita ng mahalaga sa'yo?

    Back of the card

    Finish if you like: "I chose it because I care about..."

    Kung gusto mo, ituloy: "Iyon ang pinili ko dahil mahalaga sa'kin ang..."

  4. Name something that matters to you more now than it used to.

    Magsabi ng isang bagay na mas mahalaga na sa'yo ngayon kaysa dati.

    Back of the card

    What matters can change as you grow. That shift is not betrayal; it may be a clearer kind of honesty.

    Puwedeng magbago ang mahalaga habang naggo-grow ka. Hindi agad betrayal yun; baka mas malinaw na honesty.

  5. What is something you can handle better now than before?

    Ano yung mas kaya mo nang i-handle ngayon kaysa dati?

    Back of the card

    Growth is often noticed in comparison. What used to shake you may now take less from you.

    Madalas napapansin ang growth kapag may comparison. Yung dati kang kinakabahan, baka ngayon mas kaya mo nang harapin.

Toward a fourth date

3 questions

Things to look forward to, maybe together.

  1. What are you looking forward to over the next few weeks?

    Ano ang inaabangan mo sa susunod na mga linggo?

    Back of the card

    Finish if you like: "The part I cannot wait for is..."

    Kung gusto mo, ituloy: "Ang pinaka-inaabangan ko ay..."

  2. What fun activity would you like to introduce your friends to?

    Anong masayang activity ang gusto mong ipakilala sa friends?

    Back of the card

    Imagine their first try going wrong in a harmless, funny way.

    Isipin na may simpleng sablay sa unang pagsubok nila na puwede ninyong pagtawanan.

  3. If money were no problem, how would you spend a Saturday with nothing you had to do?

    Kung walang kailangang gawin at hindi problema ang pera, paano mo gagamitin ang isang Sabado?

    Back of the card

    Picture the end of your Saturday. What would make you wish it were still morning?

    Isipin ang katapusan ng Sabado mo. Bakit mo gugustuhing umaga pa lang?

How to use them

Before you ask

Third date questions should move from what someone does to who they are: the friend who made them feel they belonged, how they get through a day that feels off, something they used to avoid that feels less scary now. By date three the small talk is used up, and repeating it is how promising dates fizzle.

Third dates are often a little more relaxed, maybe dinner at someone’s place, a long walk or an activity. That makes it a good time to ask about their people, because friends and family say a lot about what someone values and how they treat others, without you having to ask about values directly.

Keep it two-way and keep it light around the personal questions. The goal isn’t to cover everything; it’s to find out whether you want a fourth date. The last group helps with that, naturally.

Good for

  • Cooking dinner together
  • A long walk or a hike
  • A slow bar or café date
  • The drive to an activity
  • Deciding whether you want to keep seeing them

Tips

  1. Ask about their friends before their family. It’s easier ground.
  2. Notice how they talk about other people. That’s the answer under the answer.
  3. Share one slightly vulnerable thing yourself; it makes the personal questions fair.
  4. Leave something for date four. Curiosity is a reason to come back.
  5. If you’re not feeling it, the kind thing is a warm goodbye, not a fourth date.

Decks for this

Third date

Frequently asked questions

What should you talk about on a third date?

Their friends and family, how they really spend their days, how they rest and handle a bad day, and something they have grown into. It is the point where you move from facts to the person.

Is the third date when things get serious?

Not necessarily. It is usually more relaxed and a bit more personal, but there is no deadline. Ask what feels natural and let the seriousness come from both sides.

What questions should you avoid on a third date?

Exes in detail, money, and anything about the future of “us” that you haven’t both hinted at yet. Those usually go better a few weeks later.

Bring a better question to the table.

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